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#1681116 06/14/06 05:58 PM
Joined: Jul 2005
Posts: 215
C
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???? please share?

Please understand that when someone talks about the rights of the OC on this board they are talking about those rights in conjuction with the rights of the COM

What EXCACTLY IS SO HARD TO UNDERSTAND ABOUT THAT?


BW -33 (Me)
WH-38
M- 4 years/together 10
OC (girl) born 03/03
D-Day 08/02

True friends stab you in the front - Oscar Wilde
Joined: Nov 2000
Posts: 2,342
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Hey Caroline... Lemonman probably hasn't suffered an 18 year penalty that cost thousands of dollars from a human error. Sex does not equal wanting a baby... take it from me, married 32 years, can you imagine????

Ever hear the song "Golddigger"? It speaks volumes about unsavory women who birth a baby and in this day and age can collect thousands if not millions (depending on the bio dad) for keeping an unwanted baby..... perhaps Lem was one, huh?

Aside from the shame/pain.....the money shelled out is atrocious for many here. Many end a marriage from money exhaustion to the golddigger.

I'm sure we'll hear his plea about fatherless kids.

Carolyn and others, not our problem,,,,, we were here first and to incorporate another woman's child into an ages old marriages is to me, ludicrous.

Ok, back to regularly scheduled problems.


Married 3-02-74
D-day 11-13-00
Recovered very well now~
N/C
Me and H both 55
1 beautiful granddaughter, a wonderful son, and daughter-in-law...(like a daughter~)

God answers all prayers in His own way...in His own time.
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Lem

marriage needs to be fixed first

like bleeders need to be stopped before closing the wound

first things first

cannot talk "what about OC?"

when the marriage is bleeding out

Pep

Joined: Jul 2004
Posts: 11,539
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I love you, Pepperband!

cannot talk "what about OC?"

when the marriage is bleeding out


Faith

me: FWW/BS 52 H: FWH/BS 49
DS 30
DD 21
DS 15
OCDS 8
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Posts: 3,179
L
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Quote
Lemonman probably hasn't suffered an 18 year penalty that cost thousands of dollars from a human error.

Well perhaps not...but I have committed "human error" that has cost at least 2 people their lives. So while, I don't personally know what it feels like to have the 18 year financial penalty you and your husband have SOLELY because of his choices and actions, I kind of understand. Sheesh, you can at least get out of jail free in 14 more years...AND you can at anytime willingly leave your husband and wash your hands from his choices. SO, I wouldn't always be so quick to judge a book. We all have our crosses to bear.

Goodluck

Lem


Some people just don't get it, they don't get it that they don't get it.

I had the right to remain silent.......but I didn't have the ability.
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Quote
Lem

marriage needs to be fixed first

like bleeders need to be stopped before closing the wound

first things first

cannot talk "what about OC?"

when the marriage is bleeding out

Pep

Pep, fair enough....I can understand the situation when viewed that way. I am a little slow, but trying.

Lem


Some people just don't get it, they don't get it that they don't get it.

I had the right to remain silent.......but I didn't have the ability.
Joined: Oct 2000
Posts: 35,996
P
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Lem

you're not slow

you simply were denied the experience of marital recovery ...

putting pressure on a betrayed spouse to accept the OC when they are still reeling from the shock of infidelity is cruel

the OC issue is important, for sure

think of the marriage as the nest blown apart by a gale force wind of infidelity ... you cannot bring in the extra chick until the nest is ready

build the foundation first
then bring on the "add on"

Pep <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

PS ... thank you for saving lives <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />


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