I'm meeting with my in-laws tonight at 5:45pm. I'm so scared because I don't know how they are going to react. My WH told me that his parents didn't want to meet with me if I was going to "air out his dirty laundry." Funny because his mom never told me that. WH should have thought about it before sleeping with OW! He's still in the A too! Is WH kidding? Of course, I'm exposing him. I've protected him for too long and it got me nowhere!

I'm scared that WH is going to retaliate against me. I'm also scared that my in-laws will kick me out. What the best way to communicate out of love?

Help!

Be loving and humble.

Admit your failures in the marriage.

Advocate for the marriage and not against your H.

Does your H know you're meeting with them? If so, expect for him to have made a pre-emptive strike of sorts by feeding his parents bum dope about you, the marriage, whatever else he can say as a distraction.

Be calm and respectful - even if they kick you out.

What evidence will you share with them?

WAT

I don't know if WH knows about this meeting. I wasn't going to tell him. I'm sure he does because his mom tells him everything. I'm assuming he won't have the courage to be there, although I'm sure he's feeding his parents lies to protect his reputation and "good son" image. It really ticks me off. This was not the man I married. Why does our M have to come down to this?

Evidence to share: love letter from OW, cell phone history, credit card bills showing hotel rooms, voicemail messages from OW...

It's sad that the evidence keeps growing.

I'll be praying that the in-laws will let me speak. I will need to remain calm because my emotions have been uncontrollable recently. Sigh...

Practice ahead of time. Know what you're going to say, keep it brief and gentle, and ask for their help in saving the marriage.

Have simple, short phrases ready to go so that you won't get flustered trying to come up with a response.

Have some totally unrelated, fun, happy images to call to mind -- like a vacation or silly pet trick, etc. -- so you can try to think about that if you start to cry or get too emotional. That wil help you regain your composure.

Good luck. You're absolutely doing the right thing.

R2W, I'd take along just a couple of very powerful pieces of evidence. The credit card receipts for the hotel rooms and one other should do nicely. You can make reference to other "irrefutable" evidence you've gathered that you don't want to show them. The reason I wouldn't take everything you have is so you won't be telling WH exactly how much, and exactly what proof you have. If he knows, he'll find ways to improve his deceitfulness from that point on.

BTW, you have these items stored in a place where your WH can never get to them, right? Don't bank on him being honorable enough not to remove/destroy them if he finds them in the house somewhere.

I don't know your relationship with your in-laws but be wary of expecting too much from them. Sometimes, in-laws will become a betrayed spouse's greatest allies but these are the exception rather than the rule. Usually, the old saw about, "blood is thicker than..." applies. I'm hoping your experience with your in-laws will be a good one.

Hang in there. The road's about to get rocky.

I agree with Longhorn that you shouldn't expect too much from in-laws. My MIL actually supports my wife's affair as a "pursuit of passion and romance." Of course my MIL is on her third marriage and I am my wife's third husband, so these folks know all about divorce.