I told my kids to think about what they wanted to get their dad for Father's Day. They replied that OW (soon to be wife) had already taken care of it. Is this normal? Do I say anything either to x or to kids?

BTW, OW does have a baby w/X and this is their first Father's Day. It bothers me that she included my children but maybe I am being unreasonable?

Thanks to everyone.

An OW..overstepping? NEVER!

Look..respect or consideration for you has never ever been on OWs menu and now that THEY are the couple and YOU are the eX..

You see what I'm saying?

I see what you're saying, Noodle. My oldest child said that OW bought the present w/her own money. I have never said anything to kids about OW either positive or negative but this was more than I could handle. I said that OW doesn't have any money. The child said, "yes she does, how else can she buy the things for us that she always buys?" I should have dropped it there but I said that OW uses Daddy's money to buy those things.

Oldest protested and I said "look, we don't need to argue about this, but OW did not go to college and she doesn't have a job, ergo ,she doesn't have any money."

I dropped the subject about the FD gift. Ex got OW to get me a MD gift. She bought me a Xmas present too. I'll just get a card for the children to sign. I'll tell X why they didn't get him a gift and leave it at that.

I would get along fine w/x except that OW and OC are in the picture. OW is apparently pretty smug because she won. What she doesn't know is that her "prize" has been over here more than once since he left asking me to let him come back. Thanks but no thanks. She can have him. Unfortunately, now she's after the kids and it seems to be working.

I was not an OW, but am a step mom. And before my H and I were ever married, I was the one who took the kids to shop for Father's day and helped them make cards, etc.

In our case, it's not out of malice or smugness or winning or control or anything like that ... it's just about celebrating the holiday with our family and doing something special for my H, etc. Our view was that there is no reason to think that Ex would want to do anything nice for H -- that was the kids' and my job.

Our unofficial setup is that each parent and family takes care of themselves. We don't take the kids to buy mother's day or christmas or birthday presents for Ex -- her mother or SO will do that. And our family takes the kids to get gifts for our side. Every once in a while, the kids will find something that they really want to get for her or a relative on her side, and of course we'll give them the money for it. But we don't go specifically shopping for gifts for them.

This is the typical setup for all of the step-families that I know. Do you really want to have to be involved in celebrations and gifts for your Ex?

I don't think this is the issue Ami.

I suspect that what she DOESN'T want is for vile OW to have these intimacies with her children.

Your situation is entirely different.