Hi everyone,

Well since I tired and could not get the marriage to work we are on the last stages of finalizing our settlement agreement. We are down to 2 items that we have different opinions on.

One child support and alimony support - my montly amount is much higher than his attorneys - for the life on me I cannot figure out where his attorney came up with the figure. I called mine and talked to his paralegal and she could not the other attorneys numbers at all.

Another is a tax issue that I may forgo to get this over with.

Well, I talked to my STBXH this morning and said hey can your attorney call mine and and bug him so we can finish this up. Mine is much busier than his and I just want this done. They did final papers and I said that as long as the numbers were correct then we should be good.

My STBX tells me well that is all I can afford a month and if the number goes up we are going to have to sell the house. I am so upset. I have been sitting on the house for 6 months because HE wanted it. Then at the last minute he can just change his mind. I mean he is approved for the loan ready to go and now he might pull out! I want to move on with my life and here he is stalling it again.

I am so tired of him having all the power. I just want to move and move on with my life and start fresh and he keeps pulling this.

I am soooo frustrated it does not seem fair at all.

Well, for what it's worth, I suggest just selling the house, so both of you are clear and free.

I'm in a similar situation. Originally, I wanted the house. Then I moved out, so my ex-wife wouldn't interfere with my parenting time. Now, she wants the house. I no longer want it. However, she wants the house to be given to her. We have an official appraisal, but she probably thinks it's too high.

In order to avoid either of us squabbling about the price being offered to the other, I'm proposing that it be sold to a 3rd party at a price both of us will agree upon.

Just sell it on the market and move on.

Thanks - I know that would solve the problem. But houses in our area are sitting on the market for months so now if we list it, it will probably be almost 6 months from now for it to be sold.

We have already agreed on a price for him so there is no issue with that. Now if he forces a sale my daughter will have to change schools that was one of the reasons I let him have it is I did not have to worry about my daughter changing schools based on using the current address.

Knowing him it is probably just a ploy to get me to settle for the child support amount, but I feel it is really low, and he is not doing anything extra or even doing his time with the children. If he was I would probably not care about the amount.

The thing is I have never wanted the home and told him that and if he does not want it I want it listed this was months ago. Now when he realizes what he monthly obligation to me is going to be he has a problem with the house.

Sorry I am just fed up and frustrated today and on top of it he is pulling his sad mood with me on how much he misses the children and everything. I mean he chose the divorce and now I am supposed to feel sorry for him because he is in the situation he chose.

Thanks for letting me vent.

Really? well, that's a negotiating point to him. I waited a long time for X to refinance the house - 18 months. And he kept trying to renegotiate the price. He was at 75% of my net value (market value less realtor fees).
He didnt' close on the house until 3 months post divorce.
It was ******. I got my house because one of my divorce support group friends lent me the money.

Get it in writing and get all you can. Not maliciously, but you will be nickel and dimed like we all are. Most moms pick up the incidental costs, school trips, backpacks, back to school supplies, sports, dance classes etc.
You will pay for it all (unless your X is really nice).

That's what it comes down to at this point. My WH is playing passive aggressive power games. He disagreed with 3 things in the very fair settlement I offered him. I've backed off on 2 and have indicated that I will negotiate on 3rd. He doesn't want to pay DD's Sr private school tuition of about $9,000 (would have been free if he had not lost his job @ school due to A). I suggested that he could take on more debt instead, but never discussed in detail. Yesterday, I got email from my lawyer indicating that he had made the changes that me and WH had "agreed upon" per WH's lawyer. The changes are less than 1/3 $ of DD's tuition, and WH refuses to answer my calls or return any messages. I'd rather have all 300lbs of him yelling in my face than deal with these childish games.

Thanks for the support - I am just tired of the games - we are still dealing with child support and alimony issues also. My STBXH attorney has come up with a figure about 300 less than it should be - cannot figure out why, unless he is not using his current salary. I would really not care about the money..IF...my H was taking the children on a regualr basis, but he is not they are with me the majority of the time...which I love...but his CS is reduced by the time he is supposed to be spending with them.

He just got the house appraised for his loan he is ready to go and he tells me what the appraisal was and I was like OK, I think it is low, because a house on our street really similar to our just sold like two weeks ago and sold for more than our house is supposively worth and our home is larger. Of course he may have said it for me to say oh, I will lower the price. He is already paying less than the appraisal so I am not going any lower at all.

I am also tired of all the threats whenever he gets mad it is I am taking you to court for more custody of the children. From now on my attitude is do what you have to do.

Just worn out over the entire process and I want it over. Going to try to get my attorney to finish it up.

On a brighter note, found a house for me - so...hopefully everything will go through so I can purchase this one. Keeping my fingers crossed.

Thanks.

Back up. You took his refi appraisal as the selling price.
STOP NOW!
Don't cheat yourself out of money. The appraisals always come in below the market price. You should get 3 realtors to come to your home and give you a market value. Then, you average the 3 prices. Take 6% off of that number for realtor fees and misc. closing costs, and that should be the value at which he cashes you out.
Now, I'm assuming you have equity in the home and that you will get some of this. If it's all debt, it doesn't really matter.
Didn't your lawyer advise you on the purchase price of the home. Oh My God!
Do some research here. Go to www.realtor.com and find comparable homes in the area. Get moving - now!

I did that to come up with the original price. I took a market analysis with a realtor and then took 6% off the price.

This was done a couple of months ago and of course what my STBX is going to argue is that the market has turned down and the price has dropped, but I really do not care at all.

So know he has this done and he is upset because he thougtht I was going to give him a bargain.

Honestly, I would be willing to lose like 5,000 on the deal to get it over with. Houses in our market are not moving at all - so I am also taking into consideration selling it to a 3rd party will take 6 months and I will have to come up with about 1/2 the costs a month.

Oh, well I decided I am not giving the price is the price and he can live with it or pay more over time. The ball is in his court.

Thanks for your concern.

I was worried. Just don't disclose your numbers too much.
As I said, my X said the same thing. The market changed, etc.
It is better being a single parent in some areas. The stress level has dropped significantly.

Thanks for your concern. My X I think just says things to get me going. Kind of interesting though is he mentioned the apprisial and nothing else since then. My guess it came back a little higher than he was telling me.

No biggie....off to my next battle - child support and alimony amounts, his are about 300 too low. Of course he will freak at having to pay more, but he does not pay for anything at all extra and he does not take them at all.

I agree I am looking forward to the decreased stress level. I just want to be happy again and away from his comments. Brought the children back today and had to make a comment to me about my appearance - why? to get me going because he is not happy with himself.

Thanks.