Tonite we were talking, WH was saying the times he was spending $400 a week he says he was skipping work and going to the bar spending that money playing pool with his co worker and drinking during the day.Though back then he told me he had spent it in gas....lol. Then he tells me he swears on our new g-daughters life he did`nt have sex with his friend.But he did say he did want to have sex with her like a guy would looking at a model,or a swimsuit issue girl.Hmmmmmmmmm.I notice as I ask more questions calmly he starts getting angry with me. I had pin pointed that out to him many times before how he gets angry with me when I ask questions, he says because I have already told you before. I said but you keep giving me different answers.Also notice he can`t sit and answer those questions he has to get up out of the chair.Hmmmmmmmmm.He says he feels like he`s in the hot seat. Poor baby.WH has stopped going to MC did`nt tell me about it till he canceled the appointment. He says she is just sucking up the insurance money. I had also asked him who was on our bike he said I had no one on our bike. My brother had seen him with a chick on the back of it, brother said WH had put his head down. Hubby said he was in that spot on the same day but that HE did`nt have anyone on it. WH said I was the only one on it.Hmmmm I was at work that day. WH told his woman friend that it was a friend from the neighborhood he had on the bike. Boy he did`nt evn want to admit to her who he had on the bike. Don`t know why he even told her about it. I don`t know us BS even tolerate this bull, we work so hard to mend our marriage. I asked him what are you afraid of WH says nothing.I said for the sake of us just come clean and we can go on, that I can deal better with the truth.Guess he does`nt think I can.

Well the rings are off and in the garbage knew that was`nt gonna last long. I wanna thank all those who gave me some feedback. Good luck to all the better spouses your gonna need it. God Bless




MY LINK: www.marriagebuilders.com/ubbt/showf...983109&fpart=&PHPSESSID=

WH took the rings out of the garbage, the next day he handed me a rose with my ring on it. I told him I could`nt wear it, there were tears in his eyes,I noticed he had his on,I layed mine on the table. I told him there is no reason for you to get angry with me at all. WH still insists he innocent. I told him Im tired of not sleeping well, having this stuff pop up in my head all the time. I did`nt ask for all this. I try to push the thoughts out of my head.Am I going to have to wait for years till he even tells me anything of the truth? Is this what us BS have to deal with in trying to make our marriages work? It just seems to be so phoney us not LB and I told him that. Cause I really know how he is and how he has been through the years. Gosh does anyone else feel this way?

can you go to the OW for some answers...

knowing what you will get holds great potential to NOT be truth...

can you...

would that shake him up enough....

what is the exact ABUSE you keep referring to...

and you know you CAN LB..we all can..
but it will divert from the issue of him not talking to you...

ARK

For years WH had been physically and mentally abusive to me when drinking, he had went to domestic abuse classes ect for 2 years, this was long ago he is not that way now but he did get more abusive I know now when seeing his so called friend.


I did go to OW woman and did speak to her she is covering up some and will admit some. WH did`nt show any emotion when I told him I was speaking to her and going over her house, in fact he would say go ask her, and then times he would say she is lying.

And yes I know we all can LB but we are trying and I know HE really is trying hard, this he has never done in 25 years. Ya know I really think he has fallen in love with me after all these years I really do. Funny. Its sad to think and know I was his second choice. She was always in his heart.

I just don`t know maybe its me, yesterday I said I would like to go to town and walk and sit at an outside cafe. he says ok.
he falls asleep on the couch for awhile wakes up a couple hours later I thought he was going to the bathroom. He never came back in the living room so I knew he went to the bedroom to sleep more, never saying anything to me. So there I sit four 3 mores hours by myself Gosh Im tired of being by myself have been for years alone. So I went over to my sis in-laws to pass the time. Lo and behold guess who comes over there! Well I thought we were going to work and do things together from now on we never did in the past. So I go home and asked him what happened thought we were going to town. We are sitting outside and he asks me if I want coffee so he goes in the house SO I thought to make it, I go in there and hes doin dishes not making coffee. Guess he did`nt want to talk about anything. I really think he did it on purpose it really is`nt something he likes to to but I thought well its cheap and we can be together in stead of sitting here at home looking at the four walls. So he sabotaged that.Not the first time. Then today we had to drop off a cell phone at my sis house to which he says we are just dopping it off but I said at least we should have a cup of coffee and not be rude. His usual time there is about 10 min in all of 31 years. So he talking with my brother about work and I and my sisters start playing a card game. Lo and behold he gets up and starts walking about the room so I know thats my que to leave, well now Im really pi$$ed now because of last nite and now this! So when we are on our way home, I say ya know people will usually look for someone else to do things with them if their spouse does`nt. He knew where I was coming from. He says ah heck they were`nt doing anything but playin a game. Its has always been like this but let me tell you if there woulda been beer, ect he would have stayed. So I say well sweety what did you and Linda do at her house, a word he does`nt say. So right now hes out in the garage and I`m here on my putter. Just like it used to be. Does anyone elses spouse have a habit of doing this?

Just an update. We are doing fine just as long as I don`t bring up friend, ect. I guess I`ll find the right time to ask more questions. Still would like to know the truth of where
$9000 went. OW has not called so don`t know if she did what she wanted to do(go to the Lord).

Well I`ve been drinkin, so unlike me. This stuff won`t leave my head. How much must us BS endure? We give our lives to someone and they abuse it. I`ve loved this man for 31 years and it hurts so bad that he has done this to us. he said it was never me and so I dont understand I guess why he did this to us, just for a crush.

Been telling H the 21st is our Anniversary. We have never celebrated one ever. So not a word today from him. I guess I should feel lucky instead of being a bit down. Things are better than what they used to be in all these years I guess.AS long as we keep the little secrets hidden under the carpet like he likes them.I mean really what is the price for trying to keep your marriage for us BS?

I don`t know maybe its me, but latley we have been doing very well except if I try to get affectionate with my hubby he makes up some type of excuse not to, it may be just a kiss something little like that, he pushes me away or makes up some excuse. In the past years he had always done this to me, and now hes doing ti again. I would hate to think he is cheating on me again he is coming home on time, ect. But i just don`t know, if I ask him whats wrong he says he`s tired. I have never ever turned my H down for anything ever.I don`t know it just bothers me so.

I think I would start doing things by myself, and getting my own life. He needs to get on board. Invite him, and if there is no response, go do it on your own.

Thats just it I have always done things by myself even with my children when they were young, he always had some excuse bu he always found time for his friends ect. He would always tell me a family that plays together stays together but he never followed his own advice.
I will tell him today and I don`t really care how he likes it that I WILL no longer take his rejection and I will seek what I need elsewhere, Im not taking, I`m tired or any excuse he has. Im not a doll you can put on a shelf when you don`t want her.Been down that road for too many years.MC had told me I can sleep beside him,live with him but still have my own life.Well heck thats hows it always had been.The only difference was I did`nt entertain men. I did`nt think that was right but maybe she has a point. Is`nt that what he was doing with his so called woman friends all those years? I don` know believer I`m just tired of being the one to always work harder on this marriage.

We`ve been really doing wonderful since my last post doing things together every weekend. He certainly is not the man I knew long ago, gee how people can change when they are out of years of fog. It scares me though and it hurts too.I guess it`s the trust issue.Can we really learn to trust again?I don`t know.I try to push thoughts back in my head but they surface alot lately, I don`t know why.
We had a wonderfull day yesterday, he picked me flowers from a field,just us two enjoying a nice drive stopping wherever we wanted to, on the way back home I had tears in my eyes a bad moment of abuse came in my mind. I don`t want to remember that,I didn`t let him know, I did`nt want to bring anything up. I really hate the thoughts.

My god did us BS think that our mate would never ever cheat on us, ect? I guess sometimes we walk in our own fog too.