....and he has to face YOU!
You remain in my prayers.

Hurting you will be in my prayers.

I can't even imagine the pain you are in right now so I will pray for you to have strength tomorrow.

Keep your head held high the whole time because you did EVERYTHING you could to save your marriage.

just because you cannot see the miracle

does not mean it is not there ... just outside our senses ... and later, we can see it

Pep

rmemmber the movie Signs .... Mel Gibson's character could not see the miracle until the very end of the movie ...

it's good

Pep

Maybe its like a teakettle... you can watch that pot on the flame forever and think it's never going to boil. But it does. It must. It cannot sit on the flame and not react.

You've been on the flame for a year - and so has your WH. Something must happen.

I'm praying for you, too, Hurting...

Remember, Hurting....tomorrow....

You will not be alone! ....imagine us here on the Board......being all right BEHIND YOU.....

...You will be OK.....you just have to get through it....and you will!

((((((((((((HURTING))))))))))))))))))

Prayers from the W's.

Carry God with you in there

and remember...Act, Don't React.

Mr. Wondering

Prayers...remember...YOU BE IN CONTROL...LET HIM BE ONE OUT OF CONTROL...tomorrow is just another day...it's just legalities...not the marriage ok? Like what we talked about. Let WS be the one to react as I predict he will tomorrow...YOU be COOL, CALM, AND COLLECTED.

I will email you my work number tomorrow in case you need 2 talk.

It is ok.

You have a clean conscience and a future wide open ahead of you. WE love you! We support you.

Tomorrow is only about legalities concerning you and family's financial well being. A piece of paper nor a decree can truly dissolve almost a quarter of a century of a relationship. No affair can do that.

The real outcome of the divorce is still yet to be seen as you know my thoughts...1)the OW is still LEGALLY MARRIED (even if she files for D now, it will take about six months at minimum for her to get a divorce so that stalls) and 2)she can't have babies....which makes it more difficult to forge a new false history with your WH...so that's great <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" /> They have so many obstacles to naturally overcome in this hurl-worthy affair of theirs.

Outcome? Either they fantastically crash and burn or else you fantastically recover and move ahead of all of this. Either way you win...faith wins.

I am proud of you.

Just wanted you to know that I'll be praying for you today.

Hold your head up high and know that'll things will work out for your good.

(((hurting)))
When you are in court today just think of all of us right there with you....on your side of the court room we would fill the entire gallery...gather strength from us you know we are all praying for you....sending positive thoughts your way. You have held yourself w/ grace and dignity through this whole thing...I expect no less today.

You will get through and be better for it. WH will wallow in the muck and stench of skankho and one day wake up...smack himself in the head a few hundred times....WHAT was I thinking? By then who knows if you would even want him back. He sure doesn't deserve you now.

Let us know how it goes.
Go w/ grace.

Thinking about you today, hurting. You have been such an inspiration to me throughout everything. You are a smart, strong woman!!

Just wanted to add my voice to the chorus.

You'll do just fine. You will walk out of that courtroom with you dignity intact!

We'll all be with you in spirit!

You are in my thoughts and prayers today Hurting.

Be strong and make us proud. Your WH's affair won't last, and he is ruining his life, but he doesn't know it. Hang in there and let us know all the details.

Do you know how many friends you have ???

Actually -- more than you can count


Carnation

First off let me say thank you to all of you for being such a wonderful support and caring friends. it has meant so much to me. I also wanted to say I held up very well, walked in with my head high and the strength of God and all of you behind me......


I am now divorced.

things went better than I expected actually. WH did admit to living with his girlfriend as he put it.

The judge and my attorney both questioned him about his expenses saying they were a little high since he is living with her.

All in an nutshell. We have joint custody with him being primary. The judge tld him the only reason he as getting priamary was because after DS'S own testimony he felt I had done all I could do and that DS was to much for me to handle. He said its time for WH to step up to the plate and be a father. He said all of the problems your wife was having will come to you. He said Mrs. BS I think you are a good mother and you have done all you can do to help this boy, but I am not sure you can handle him. This is the only reason I am giving your husband primary.

He told WH he will enforce visitation and if he finds out visitation did not happen it will be on WH'S own neck. He said also you both have to work together closely to ensure this boy gets what he needs. That means you have to communicate and talk.

WH was asked about him going between OW and I both and was he trying reconcile? WH say no I was not , he was asked don't you think your actions showed reconcilliation? He said well I guess so.

Finacially I did ok. I will get one half of the 401K, I will get alimony for 5 years plus the back SS he owes payable by him adding an extra 100.00 a month to the alimony for a year. The judge says Mr.s BS I wish I could give you more but the money only goes so far.

He has to pay my attorney fees. I do not have to pay child support at all. the judge waived that because of him feeling DS is a problem child I can't handle plus the fact I fought for him.

The judge was not impressed with WH'S actions of the last year and let it be known. The strangest thing of all is not one time did WH say anything negative about me. I was shocked.

I did well I held up fine, I only teared up on the stand and had to compose myself. I looked at WH and he was looking at me with a look of sadness on his face.

I know there is much more but this is pretty much it in a nutshell.....

Hurting

edited to add: I just talked to m SIL, she has spoken to WH and she said he was not pissed about the alimony or anything. He told her he didn't want CS from me, all he wanted was for me to be a mom to DS and not forget him....How freaking generous of him.......

(((((hugs okla)))))

So sorry things turned out this way.

At least you will have enough funding to get on with your life.

If I remember correctly, you didn't seem to have many problems with your kids until your XH decided to tear your marriage and family into shreds with his A and ow.

Now your son is a 'problem child', and I think it is GREAT that the judge is making XH stand up to the plate and be responsible for his son.

I dunno, I always thought your kids were pretty terrible to you regarding this whole A thing. You need a break from your whole family after the way you have been treated. If they want their dad, then let them have him. Sorry if that is a dj. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/blush.gif" alt="" />

You did your best for all of them. No you weren't perfect, and your dad died and you got depressed. But that wasn't worthy of having your family torn apart.

You need a break. When will you be moving? Will son visit you in VA?

So ex doesn't want you to forget about DS? As if you ever would. How disgusting. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/mad.gif" alt="" />

God has a better plan for you okla, don't forget that. You are WORTHY. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />

The Lord bless you and keep you
The Lord lift his countenance upon you
And give you peace
And give you peace
The Lord make his face to shine upon you
And be gracious unto you
The Lord be gracious
Gracious unto you.
Amen

Prayers and blessings to you, we all love you here and want to know how you are. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

Love in Christ,
Miss M

hurting....having been there I feel your pain....with time....you'll be ok...with firm understanding that "what comes around, goes around"....

I wish you nothing but the best...

wow

go treat yourself to something nice

a movie?
a pedicure?
a naked man? <~~~ oops ... that just sllipped out <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/laugh.gif" alt="" />

when you are ready ... God will rain men on you ....


but for now

treat yourself with care & understanding

YOU are special

love you gurlie

Pep

(((hurting)))

I believe in karma...you have A LOT of good headed your way. We all know what stupid alien has coming his way.

It sounds like the judge was fair, I'm glad you don't have to pay XWH anything.

Take care of yourself. I wish I could come and take you out for dinner and a giant margarita...we could play darts (of course w/ XWH picture).