Well... wh called me at work after the school called about additional fees thata have to be paid before son graduates. I said you can leave the message with the kids or Mom. He went on about how he is going to come to the graduation, he is coming Saturday and Sunday to get the boys. How he said he is moving into his own place- A one bedroom for himself by himself no room for anyone else- his words not mine. That he is not going to be with anyone he wants to be alone, travel alone, that when people see him they say hey Tommie why are you always by yourself and not with your family.
That he is not ready to save /work on our marraige yet.... That we will be friends. He will be there for me- I cant tell him when he can or cant see kids ect.
That the reason he hasnt come back yet is he dosent love me in that way anymore (sexually). He dosent want anyone anymore. That he has explained that his feelings had changed for me after 24 years. That it is his fault. The reason he dosent go to counseling .... he dosent want to because if you -dont feel that way about a person your not ready to work on it. That when he moves (end of this month) that should show me that he is trying... even if that means he's not moving right back home. That he has a lot of places he can move but it's for one person. He needs time to think and he dosent want anyone now. That had he known that I wasnt able to deal with the situation and let him work his feelings out things could be smoother insted of forcing him. - I know he dosent like the fence and the cake now....He said you made it clear this is how you wanted it no contact unless i leave ow- well im moving but not back to the house.

Winter:

Listen to me when I say that you cannot cannot take seriously anything that he has to say. It's standard WS talk..BLAH..BLAH..BLAH...

He is trying to gain control over you again and have it his way.

It was hard but I learned to let it go in one ear and out the other.

You listen to him far too long in order to be DARK, Winter.

It's really important to GUARD YOUR HEART from him right now.

You need that intermediary.

What I did was to NOT answer my office phone. It always went to voicemail. If you cannot do this, then hang up if it is him on the other line.

Change your home phone number and your cell number.

I made it extremely, extremely difficult for my H to reach me during PLAN B.

You want him to miss you, Winter.

As long as he can get in touch with you, he can get his FIX whether it is to express his anger or not.

Understand?

DARKNESS may very well bring this affair to an end.

WE KNOW THIS. HE DOES NOT. HE IS CLUELESS. THIS IS YOUR PLAN. HE DOES NOT HAVE A PLAN except to keep you hanging on to him, having to share him with the others for as long as possible...

ISN'T THAT YUCKY?

I think he saw Look Who's Talking the other night, too. Trouble is, he doesn't get that the bio dad in that movie is the BAD guy and not to look up to/copy him.

I cant tell who calls at work we dont have caller ID yet so i cant let the calls rollover (they monitor). I said bye Tommie... I understand and am dark, dark.......

mimi, so in Plan B, how long did you stay there? If you got back together with H, there had to be some point when you opened the door. How long?

bump up

Winterkisses, Mimi's sig lines said she stayed in Plan B for 3 months.

Does the office phone come straiht to you? If not, just tell the receptionist you will not take calls from him or anyone who does not indentify himself.

Hang in there

I think ... not...

Winter--I got one of those calls, and also emails. WS always want to be friends, that way they don't look bad and they can justify their actions, whether they are alone or with OW/OM.
Hang in there you are doing whats best for you and hopefully to save your marriage.