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Joined: Apr 2005
Posts: 322
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OP
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Joined: Apr 2005
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Hi to all the Wonderful People here in MB Land,
How long from start to finish could the mediation process take?
I've started mediation and we've had our second visit...it seems like there is so much to consider, reconsider, and figure out.
I've had someone tell me a year...and that was quick. I know my WS is thinking he will be hopefully out of here within the next 6 weeks.
Of course he can leave and we can make some arrangement where I agree not to pursue him for abandonment...which apparently is hard to prove anyway and would have to be for a year...he isn't like that anyway. He would still want and have a lot of contact with the kids. He would also still be paying for everything. So it isn't REALLY abandonment anyway.
Thanks,
Strongest
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Joined: May 2000
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It can take about as long as you want it to take.....And as long as the court system in your area takes.....didn't do mediation but it took several weeks (4-9) from the time we requested a hearing until we could get one here...but it was a contested situation and ended up being hammered out before we walked in the courtroom. This was a year after I filed. (Prior to that, we had been legally separated for over a year after he filed, had that rescinded, stayed in limbo for 1.5 years, then were finally divorced over a year from the date I filed.)
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Joined: Sep 2005
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Joined: Feb 2002
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A month seems a short time. With a house, kids, property, it will likely take longer. Mine took 18 months, and the financials still weren't completed by then.
It was a marriage that never really started.
H: Conflict Avoider, NPD No communication skills (Confirmed by MC) Me: Enabler
Sep'd 12/01, D'd 08/03.
My joys and the light of my life: DD 11, DD 9
*Approach life and situations from the point of love - not from fear.*
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Joined: Jul 2001
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It really depends. If one of you is willing to leave a lot on the table, it could be just six weeks. If you both want what you are entitled to, it will be more than six weeks.
If it looks like more than the six weeks, I suggest you encourage him to separate. Use the manner that will be most effective. It's very hard on everyone, including the children, when two divorcing spouses continue to live together during the negotiation.
Divorced.
2 Girls
Remarried 10/11/08
Widowed 11/5/08
Remarrying 12/17/15
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I had tried mediation and asked the mediator how many sessions are generally needed for a typical family situation, house, cars, kids, etc.
She said between 6 and 10 weekly sessions depending upon the flexibility of the parties.
We quit after 6 sessions with no progress because my ex-wife wouldn't budge from her demands.
Now, over 2 years later, we are still divorcing and awaiting arbitration to settle the financials.
Regards, vegman
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It also depends on what state you are in. In my state we went to a 1/2 day mediation for 6 hours and we could not settle at mediation so we had to go before a judge.
My XH did not want any "property", the only thing he was contesting was CS and alimony.
Some states require several mediation sessions with only 2 hours per session each...others, like mine get it all done at once..so we are all pulling our hair out at the end of the day and absolutley nothing is accomplished...
My divorce took 7 months before we entered a judgement then another 6 months for the judge to actually sign the thing...
even then, though, we have not settled everything...we are still fighting for things and trying to get things switched over to my name, etc...
its a huge mess no matter what way you look at it.
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Strongest,
I am at 2 years 3 mos in Ca. We have had 6 mediation sessions.(BTW she lied to me at every one of them) After my last proposal, she never even bothered to reply, I withdrew all prior proposals so we are back to square one as HER lawyer insisted. So it is off to court we go on 6-29 for almost the whole enchilada.
We were also involved in a couple of real estate ventures, which she insists are a lot more valuable than she and all the other partners had agreed to years previously. They are so angry that if those issues end in litigation, they voted to to countersue if she takes any actions beyond what we all had agreed to in our LLC agreements.
Phony remorse, words contrary to actions and above all those two great personality traits, greed and self entitlement.
Divorced:
"Never shelter anyone from the realities of their decisions": Noodle
You believe easily what you hope for ernestly
Infidelity does not kill marriages, the lying does
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Joined: Sep 2005
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It really depends. I filed for divorce Nov. 1 after being threatened by WH. The lawyers bantered stuff around for months until we had mediation at the end of April. The settlement agreement was signed a couple weeks ago, the papers were filed Tuesday, and the judge signed them the same day. So from mediation to decree, about two months. But to be honest, I think a lot of that time was just because of lawyers being slow.
(Formerly SadMommy05)
BS, 29 (me)
XH, 27
DD, 1
M, 2001 high school sweethearts
OW, 36, divorcee, "we have a friendship people can't understand"
WH left out of the blue 9/5/2005
I filed 11/1/2005 D finalized 6/20/06 
XH and OW married 1/6/07. Ugh!
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Joined: Apr 2005
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OP
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Joined: Apr 2005
Posts: 322 |
Thank you everyone for resonding.
It looks like time is all over the place.
My mediator has suggested that I get a lawyer...so I know my rights and perhaps I'm on an equal playing field with my WS who is a lawyer.
We've had two, 2 1/2hour sessions and we're just starting to toss ideas around. My WS ideas so far don't impress me.
I know he wants this done fast...he also wants to leave me with the least possible affect on his pocket book. He has been arguing for no valuation on his private practice and no valuation on his professional degree. Yeah right! I don't think so.
I believe he is starting out with unrealistic expectations.
So I think this process could take a while.
Strongest
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