I was given this by a friend who knows my sitch. I think I'll frame it!

Letting Go
To let go doesn't mean to stop caring, it means I can't do it for someone else.
To let go is not to cut myself off, it's the realization that I don't control another.
To let go is not to enable but to to allow learning from natural consequences.
To let go is to admit powerlessness, which means the outcome is not in my hands.
To let go is not to try to change or blame another, I can only change myself.
To let go is not to care for but to care about.
To let go is not to fix but to be supportive.
To let go is not to judge but to to allow another to be a human being.
To let go is not to be in the middle arranging all outcomes but to allow others to affect their own outcomes.
To let go is not to be protective, it is to permit another to face reality.
To let go is not to deny but to accept.
To let go is not to nag, scold, or argue but to search out my own shortcomings and to correct them.
To let go is not to adjust everything to my desires but to take each day as it comes and to cherish the moment.
To let go is not to criticize and regulate anyone but to try to become what I dream I can be.
To let go is not to regret the past but to grow and live for the future.
To let go is to fear less and love more.

this is what my wife wants of me, guess ill show this to her if she comes home

Very naive question maybe, but when a spouse says I have my friends who I want to hang out with and I will not give up these friends even if they make you uncomfortable, does one not judge, does one allow the spouse to be human???

Really trying to figure out what is okay and what is not okay...

Basically trying to let go, but obviously looking for every excuse not to...

Sounds like an issue that needs the impartiality of a counselor. Why do the friends bother you? If the reason seems legitimate, the spouse should consider giving them up.

Shoot - I think this is a thread jack, but we have been to an MC and she questioned his "friends" (her name is Traci)... He refuses to give up his friendship for the sake of his marriage - I asked him to and he said no..

The friend bothers me b/c he has lied to me to be with her, tey talk all the time and she cries about her problems to my H - while I am sitting at home raising our DD...

So--- no what..??

Allison, that is not allowing one to be human. Allowing them to be human would be recognizing that we all make mistakes.

Your husband has placed this other woman over you. He has also lied to you to be with her. This is a problem. Don't know if you have a thread on this board. If you don't, why don't you start one?
Good luck.
S.

Thanks shattered, I do have a thread, right under this one, this morning cuz I need some advice on stuff, but thanks for your post above... I am seeing H's true colors more and more often... Not very pretty if you ask me...

Thanks and good luck to you as well...

Alison