Gosh, I didn't see that you had written me back last night, Lem. They did an MRI this morning and have finished the echocardiogram an hour ago. Should be hearing more soon.

She does have underlying CV issues... she's taking lipitor and who knows what else. She's had very high triglycerides in the past and a family history of diabetes. Plus, she smokes and is under tremendous stress b/c of her living sitch. She's been out of work on disability for a over a year due to chronic pain and had back surgery in October.

Found out today that she had put a pain patch on a couple of her fingers Tuesday night (she was complaining of a sore spot on her finger), at best she'll lose the feeling in them, at worst, she'll lose them. The BF said she's "really been out of it." I swear, it's criminal neglect on his part for not getting her to the doc sooner. (She refuses to call an ambulance b/c of finances).

From what I've been told, she's only on the vent because of the sedation they have her under. She's conscious and can hear and see. Just can't move. One med for the BP. My aunt will be there with her tomorrow afternoon. I'm preparing for it now and trying to figure out how to get there, b/c my two younger bros understandably want to go. I can't afford to fly us all out there, gas/food will be a serious stretch, and the boys are in dire financial straits.

We'll think of something...

Well, good news... the MRI was OK. They didn't find anything wrong with her brain. With the echocardiogram, they found bacteria, but luckily no embolism.

<img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" /> prayer answered!

Yes indeed. My aunt said something about the docs may have to do some surgery on her heart to remove the bacteria. But I think she's going to be OK... I am anxiously waiting for 4 p.m. to roll around, b/c that's when my aunt will get there.

Thank you all for your prayers.

SadMommy,

I know you are in Atlanta, where is your Mom? I know you are uncomfortable leaving DD with your WH. We have a very wide reaching MB family who may be willing to reach out and help if you tell us what help you need. I will be the first to ante-up. I am in Houston and have family in Chicago and Cleveland. If your Mom is in either of those places, you could bring DD with you and we would provide a babysitter for you so you could tend to your mother.

Regards,

BB

That is so nice, Brit. Mom's in Harrisburg, PA. The plan is, if I have to leave quickly, DD will stay here with WH. If I have some time to plan, as in, if Mom is conscious, DD will come with me to see her grandma.

I'll know more this afternoon/evening when my aunt gets there. I called the hospital at lunchtime and found out she's on dialysis, which is scary. But the nurse said she's doing well with breathing. She's getting a very low amount of oxygen from the vent and for every 10 breaths from the vent, she's breathing a couple on her own, which is good. The nurse said they're leaving the vent in place just in case, b/c she has the potential to get "really sick." She may end up having surgery to replace the heart valve that's affected.

I think I would leave daughter with WH and go. It will be difficult to see much of your mom with a baby.

When my boy's father was in ICU with heart problems, I had no one to watch them. It was extremely stressful trying to visit their father and take care of them.

Mom,

I know there is a lot of pressure on u and your brothers right now to know what t/d. Trust your heart and let the rest take care of business. Yep, it's time the WS act human and help you get to see your mom. Can't he give you some financial support to get there? Even if that means the OW won't get her 'bad hair' done for a couple of months. LOL!!! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/wink.gif" alt="" />

If u all can't go, then at the very least, you kids should pull together and send 1 or 2 up there. The other one stays back and takes care of all the family business. Do this as a group, divy up the workload.

take care,
L.

You would think he would do the decent thing and at least offer to help. But this is the guy who wouldn't even give me a little bit of his Christmas bonus to help cover scheduled car maintenance (his name is on the car, btw). I took the car to get checked out today because it had a low tire and ended up having to buy two new tires at a cost of $250. I'm just going to have charge up the credit card to get there.

The plan is, when my aunt gets there and talks to the docs and gets a real sense of the situation, then we're going to decide on when to go. Could be tonight, could be tomorrow morning. But we will be driving up there. I'm already packed. The car is cleaned out, and I went and bought snacks/drinks for the trip. DD is packed for a week at Daddy's.

And I'm afraid it will end up being just two of us going up there. Bro1 just got a new job and doesn't know how to reach anyone on the weekend, and if he doesn't show up on Monday, he'd lose the job, which he cannot afford to lose. So it'll be me and Bro2, looks like.

Aunt missed her flight by 2 minutes this morning, and then the one she got required a switch that got cancelled, so she's scheduled to land in about 20 minutes.

When she was getting ready to board the plane, the hospital called her and asked if there were any objections to Mom getting a blood transfusion.

I'm trying to prepare myself for seeing her.... I can remember how upset I was when my Dad had a heart attack and I saw him hooked up to IVs. This is way worse... ventilator, monitors and IVs galore. Please, God, help Bro2 and me get there safely and give us the strength we need to support our Mom!

Drive safely. You are in my prayers

Prayer to you and your mom. I know how you feel about seeing her. I saw my boy's dad after emergency open heart surgery, and nearly fainted. He looked HORRIBLE.

I think you are doing the right thing by going soon.

Thanks, you guys! I'm looking it up on Mapquest... sheesh, close to 700 miles.

Update... the drive wasn't too bad. I drove the whole way. Took us just under 11 hours.

Bro2 and I are here until Thursday. Bro1 is flying up here tomorrow afternoon.

It is so scary seeing my mom like this. Still on the ventilator and under sedation,although they have dropped it down a little, which means she can nod and shake her head, and open her eyes. She's been trying to talk to us, too. I can tell she's in a lot of pain, from the fibromyalgia flaring up, her back... plus she is so swollen with fluid that just about any touch hurts her.

The docs say she's got infarctions in parts of her spleen, liver and kidneys. Although she's off dialysis now. Plus, she may lose a couple fingers on her left hand from where the infection has blocked blood vessels... not from the pain patch.

An echocardiogram yesterday showed some improvement in her heart function, which is encouraging. The docs are saying she's going to need 6 weeks of IV antibiotics, and probably surgery to replace her aortic valve. They haven't done a new MRI on her brain to make sure it's still OK... we're a little worried about that.

All in all, this is so extremely stressful. It's so hard to see Mom like this. And what's worse, and selfish, is that it really makes me miss H. He was always so comforting when bad things were happening... a rock for me. Not anymore.

Yesterday, I called the sitter to check on DD, and she said that WH dropped her off at 6:30 and said he'd be there at 5. But he gets off at 3. Maybe that means he's respecting my wishes and having his OW time without DD around... It's still annoying, though. I miss DD terribly. He's put me on speakerphone for her, and she cries when she hears me.

Well, we got back home around midnight last night. I'm very tired. WH brought DD over at 6:30, but I took her to the sitter for a few hours so I could clean the house and decompress. Mom's still under sedation in ICU... they're hoping to start weaning her off the sedation and ventilator soon.

Yet another update. Mom had another MRI of her brain and was supposed to have a CT scan of her abdomen, since she's so bloated and having so much belly pain. DOn't know the results yet.

She's scheduled for heart surgery first thing Monday. They're going to try to remove the growth on her aortic valve but will most likely end up replacing it with an artificial one. They think having her heart fixed will hasten her recovery, which makes sense.

Her nurse today was apparently really cool. When my aunt came to the room today, the nurse told her, "Someone is here with her (Mom), watching over her and talking to her. I felt a presence." I don't know how many of you believe in psychic stuff, but it has been said that my mom has a gift. I don't know how much of that I believe, but I like to think about Grandma and Grandpa and, yes, even Dad (who died in Jan 04), keeping my mom company in her hospital room. Mom is off the sedative, but they have upped her pain med considerably, double what it was when I got there Sunday night.

I hope everything goes well for your mom. Also sorry about your divorce. It seems like nothing is going well for you right now. Stay strong, and know that it won't last forever.

Thank you, Believer. True, things are really stinking right now... the news of XH/OW's wedding plans, the divorce, the fact that the real estate auction didn't work, Mom's crisis... I'm trying to focus on the light at the end of the tunnel, but it's not easy right now.

I had a period of my life where everything went wrong. It seemed like it went on and on and on. My kids dad had a heart attack, surgery, couldn't work, money problems, marriage problems, etc.

This too will pass, but I know how difficult it is. I hope you will do something nice for yourself.

my heart goes out to you and youll be in prayers often,hope everthing will be ok

Thank you, believer. I guess the old cliche is true... when it rains, it pours!

I just keep repeating to myself the idea that God has a plan even I don't understand it, that everything happens the way it's supposed to...