I am new to this site and found it very interesting.
My husband and I have been married for almost 5 years. In our first year, I found out that he cheated on me before our marriage. Besides his act, his lies were what hurted me the most. We worked thru this difficult time and concentrated on rebuilding our relatiosnhip. We became closer and stronger. However, from time to time, I will have my insecurities invade me and will doubt and question him. He has been very helpful and understanding and has shown tremendous patience with me.
Last night I made a comment that hurted him a lot and he thinks that I still don't trust him. When I ask myself the question, I feel like I do trust him and that is where the problem is. I feel like I am stuck. His reasonning makes perfect sense to me and demonstrate that I definitely don't trust him and yet, when I ask myself the question, I trully feel and beleive that I do. I honestly don't know what to do and feel helpless. I don't want to hurt him and myself anymore. I know that the fisrt problem consist of me beleiving that I trust him, yet acting otherwise. I can not heal unless I recognize the problem. Yet, I don't feel like I am in denial. I have always found a way to fix my problems and get better. I meditate quite a bit, which has helped me tremendously. But right now I feel like I am stuck and need your help. Thank you for your feed back.
Bebchat