i dont know anymore?its hard to follow these rules and she dont call ,come by or nothing im in the middle of wanting to give up and tryin to save this m at the same time
every day when i wake up i think shes here,then reality sets in and after an hour i forget about her.i dont want resentment to set in so im kinda lost today

Keep your head up. Yo-yo. What goes down, must come up. I feel you, man. Don't give in, don't give up.

There are no set rules on how to do this correctly. There is a lot of advice here but even the vets disagree on somethings. So I dunno, but I think we both have an advantage: affairs are fairly young and they have been exposed. Hopefully both our WSs A's will burn brightly but briefly. I just got an email from a close friend and she told me that she knew of 3 couples that have had affairs and the affair never worked out.

Even the one where the WH had a child with the mistress. His wife took him back and he now has a 6 yr old by another woman. So, there are people worse off then us and many of them have healed.

I find video games and crosswords keep my mind active and away from the negativity.

Brian

i know bri,we got to put the work in to see the results
its just frustrating that if our situations were switched the wives would feel probably worse then us thats the part i dont get how any logical person cant see the harm their doing to others

still nothing new
i got one text message from her last night telling me to call her uncle about money we had owed him,thats it i think i am gonna forget her and let the chips fall

she just text messaged again i didnt answer
does anybody think this is smart?
i feel since she wont let me meet any ens i might as well back up and let her wonder how it feels not to be heard is this good?

Call the Uncle, let him know she is a WS and she will be finishing the payments (unless the $$ was specifically for u).

JMHO,
L.

it was for me so i gotta pay him but im gonna tell him my resons for not getting to him sooner for the fact she ran away

Sounds like a plan.

L.

i see my w,wife had called the home 2 times called my cell phone about 4 and text messaged me.
i was at an amusement park with her family <go figure>
and when i finally got the phone out of the locker she called again.this was the first time she said hello with meaning kinda like she was my wife again,then she asked for help with the cell phone bill which 2 weeks ago pushed me to get seperate acoounts
do you think she was being nice to get what she needs or was she using the bill as an excuse to call me ?
im not in plan a or be right now.right now im in plan me
i heard her out and asked her when it was due and she was like no rush i just want to know if you can help since im out of work for the month<just became teacher>
i told her ill call ya back im in the middle of something
she said no prob but as the call got to the end she ackwardly said bye and hung up
not nasty ,
just i guess uncomfortable
now heres the prob one of the ens i see is finacal stability and i know many esp orchid said no wife no money but it might be worth the 150 bucks to see her and see if it was manipulative or not
if it was to get what she wants i wont give it no more but ive lost more than that on a hand of black jack so its worth a shot no?
p.s. i didnt cal back im tryin a new style if someone thinks this style is bad please stop me....thanks

I think I would tell her that you owe uncle some money and won't have it.

It is a mistake to help with money while spouse is having an affair.

even though part of the money is actually my responibity
both cell bills were under her name so i think i do owe her at least 150 out of the 420 bill
what do u think?

I think $420. is a bit high for a cell phone. Do the two of you have tons of money?

no we dont but when i found out about affair i went crazy with the phone talking to family etc and i went over the minutes by tons!!

Well, time for more self-control. If you owe the money, pay it. Otherwise I would not make it easy for her. They do tend to be nice when they want something.

i gotcha thanks for the reality check
im gonna pay what i owe and then thats it

I would agree. No honey, no money. In fact, my WS and I are negotiating how much she needs to pay ME per month. Right now it is at about $550 for bills and expenses.

Funny that she wanted to dictate what I spent the money on (ie cable).

Stay strong. And I like the new attitude. Remember, though it is for you, it is far more attractive to her than: "please come back and disrespect me some more."

i gotcha i hope you do the same throstien
but today is one of my bad days
wife had just come over so i could let her take her school papers from the file cabinet and i happened to see her cell phone on the table when she was in the other room.
she used to have my cell under my love now its just john
also couldnt see the om new number but i did see another guys number not familiar if this is the case that shes turning into a ****** im gonna have no choice but to****can the plans and get nasty
ill have to waste my days cracking their heads as if i had a renagade daughter if any one out there can getr me back on the horse i really need it now

Sleep always changes my mood. A friend from FLa called me today and said I should point to myself and say, "What, you want to give THIS up?"

Hehehe.

i feel a little better today i went out last night with a friend who stopped by to see how i was doing<a girl and nothing happened if anyone thought otherwise>we were out all night till 6 in the morning ..and i kinda needed that
we didnt talk about my problems much ,only in the begining cause she seen her and told me she feels we can never be the same so i just passed along the message that im willing to work on it or forget it but i dont know if she will tell her
anywayz i needed the night out to help me get out of that rut

It can't be the same. That doesn't necessarily mean that it can't be better. Do you even want it to be the same?

I don't.