Hi, I'm new to the Fourm, I'm really glad that I came across it. Well I've been engaged for about 4 months, my FI and I have been dating for 2 and have lived together for 9 months or so.
We've had a rough start to the engagement, with conflicts about the date and money. We finally decided to get married next summer sometime and planned a budjet. The thing is I don't think he's ready for marriage, the talk of having kids,settling down scares him. He says he's ready for it, but I don't feel like he is.He's still in the mode of "Me" while i'm in the mode of "US" I love him and I know he loves me but not on the same page. I want a Family, a house the "american dream" and it doesn't seem like he does..he doesn't even know what he wants. I dont' know what to do..He doesn't even want to ever talk about the wedding like simple things about colors, location drives him away..I asked him the other day if he wants to marry me and he told me yes, he'd marry me tomorrow if he could but why is he acting like a stranger to the idea of a REAL future? am I pressuring him?
Kim [color:"black"] [/color]

Just want to clarify - you're together for 2 years or 11 months??

2 years.

Kim, I do hope you see that something just ain't right here. This shouldn't be a time filled with reservations and questions. That being said, you cannot realistically expect things to change either before or after the wedding. Once you get married, for example, you can't expect him to all of a sudden want children. I think you'd be very wise to invest in some pre-marital counseling to "safely" work through these issues. Otherwise, one or both of you may be trapped in a bad situation down the road.

Then he is not ready to marry.