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Joined: Jun 2006
Posts: 5
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Junior Member
Joined: Jun 2006
Posts: 5 |
What are some of the signs/clues that my wife may be having an affair other than my gut feeling.
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Joined: Jun 2006
Posts: 84
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Joined: Jun 2006
Posts: 84 |
i am currently going through this. not an expert but i'll take a shot at helping you out.
my wife started doing suspicous things she had never done before....turning her cell phone off when it was in the house (it was on 24/7 before). when she was on the computer and i would come upstairs she would look/act startled or like she was scrambling. being broad and generic about her day, her plans, etc. not having much of a desire to be affectionate or close to you and blaming it on the fact that she just doesn't feel good about herself right now.
making hints about how she isn't happy, doesn't know if this is going to work, needs time to clear her head, etc.
i know a lot of these are in any article or post you may read but these were some of the signs i saw.
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Joined: Apr 2000
Posts: 2,863
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Joined: Apr 2000
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Fancy underwear all of a sudden.
hides her purse, wallet.
smells different when she comes home.
has new friends who she meets and goes shopping with
starts using new and different slang
changes her taste in music. Classical, if she used to like Oldies. Country, if she used to like jazz. that type of thing.
becomes more modest and doesn't undress when you are in the room. (could be hiding love bites)
unexplained absences and lateness, with either long elaborate cover stories or refusal to get into what happened.
Your copy of the Kama Sutra is missing.
She rents Bridges of Madison County.
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Joined: Jun 2006
Posts: 39
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Joined: Jun 2006
Posts: 39 |
I just found out my wife was having an affair, here are some basic clues that I didn't think anything of at first, but now that I know what she did, are clear that she was having an affair.. I somewhat feel like an idiot, but I always trusted she wouldn't do this:
- Working late
- Working late from home
- Not sleeping very well (she may have a dilemma in her head)
- Change in attitude
- Leaving to work early
- She becomes apprehensive when you use her computer/cell phone
- She changes her passwords on email/IM's
- Make sure that you check on her at work (don't call her cell phone cause you don't know where she might be)
- Long lunches
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Joined: Feb 2005
Posts: 1,975
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Joined: Feb 2005
Posts: 1,975 |
Unexplained and unjustifiable anger expressed towards you.
It helps her justify what she is doing to you, somehow makes her believe that it is all your fault.
Mostly though, your gut will tell you. I literally ignored my gut for 6 months and conducted an effective plan A without consciously realizing that my FWH was having an affair. I was so effective that it ended before d-day.
Who
I am the BW,
He is the FWH
D-Day: 12/02/03
Recovered
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Joined: Aug 2005
Posts: 4,554
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Joined: Aug 2005
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Unexplained and unjustifiable anger expressed towards you. Oh yeah, that's a good one. I received a lot of that!
ManInMotion
===========
(see "MiM's Story" for more details)
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Joined: Jun 2006
Posts: 84
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Joined: Jun 2006
Posts: 84 |
You've gotten some good ones here.
Another one I've been getting from my WW is that she doesn't want this marriage anymore. in her fantasy world, she will pry herself away from me, separate/ divorce based on being unhappy and then eventually end up with OM. when she tells me she doesn't want this, i know the truth.
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Joined: Oct 2005
Posts: 7,464
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Joined: Oct 2005
Posts: 7,464 |
There's a speech.
"I love you but I'm not in love with you"
Me: 56 (FBS) Wife: 55 (FWW)
D-Day August 2005
Married 11/1982 3 Sons 27,25,23
Empty Nesters.
Fully Recovered.
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Joined: Jan 2005
Posts: 2,204
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- an almost conceited confidence she never had before
- new interests that she never had before
- saying she had lost who she was, but found who she is again
- flirting, and saying she has always been this way, she had just surpressed it while with you and she can't supress who she really is anymore
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Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 1,398
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Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 1,398 |
Im an expert on this.....
1.working late
2.cant get thru to person on cellphone
3.unexplained disappearing acts during the day
4.always checking text messages on cell
5.indifference to you
6.always wanting to leave home, or go on errands
7.frequenting the same places away from home
8.making/receiving phone calls at weird times
9.depressed all the time
10.looks terrible at home, looks beautiful when leaving home
11.terrible explanations for all of the above
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