Hurting--sounds as if things went as best as they could, except that yourDS choseto stay with XH. That could change at some point you never know.
Hang in there and go one with your life.....you will be rewarded for your efforts and the work that you put into yourself.

More on my thoughts...after driving home hurting...

I think there's gonna be nothing like tonight for a bit of a foghorn toot! Yea, some of that fog's gonna clear a bit away...HIM PAYING YOU...NO CS FROM YOU...that was big. The ow was probably hoping for CS...now SHE'S gotta pay...and HE HAS TO PAY YOU...

When they get to the affair home, (hardly a home...an affair hovel), and especially after the monies he has to pay you each month...FIGHTS WILL BEGIN TO HAPPEN..VERY SOON...and he will begin to wonder why did he want this? The excitement should be waning soon...ESPECIALLY WITH TWO HORMONALLY DRIVEN AND OUTTA CONTROL TEENS UNDER THE APARTMENT ROOF...nothing like teens for romance in an affair huh? How romantic...a teeny apartment with four people in it...

I see a huge disaster looming...now the OW is gonna get even more desperate...and she's still married. She's gonna push for some "token" and there ain't enough money to buy her a token so FIGHTS FIGHTS FIGHTS..plus little privacy...and fantasy will give way to disgust soon. How can you harbor fantasy in a teeny apartment? four people? hmmmm?

SIMPLE...IT AIN'T GONNA HAPPEN. how could she afford a divorce now? IT AIN'T GONNA HAPPEN!

Between the affair fantasy bubble bursting and probable money fights I predict a demise sooner than later.

ripe for you to begin a 180...and PLAN A'ING YOURSELF!

Now you can do it perfectly <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" /> it was harder for me b/c I had a preggers wistress begging my suddenly xh to marry him "or else"..you don't have these worries as I did.

so what to do?

work it girl. be happy. treat yourself now.

I'd show a bit of sadness for a few days...then I'd become carefree in oklahoma! yessiree! I'd immediately implant the 180 degree stuff into my life and begin living single immediately..not yet dating mind you, but going out to very public places, looking great, and flaunting fact you're single...will bust the affair even faster.

HERE IS THE TOUGHEST DOSE OF REALITY ON A WS WHO GETS DIVORCED SOLELY FOR THEIR OWN AFFAIR AND SELFISH PLEASURES...THEY DON'T GET IT THAT AFTER THE DIVORCE, THEY CAN'T INDULGE THEMSELVES ANYMORE..NO SINGLE LIFESTYLE FOR THEM...THEY INSTANTLY ARE CLONED ONTO SOMEBODY ELSE...

it is the BS who is free...and the WS figures that out TOO LATE...Mine freaked out on several occasions after our divorce...because he was not ready to think of ME AS SINGLE...but it was OK FOR HIM TO SEE OTHER PEOPLE AND TO HAVE A MISTRESS WHEN WE WERE MARRIED AND SEPARATED THOUGH...BUT NOT OK FOR ME. and he rebelled against it. big deal. mine couldn't do a thing about it.

let's see how long your xh is able to relish in the fact that he FOUGHT SO HARD AGAINST YOU FOR A FANTASY THAT JUST DOESN'T EXIST AT ALL! NOT ANYMORE ANYHOW. no more fantasy "let's leave our cares and worries aside" kinda escapist attitude the affairees have. no sir!

Mr. WS xh, it's time for YOU AND THE HO TO DO LAUNDRY, DISCIPLINE THE TEENS, PAY FOR THE TEENS, GIVE YOUR CAR KEYS OVER TO THE TEENS, LIVE WITH TEENS AND LOUD MUSIC IN A TOO SMALL APARTMENT, AND LIVE ON MUCH LESS MONEY ...AND TO KNOW THAT HE HAS TO HAND OVER MONEY TO HIS WIFE...WHO LOOKS HOT AND IS A FREE AND SINGLE WOMAN (UNLIKE HER XH WHO IS TIED DOWN IMMEDIATELY BUT NOT IN LEGAL SENSE TO A COMPLETE AND UTTER IDIOT AND HO)SO THAT HIS XW CAN GO OUT AND BE SINGLE AND ENJOY LIFE....SO THAT HIS XW CAN NOW ENJOY THE FANTASY HE THOUGHT HE HAD GOTTEN.

HA! LET'S SEE HOW HE LIKES IT...THE KARMA TRAIN IS ABOUT TO MAKE THIS MAN OPEN UP HIS EYES AND IT'S NOT GONNA BE PRETTY HURTING OK?

When he sees this in about a month, it's gonna be sooooooo sad for him.

Now comes the part for YOU>.....YOU will have to decide if you will take his sorry cheating [censored] back when he begs for mercy and wants you to give him even a nanosecond of your time...or if YOU want to be with one of the many wonderful guys who will beat your door down in a short while:)

get used to it. the karma train is funny bout this kinda stuff.

I AM SOOO PROUD OF YOU <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

and very sorry you joined the xw's club.

but....LIFE'S GONNA GET RATHER IRONIC AND REALLY GOOD FOR YOU SOONER THAN YOU REALIZE!

I agree with justPeachy completely.

There is no more solid blow to ANYONES attempts at romance and privacy..and cashflow [and selfish entitled behavior] than a couple of teens they are now responsible for the daily upkeep of.

Sooooo funny that they will get to see their own behavior from your point of view now.

Sit back and enjoy the echoes of slamming doors, disrespect, and of course you know that children are the first to turn every hypocritical utterance that has ever cleared you lips right back on you with absolutely no mercy..right?

Just wait until your X tries to pull the moral authority card with his still married slut standing beside him.

Yessirree ..I really do like that judge of yours..perhaps we at MB could send him a thank you note.

peachy

brilliant

really well done !

*karma train* ... 'bout to dump a dump on the infidels' love shack

"are we having bliss yet?"

tick-tock-tick-tock

get your groove on Oakie ... you are going to look like the prize filly real soon

Pep <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/laugh.gif" alt="" />

I sooo ADMIRE you, Hurting!!

You have grown so much through this and despite what happened today..YOU ARE TRULY A WINNER!!!

Your former husband is LOST in a LIVING HE//...

What a LOSS for HIM..

He settled for the crumbs, losing the PRECIOUS JEWELS...

I just don't know what to say. To all of you many thanks for listening and helping me so much this past year.

As for me I am doing ok. I am sad but not to the point of breaking down.

You know I was so afraid of seeing my EXWH today, I was just sure I would fall apart. You know what though that didn't happen. Yes, it bothered me bt after I saw him and saw he was not the man I married I felt rather sorry for him. All I saw was a man who had aged 10 yrs in a year, his beard all gray and the sadness on his once happy face. His disheveled apperance was a shock for me as well. For someone who always looked nice going out in public he was in court wearing his jeans and a muscle shirt. What a change.

I didn't reconginze this person. He looked somewhat like my H he sounded somewhat like him as well. This man who divorced me today is not the man I know and loved. And until that man can ever be found I have no need for the man I saw today......

I will be ok, I am sure of this. The limbo life is gone. there is some resolution now. May not be the resolution I wanted but its the one I was dealt and I now have to play the hand out.

Its time for me.......

Hurting

So sorry for all you've gone through. But, you held your head high and apparently the truth won out.

You've really been a great inspiration to me and I'm sure to many on here who are right behind you on the path to D court.

Hang on. Your day is coming. I really believe the others are right: it's time for your moment in the sun. For your XH I do believe what goes around comes around. Nothing good ever comes from such a situation. The OW will now have to deal with an angry teen, lots less money and a beautiful, full of life XW.

Would hate to be in their shoes.

I just read this and it speaks VOLUMES....


LOL! I think the skankho picked his clothes out so they would match! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/crazy.gif" alt="" />

That's right. What goes around comes around. It is absolutely appropriate to mourn what you have lost, but you are also free now. Hold your head up high, because you have conducted yourself with dignity and strength throughout this entire ordeal.

Proud of you, hurting... although you really need a new screen name now. How about healing??

Hi HEALING!!!!

It was over as of yesterday huh... I know....a turn in life you never asked for or dreamed...but you know what.... you are gonna be alright. There is Healing in the wings of the Lord!!!

It sounds like you and your lawyer did well. The judge saw right through everything very accurately...thank the good Lord!!! I thought it was great how he commended you as a good mother, and gave the problems to your XWH. The judge sent you huge blessings, the relief/peace you will need at this time to heal. And I hope the things said to him by the judge will ring in his ears daily for years to come.

And yes it's time for you. Time for Gods new plan in your life. You are on a new road now, not knowing quite where you are going, but it will be a good road, and exciting one with God, and a peaceful one. I still think it would be wise to keep XH out, he will try to disturb your peace. Your son is old enough to communicate his needs to you just fine over the phone or during visits. Make it known to family members that you would rather not hear accusations or anything said by XH, and hope that they will understand that you need to heal.

I am amazed by your personal growth, dignity and wisdom. Your XH loss is great, only he doesn't see it....yet! He is going to see it! But you are going on, to be a blessing to so many others.

A little advice for now... <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

1. No dating until healed completely!

2. Watch out for all men!

3. Never date a man who was divorced for cheating!

4. I will send my dating rules later!

Sent with Love,
Lady

first justpeachy--awesome previous post regarding kharma and our EX's (mine is ExWW)..so true she is failing miserbly with her "soul mate"..LOL

Hurting-I agree with the others and glad you haven't broke down etc. Life begins now for you, as you've kinda been on hold for the past year. Every day will look brighter for you. Just have faith.

Thanks guys , you all are awesome ......

I am doing fine today, some sadness but yet a relief thats its all over and no more wondering......

Life goes on .....

Hurting

Hi hon,

Glad to hear the judge wasn't fogged or manipulated by the Ws. So the WS has degraded himself and now has t/b a father? Hm.... that w/b like asking an active drug addict to teach a class on how to say no to drugs to a group of high school students. CRAP! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/mad.gif" alt="" />

Well, you knew this could happen and it has been put on record that you are a good mother. Now the WS alien and your son have to one day admit that u are right and a good mom but it will take longer since they are still fogged out and live with a nutcase (OW).

I strongly suspect the A will begin to crumble more. Even if it withstood this, the fact that you are removed from the A removes you from the blame pool so the future shortcomings of their R w/b no one's fault but their own. Next time, the Ws may go to court in his briefs.....not reading them but wearing them. LOL!!! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/eek.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/pfft.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/laugh.gif" alt="" />

U R right, he isn't the man u married. Your real H would never have gone to court looking like a throwback hippie. LOL!!! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/eek.gif" alt="" />

You though move forward with the grace and dignity was have come to expect from you. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/wink.gif" alt="" />

take care,
L.

Just wanted to add that maybe one day you can let the WS know that getting the D was good. Why? Because while it was a pleasure being married to your H, it certainly wasn't the same being married to an idiot. Then say.....sorry u have turned into an idiot but that's what you get for having an OW instead of a real W.

<img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/pfft.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />

L.

Hurting-
Have been thinking of you all week, just now having time
to send a huge HUG, and many, many prayers your way.

As always, you showed great dignity, class, courage and
strength, and were able to hold your head high, chin up,
and look darned good, while on the other hand... there
was the WH looking pathetic, old, sad, and worn down by
his skanky lifestyle and standing in court in an undershirt
and jeans ! Kinda says it ALL !

I think he sounds like a man who already knew he was making
a huge mistake but perhaps it took going this far to shake
him from his fog and give him a chance to see how far down
in the pit he's gone. Now that his "lifeline" is gone, and
he's stuck with all the consequences of his own doing, it
won't take long for him to reach rock bottom and that might
finally break his stubborness and pride !

I hope that you are feeling okay, perhaps even some relief,
and can feel comfort and peace knowing you did all you could
do, and then some in dealing with a very hard situation,
both with WH and with your kids.

Best wishes, prayers, and good thoughts to you,
Slammed

Just an update on life here...... Not much happening things are pretty quiet. I have seen my DS more since court than I have in the last three months.

Seems the sympathy card is about to be played.

EXWH talked to his mom yesterday, as she said first civialized conversation with him in months.

anyhow he is trying for sympathy now, I have become evil amd cruel it seems.

Did all of you know I did all of this just so I can make him suffer? I quit my other job just so I could get more alimony. of course he now knows thats not what happen. My MIL told him what happen and he then said well that was wrong, they treated BS bad and she should go to the big bosses.
He is whinning how he is going to have to get a second job because he can't afford to pay all of this and still have money left. I guess supporting two households isn't easy.....

My MIL told him well these were your choices you left and you are the one who filed for the divorce. The reality of life is finally going to hit him.... Sucks to be him right now..... Wish I could feel sorry for him but I can't he did this not me...


P.S. WARNING TO ALL OF YOU WHO LIVE IN ATLANTA, THE INFIDELS WILL BE VISITING YOUR CITY THE FIRST WEEK OF AUG.... BE ON THE LOOKOUT FOR A COUPLE OF OKIES WHO ARE DELUSIONAL.... STAY CLEAR OF THEM ...... LOL

hey okla!!!

Good to see your update.

Soooo......when are you moving <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" /> and leaving all of this mess behind you? Is DD coming? How is she doing? Glad to see you have been seeing your DS. Remember to just be nice to him.

Anyway, I am moving too. Aug 1st. Several hundred miles away back to H's hometown as my IL's are in their 80's and need us as they are not keeping up anymore. Moving into H's grandma's, (passed sometime ago) who raised him. It is a TERRIBLE mess, but we are willing. I will be so glad to be away from here and all the triggers I still have and say nothing about. LOL. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/rolleyes.gif" alt="" />

Anyway, take care and let us all know how you are. You have a great attitude and are WORTHY. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" /> Have you gone out and done anything fun yet?

God Bless you sweetie!(((((HUGS!!!!)))))

Love in Christ,
Miss M

Hey Hinok,

Good to hear from you. So the fog is clearing a bit? Glad his mom was able to get in a few words of wisdom. Only 2 jobs???? U've already done that.....he ought to do 3 jobs. LOL!!!

As for the Atlanta thingy.....thought he was broke! What a liar. Put Justpeach on the alert. Imagine what that BS c/d if she ever got ahold of him and OW there. Talk about fire works. LOL!!! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/eek.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/pfft.gif" alt="" />

I just visited Faith's photo album and your pix just shined!! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/wink.gif" alt="" /> Wanted to let you know that all those good looks shouldn't be put to waste...... no more hiding behind that big front door, ok? <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/wink.gif" alt="" />

Hugz,
L.

first let me answer the question of am I moving. Not right now I'm not and thats due to finances and my job becoming more what I want it to be. I am fine with it as I really don't worry so much about seeing EXWH or the bimbo.

Ok now to toot my own horn here .... lol

First off I have really let it be known to my kids I do not want to hear anything about their dad. MY DD started telling me something about him and I cut her off and said no more... I don't want to hear it anymore, he is not my problem.

ODS called yesterday and asked me about going out to the casino. I said yes I went two times and have not been there in over two months why? He said wel Dad said you have been going all the time. I became angry and told him, look I don't care what your dad says I don't want to hear anymore. And besides what I do, where I go and how I spend my money is none of his business anymore and if I want to date every man in Okla its none of his business. I do not care what your dad says or feels anymore he made his desicions now he can live with them.

ODS became very quiet and said ok mom I didn't mean to piss you off. I said you didn't these are the facts and I am done worrying about him and what he is thinking , doing or feeling. It felt so good to finally say those words.

Also I found out I can be very useful in fixing my own car. I actually put in a radiator all by myself... YDS was suppose to help me but he is AWOL again ignoring my calls. So this morning I got up and did it all by myself. And the fact i did it right is even more impressive. So I now know I can do things for me I don't need to rely on sons or EXWH'S to help me do anything. Feels really good....

Hurting