So please, I'm hoping someone can respond to me with an opinion/a little bit of wisdom. I am a 21 year old girl and I'm in love with my boyfriend (who is 25). We're both devoted Christians, and we both love the Lord with all of our hearts. We have discussed marriage, and have decided that it is something we both want, and we are planning for it to happen next year. We have a great relationship and what not. However, there is really just one thing that still continues to bother me. My boyfriend (who is 25) was attracted to our pastor's daughter (who is in her 30's) about a year ago, and even went as far as to ask her out on a date. she declined, but still it bothers me that he had feelings for her at one point. he sees her all the time, because he is very involved in ministry, and is on one of her ministrys. he says that he no longer has any feelings for her, that im the only one, but i cannot seem to get over these feelings, and it still continues to bother me that he sees her all of the time. I've talked to him about it, and he assures me he's over her, but I'm not too sure... any advice please? Thank you,

LoverofJc

Did he ask her out while you were dating him? Or was this before you two started dating?

If this happened before you guys started dating, I can't see a problem. By the time a guy turns 25 he's hopefully asked a few girls out. He asked her for a date, not her hand in marriage. Shouldn't be a big deal.

Now if he asked her out while you guys were already dating, you might have reason for concern.

Have you asked him about her - I presume that you have but you need to be honest about your feelings here. If he truly does not know what is in your heart, then he can and probably will trivialize it, which hurts you. I suspect that there is not an issue, especially if as bitbucket says it was before you two were dating. The timing is important here. If you two were not together yet, then it is nothing more than a guy looking for a companion, being rejected, and moving on. If you were together, and committed to each other in some way, then his asking her out is a bad omen and I would be very very careful.

Best of luck. And pay attention to all the wisdom on this site, I wish I had found it before my marriage had got into trouble and not after.