Ok, in reading the different sides to the Plan A appraoch I'm a bit curious. There still severe lies going on with my Fiance, engaged to marry next Feb. A started, I believe, 2 weeks ago. So many signs, indescrepancies, etc. When I appraoched originally because it "felt" right, I over reacted, dramatically. It pains me the thought without her, but through many pages on this site I'm learning things, appraoches.
My situation however is, we have three kids already. 2 are mine biologically, the eldest is her's from a previous relationship, but 4 yrs w/ me and not around his "real" dad...he's my son as well.
I involved her parents in this and at the moment, surprisingly, they are on my side. They know how I am, what I've done for the family, etc. and now are helping me face the grim truth's behind alot of this.
I tell her I don't want her to leave me, and her response is, "do you think I'm the one walking out that door? Or are you going to be a [censored] and kick your kids out too?" Now, the home we are purchasing is in my name, she hasn't worked for 4 yrs. recently started back.
I have supported this family for 4 yrs, financially. Being that we are not married yet, and the house is in my name, I shouldn't have to give it up if she leaves. If she does decide to leave w/ the OM, their incomes won't provide for 3 children, they both work in a restaurant(not a fancy one)and make minimum wage. i know my chances for custody won't be great, but should be good considering. Especially the fact that the oldest would be filed for by her parents, which they said they would do to make sure the boys remained stable. Her father told me flat out that he hasnt' worried about the oldest for over a year now, since we started planning our wedding. Now he's concerned, mostly for the structure.
In the beginning of all this I wanted to win her back by clinging, wrong. Now I'm trying to Love...myself, my kids, and her. In that order. the tension from the little things I see and uncover make it difficult, but I have to remain stable for the sake of the children. now my questions are throughout this post.
Mainly, I need feedback on what I said I'm doing and trying to do. If my appraoch or Plan isn't quite right, please inform.
