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#1677887 06/10/06 11:17 AM
Joined: Jun 2006
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I think my w is having an internet / phone emotional affair. How do I apply plan A? This is harder to prove than a phys affair. She says they are just friends, and denys that it is a big deal. I have circumstantial evidence...end up saying things like...it's not "normal" for 2 married people to call each other 3 times a day, etc. Any advice on how to proceed and apply plan A is appreciated.

joeyr #1677888 06/10/06 12:17 PM
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You need more information. Check out the "Spying 101" link in my signature block and also the link to an outline of how to organize a marital recovery.

You might invest in the book Not "Just Friends" written by Shirley P. Glass, Ph.D. The title says it all. I doubt your wife is ready to read it, but it'll give you an insight into the problem and some ammunition for discussions.

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longhorn...thanks for the advice! I'm trying not to turn to spying, but I'm sure a bunch of you would advise it, having been burned.

joeyr #1677890 06/10/06 10:49 PM
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Intelligence gathering is an honorable pastime and it's extrememly useful in fighting the alien being your wife has become. When you've had enough and you're serious about breaking up the adultery, come back and all of us at MB will be here to support you, okay?

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Longhorn....that might have been just the kick in the [censored] that I need. Thank you very much!!

joeyr #1677892 06/11/06 04:12 PM
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Then get busy, mister. Read the thread linked to in my signature block on how to organize a marital recovery plan, read about snooping, and then start to work devising a recovery plan tailored specifically to your situation.

When you're ready, MB folks will need a more detailed account of what you're facing in order to advise you properly. For instance, how did your wayward wife meet the other man, are you all in the same church group or other organization, where the other man lives, whether he's married or not, has family known to you, etc., etc.

Good on you for getting proactive, Joey. No problem in the history of mankind has ever gotten better by ignoring it and hoping it will go away.

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An emotional affair can wreck your marriage. Just because they haven't dropped trou doesn't mean it's not an affair.
And like Longhorn said, don't let on how you know what you know.

Joined: Oct 2005
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In a of of ways, EA's are worse than PA's - at least they are harder to break up anyway when there is an emotional bond. Don't be fooled. Follow Longhorn's excellent advice.


Me: 56 (FBS) Wife: 55 (FWW)
D-Day August 2005
Married 11/1982 3 Sons 27,25,23
Empty Nesters.
Fully Recovered.

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