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Joined: Nov 2005
Posts: 8
Junior Member
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Junior Member
Joined: Nov 2005
Posts: 8 |
I just found out that the woman that my fws had affair with is now having affair with another married man. He was/is a friend of my dh and has a 3yr old little boy. I dont know his wife, dont know where they live, and they dont have a phone. but I feel the need to let her know! Advice please?
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Joined: Jun 2002
Posts: 4,712
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Joined: Jun 2002
Posts: 4,712 |
Find a way to tell her!
In His arms.
Standing in His PresenceFBS (me) (48) FWW (41) Married April 1993... 4 kids (19(B), 17(G), 14(B), 4(B)) Blessed by God more than I deserve "If Jesus is your co-pilot...you need to change seats!"Link: The Roles of Husbands and Wives
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Joined: Apr 2006
Posts: 126
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Joined: Apr 2006
Posts: 126 |
Absolutely, fish for location info and tell her! Somebody you know knows where they live or how to contact them, you don't have to say why you want to get a hold of her.
Think of how appreciative you would have been in the same sitch. You may be able to save even more heartache for this family. You may want to tell her about your own sitch so she doesn't think you're just a nosy associate of her H's, it may also give her some solace to know she is not alone. Pass on the MB info.
You are doing a very considerate thing, alot of people would be too preoccupied with their own aches to get involoved in saving someonelse the same troubles. Good for you.
apl
BS-42
FWH-42
M-14yrs
3kids-S12,S9,D6
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Joined: Nov 2005
Posts: 8
Junior Member
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Junior Member
Joined: Nov 2005
Posts: 8 |
I am going to try to get in touch with her. I even considered asking my fwh to have a talk w/ him and just let him know exactly all of the ****** that we have been through trying to work everything out and let him know about all of the hurt that he will cause everyone, including himself.
I am ashamed of this, but part of me is somewhat relieved that she is chasing someone besides my husband. I feel guilty for feeling that way b/c i know the hurt that is waiting on the other bs.
My mother says that she may be cheating w/ this other guy just to see my dh's reaction or to try and hurt him since they are friends. But dh seemed like he didn't care either way. It has been 10 months since it ended w/them.
Are there women who just prey on married men? Why would they? And what can be done about it?
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Joined: Oct 2005
Posts: 7,464
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Joined: Oct 2005
Posts: 7,464 |
Are there women who just prey on married men? Why would they? And what can be done about it? Sure there are. Exposure to her wife is essential.
Me: 56 (FBS) Wife: 55 (FWW)
D-Day August 2005
Married 11/1982 3 Sons 27,25,23
Empty Nesters.
Fully Recovered.
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Joined: Apr 2005
Posts: 10,179
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Joined: Apr 2005
Posts: 10,179 |
Start with switchboard.com or zabasearch.com if you are in the US.
A smooth sea never made a skilled mariner.
~ English proverb Neak's Story
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Joined: Apr 2006
Posts: 261
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Joined: Apr 2006
Posts: 261 |
The OW in my situation knew my H through a job that he was working. She was connected to HR dept. She saw my H and wanted him to #$#%#$@- specifically. She targeted him knowing that he had a wife and two young children. She was married and had a young child herself. I think her rationale being that her marriage sucked and it didn't matter what happend to anyone elses (I can only assume). In the end, it is really the married man or woman who should be protecting his/her own marriage isn't it?
At this point both OW and WH were in the fog.
But please don't think that I am saying not to contact the wife. She needs to know, he needs to stop, and Ow needs to back off and get therapy.
me BW- 29
WH- 29
2kids- 2&5
married 10 years
"Love is the gift of self. It means emptying oneslf to reach out to others. In a certain sense, it means forgettung oneself for the good of others."
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