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I was just reading HopeThisWorks on a potential EA...since my H left in '01, we have not divorced. However, as mentioned, I fell under an EA spell last year with a man who was also separated and I can honestly say it was due to my illness. However, thanks to my MB background, I convinced him to go back to his family because I knew he could never be completely happy without his children.
I'm being honest with all of you...but now, I do not feel proud...but I was extremely vulnerable. It had been four years that I held on...to hope...and it was because of this and my DD that I did not and have not pursued divorce.
I am looking for some feedback on this...criticsm, whatever I deserve...overall, some guidance...
Married 15 yrs, together 21, 6 yr old D, Found about H's A March'01. EA/PA had been for hree or four years but is now over..H is now with someone else but no one knows about it yet. H moved out 10/01. H no longer wears wedding band. No legal action has been taken yet.
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Joined: May 2006
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Do you feel like you have done everything you possible can to save your marriage? Sweetie, I know that you are a stronger woman then I am. I couldn't have gone four years trying to hold on to my M. The decision is completely your as to ehat you are going to do regarding your M. You just need to decide what's best for you and your DD. I wish I could offer you more than just my ear. I think you did a good job by breaking it off with OM, considering he was separate from his W and kids. that was very admiral of you! I wouldn't hang my head through, we all made a mistake and with everything you've been through, Lord knows, you're entitle to one. You were smart enough to realize it. I think you need to figure out what you want at this point.
I'm sorry I can't offer more! keep your head up!
A loving heart is the beginning of all knowledge.
Thomas Carlyle
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Joined: Aug 2005
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Hi Terrified again,
Be brave, take a breath, and take the plunge.
You have put up a valiant fight, but you know in your heart its time to lay down your sword and end your marriage.
Five years is a long time and you have a whole life out there yet to be lived.
Draw your strength from us, if you must, and come here for the support you are going to need in the coming months.
There is a whole big world out there just waiting for you.
New experiences
New places
New friends
Happiness and peace of mind is a good place to be.
In loving kindness,
k.d.'s heartbreak
In the end, I have nothing to lose but everything to gain, by trying to save my marriage.
Me, betrayed wife 46
Former Wandering Husband, 51 E/A 2005
28 years of marriage
DD 26, DS 24
O/W aka, Rat 29, A-D Assisted Living
Discovery 8-20-05 Recovery ongoing.
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Thanks for your replies...yes, I guess that is the only way to be at peace...to end the marriage legally and to know that I did everything I could to save it...
Married 15 yrs, together 21, 6 yr old D, Found about H's A March'01. EA/PA had been for hree or four years but is now over..H is now with someone else but no one knows about it yet. H moved out 10/01. H no longer wears wedding band. No legal action has been taken yet.
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Terri, after nearly five years (1/3 of your marriage) apart, there is no marriage to recover. Go ahead and get the formality of a divorce finalized, move on, and find a man who will love you and your daughter forever.
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Joined: Feb 2001
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Married 15 yrs, together 21, 6 yr old D, Found about H's A March'01. EA/PA had been for hree or four years but is now over..H is now with someone else but no one knows about it yet. H moved out 10/01. H no longer wears wedding band. No legal action has been taken yet.
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Joined: Feb 2001
Posts: 1,465
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Why is that inevitable next step so difficult...I feel like such a coward! This kind of thing would be easy for many of my friends...
Married 15 yrs, together 21, 6 yr old D, Found about H's A March'01. EA/PA had been for hree or four years but is now over..H is now with someone else but no one knows about it yet. H moved out 10/01. H no longer wears wedding band. No legal action has been taken yet.
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Joined: May 2006
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Hope and faith keep the human race going. We all have dreams and change is a scary thing wether we want to change or not! You are not being a coward! You're just holding onto a dream! Now, you have to figure out what you're next dream is and stay focused. You and your daughter deserve to be happy together! Put your haope and faith in your new dream and make it a reality! Wear your scares with pride and hold your head up high! I'm proud of you for fighting such a long battle! You've been through the hard part, it's got to be uphill from here!
A loving heart is the beginning of all knowledge.
Thomas Carlyle
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