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Joined: Jun 2006
Posts: 280
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OP
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Joined: Jun 2006
Posts: 280 |
so you think i shouldnt agree till im ready?i really know this is a mistake i got to by some time thanks
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Joined: Jun 2006
Posts: 280
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Joined: Jun 2006
Posts: 280 |
does anybody know what the perfect plan a is???????
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Joined: Jan 2001
Posts: 17,837
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Posts: 17,837 |
Perfect plan A. Go read Surviving an Affair and His Needs/Her Needs.
You want to take a shortcut....there is no shortcut.
stop your hurt by taking care of yourself. Stop wallowing in pity.
Does that sound mean? It probably does but it isn't.
Need to get you on your feet so you are wilting with each contact and letting your imagination run wild.
L.
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Joined: Jun 2006
Posts: 280
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OP
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Joined: Jun 2006
Posts: 280 |
i figured there was no short cut,its just the shock is wearing off and now i know im really facing this
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Joined: Jun 2006
Posts: 280
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OP
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Joined: Jun 2006
Posts: 280 |
i spoke to other mans older brother and he was aware of the sitiuation and swore that it is over he wants to assure me thatt it is indeed over anything i want ....but is it possible that i broke that up and she could in fact be in another affair?if this is the case i would have no chance of fixing correct?
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Joined: Jan 2001
Posts: 17,837
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Joined: Jan 2001
Posts: 17,837 |
i spoke to other mans older brother and he was aware of the sitiuation and swore that it is over he wants to assure me thatt it is indeed over anything i want ....but is it possible that i broke that up and she could in fact be in another affair?if this is the case i would have no chance of fixing correct? Yes. That's why u need to work on u. If you just bust up her A's and she still is a WS, she will just prowl for more A's. Not good..... u work on getting your mind and heart in sync so you can move forward. She needs to miss you. L.
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Joined: Jun 2006
Posts: 280
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Joined: Jun 2006
Posts: 280 |
perfect orchid now im starting to get it...its almost like tryin to make her realize what shes missing
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Joined: Jan 2001
Posts: 17,837
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Joined: Jan 2001
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perfect orchid now im starting to get it...its almost like tryin to make her realize what shes missing BINGO!!!! We got a winner here! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" /> Now I don't have to fly over there and whack you upside the head with His Needs/Her Needs. LOL!!! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/eek.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" /> L.
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Joined: Jun 2006
Posts: 280
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Joined: Jun 2006
Posts: 280 |
no i promise ill listen finally!!!!!!!!thank you so much
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Joined: Jun 2006
Posts: 280
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Joined: Jun 2006
Posts: 280 |
i will be meeting with wifes brother how has most influence on her any suggestions what i should say
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Joined: Jun 2006
Posts: 280
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Joined: Jun 2006
Posts: 280 |
it blow up on me big time her brother joe who i was emailing happenend to be her best friend joesphine who told her she was meeting me now i have no idea what to say to wife or the girl whos expecting me to give her a time to meet.i got to think of something so wife dont think im turning trouble.any body know what i should do?
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Joined: Nov 2004
Posts: 8,970
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Joined: Nov 2004
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Have I got this correct...you thought you were emailing your wife's brother, but it was your her best friend josephine?
Just email her back and tell her you thought she was BIL.
You can't control what your wife will think...be honest with what happened.
Unless I have this inside out...and I could.
LA
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Joined: Jun 2006
Posts: 280
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Joined: Jun 2006
Posts: 280 |
its about right but i dont want wife to know brother will speak to her he has much influence over her and if she knew he was speaking on my behalf it wont mean anything
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Joined: Jun 2006
Posts: 280
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Joined: Jun 2006
Posts: 280 |
im starting to see that ww might not come out of this is being seperated 50 days long enough to determine that it may not work out to save marriage
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Joined: Jun 2006
Posts: 280
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Joined: Jun 2006
Posts: 280 |
still no contact with her im gonna just go out this weekend and see some friends and family to see if they heard from her i shouldnt try to call all the time thats kinda needy looking right?
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Joined: Jun 2006
Posts: 280
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Joined: Jun 2006
Posts: 280 |
wife just left a message to call cell phone co. and get a seperate account.should i do it?and does this mean anything unusal or is this a common way she should act?
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Joined: Jan 2001
Posts: 17,837
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wife just left a message to call cell phone co. and get a seperate account.should i do it?and does this mean anything unusal or is this a common way she should act? U didn't do that yet? Go get the $$ out of the account and setup your own today. Remember the WS wants you t/b broke. Go secure your finances and don't give her $$ for the A. If she wants grocery $$, tell her to give you the list of what she needs....she claims she can't, then don't. L.
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Joined: Jun 2006
Posts: 280
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Joined: Jun 2006
Posts: 280 |
thanks orchid so dont take this personally just seperate the phones right
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Joined: Jan 2001
Posts: 17,837
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Joined: Jan 2001
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Phones, bank account, anything that would tie you down financially. In many cases the WS are on a downward spiral. It is best if the BS isn't tied to them financially because the WS will drain all the resources from the BS to fuel their selfish A attitude.
See the A is just a symptom of a greater addiction. Some Ws go from the A to a spending spree. I saw that with SIL and she was previously an out of control manipulator. Yet her H was in denial and he has paid for it with about a dozen of plastic surgery procedures costing him probably close to 100K or more. SIL is so plasticed up, we wonder if she will have t/b recycled. LOL!!!
L.
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Joined: Jun 2006
Posts: 280
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Joined: Jun 2006
Posts: 280 |
hope shes better b4 that lol... i understand what u mean with the money.just take care of what i have to.even though the phone is a sign of moving away from me at least i dont have to pay for her calls anymore especailly the calls i dont approve of.i just made a big mistake though and cleaned out a drawer in the house and found tons of love letters and cards my wife gave me through the years were shes sayin were toghether forever good times and bad etc.now im a mess again.i really hope she comes out of this fog we got too years and memories to throw out
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