all week till thursday i was getting calls from ww and thursday night i just missed her at her cousins birthdat party.{her family said she stood for about a half hour ,didnt seem too happy?,and then said she was tired and left}
ive been hearing in hearsay though that she is second guessing herself and it looks like she misses me,also people to keep telling me to try and speak to her again about marriage,but everyone on here says that is the wrong thing to do right now?i dont know anymore i wish there was a pill i could give her to snap out of this or her mother to believe this is more then the om,<i believe she had a mental breakdown>
well this is the week ill have best shot i believe to really know whats going on ...i will finally have my thoughts clear to meet her brother and tell him my stance on things..im sure he will try his best to talk to her on my behalve..
i have a wedding to go to friday <good luck to them theyll need it in this day and age>which she backed out of going with me of course.at this wedding i get to see a friend of hers who got divorced and is with her affair partner who she aint really happy with,so i will approach this woman respectfully to see what influence she had on her.
then i follow up om family exposure again who assured me this was over ,now i got to tell them they are wrong and what they inteend to do about it..
wives really losing it losing weight by the second,at the party people told me she had her hair dyed very uncomfortable there etc....
any and all advice is needed this week please to all that has helped me ...help me now !!!!! i really feel this could be one of those weeks were i can plant the best seeds for them to grow in her head,or it will be a week of me knowing i will indeed get divorced if im not super smart....

any one?

i just spoke to wife a minute ago and she told me she was going away this weekend?
i dont think with the other guy though,my gut says its that cousin upstate if any bodies familiar with that ...ive never exposed to her cousin so i dont know if i should?
the pro would be she would be informed and wouldnt give her wrong advice.
the con would be id give up my spying source..
my wife also out of know where asked me how i was getting to the wedding friday?the wedding she backed out of going with me.
i asked her why it would matter and her reply was im just asking..
i dont know if shes plotting something or she is really just curiuos cause she realized she still wanted to go?
the plot i think would be to know im not home and take out all the family pictures shes been asking for...i think i got to change the lock...
also should i have asked her where she was going this weekend,i acted like i could care less

JM

Don't assume anything first of all. I would not out my source for keeping tabs on her.

Don't know about her request regarding the wedding? Perhaps you could simply have said "yes, I am still going to ****'s wedding, would you like to go with me". Don't worry about her answer, if yes then real calmly state where you should meet (don't act anxious or giddy) and if no then say "no problem"

Remind me, are you in the home with the children at this point and has your WW moved out? If so, and you both have already made arrangements to get her what is hers and what she needs to exist at her new place then I would have no problem with you changing the locks and not telling anyone. There is no reason for her to be at the home unattended is there?

thank you and right she shouldnt be at the home without me present right now.
we said we would go through the pictures together ,i dont want her to take all of them in case we dont fix our marriage.
i just think she just wanted to know if i was going without her or she is thinking she got all night to be in the house to take what she needs ...eaither way i think i got to change the lock..
no kids,just a dog whos like our kid.

id like to hear from anyone who thinks if i speak about the marriage again it would be wrong?i know its needy looking but i got to at least let her know where i still stand no?
ive been sayin i was moving to her and she is sayin shell get her things when it gets cooler out ,but i dont want her to think me moving was moving on.
i want to move for a fresh start with her!!!!!!
i dont know what to do when i let her call its not enough ,but when i call it dont always work out well.
i guess iill just vent this here and wait it out ive gone this long whats another few days.....wish me luck please

Letting a WS know where the BS stands is usually futile. Making a WS wonder what the BS is up to is 'priceless'. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/wink.gif" alt="" />

L.

well i kinda got that chance today!
i was at a red light and seen my wife?driving by,she looked alittle different to me <bandanana and shades>which she normally didnt wear but anwayz i text messaged her
pay attention to the road you almost crashed
her reply. no i didnt
then she text again .where did you see me?
my reply. outside and you couldve said hello
then she text back immediatly i didnt see you where are you ,and i didnt answer ill let her think about that for a while.
she must of been up to no good cause she was worried about where and when i actually saw her..
does anyone think i should leave it like that,or should i call?

over 2 hours later since that happened.
shes still texting me thanks for answering!!!!!!!!!!!!!!me
i wrote back wat r u talking about ,you never called me
she just text back you said i didnt say hello i didnt see you where were you?
i dont want to get her mad but i want her to wonder though anyone out ther to help me in the next 5 minutes cause im gonna have to answer her back ,but this is good that its bothering her right?

TEXT:

Just out for a drive.

That should be ambiguous enough for her to wonder. Remember, you know where you stand. She doesn't know where she is. The fog is in, there is a storm and the seas are rough. BE THE LIGHTHOUSE!

A lighthouse just is, it doesn't wade into the sea to retrieve ships, it doesn't tell them to come into port, it doesn't act erratically.

It stands against the torrent, strong and secure, attracting those that need it.

You may not feel it inside, but you have to appear strong. Nothing is wrong about being aloof.

Brian

sounds good thanks bri

well i had went to the wedding and everyone was good not mentioning any of my problems,so i had a good time
i did get to talk to my wifes friend who had recently divorced her husband and is still with the guy she had the affair with.you want to laugh,half way through the party she through him out and he went home.
she said she had made a big mistake and still loved her husband but since this went on for 4 years he and her both decided to divorce./.she also told me she was cryin when she did so this so it shows me we all have a chance,cause she is still foggy and realizes that they have no future together but they didnt have a plan like we do.
now for me as i said before i thought this friend was supporting her descion to divorce me ,but in fact it was the opposite!!!!!
she said she will call me during the week and help get communication back with my wife.i dont want to get excited about this ,but this was a big step for seeing if things can start to work.
the girl had asked me at first what do i plan on doing with my wife,and i told her im fighting for my marriage.so once she heard this she was willing to intervine more then she did before.
she asked me if she could set up a weekend for me and my wife to go away would i?so i told her honestly i cant do that right now cause theres a third wheel in my marriage when the other guys out of the picture id be happy to.
my wife also told this girl to keep an eye on me at the wedding to make sure if i was drinking not to let me drive?<i guess theres some care for me in her after all?>
im open to all advice if anyone can take the time to do so,cause this girl will probably talk to her more then anyone else has since d day and i need some advice on how to get through to her after this is done

any thoughts?

Hopefully she will reinforce the positives about your M. She shouldn't condone the A (and that IS what it is even though you no longer live together.) My WW just left and I told her she was a good person, but what she was doing was wrong.

She said "Don't you think I know that?"

Anyway. Friends can advise but it will ultimately be up to her to return. Keep meeting her ENs when she ends it. Patience (for both of us). One minute I want a divorce, the next minute I am willing to stick it out. Replace the time with something else. I have PS2 and a PC, so agaming I go.

Ultimately, I think my WW will come back because of my kids. But, Some days I feel like she is far away.

If you did go out with WW, what would you do? Plan it out so you don't have the down time to think or talk about "things."

Other than that, I really don't know.

i believe that exposure little by little is taking a toll.
but i also believe in follow up exposure as well.
i dont think it works the first time around ,it only comes to light.
then half support it the other quarter ignore and the other support you.
the second time it shows the more seriuosness of the affair and in fact your not going to sit and watch this descrution.
i see that my first was shock,now im getting ready for the awe.!!!!
did anybody do this,does it have a sucsess rate?
now that i have a women whos friends with w,wife ready to fight on my behalf,and she divorced and is sad and is with the op who she knows its going no where,i believe this could be a good person to show the real problems endured with this and i hope she does it right<i aint putting all my eggs in this basket>
then i have to get back to other persons family,not him cause itll do no good and only get me in trouble.
you guys taught me that and im grateful for it.

i guess i was wrong!!!!
i woke up after another dream we were back together to see she had callled.
she left a message if it would be ok to get all her clothes today.
i guess i have to let her,it just looks like it might have to get even worse before it gets better?i hope

any ideas she will be here at 330?
i want to leave a good impression ,but i feel im gonna be nasty
its taken a toll on me and i dont know how to play this game no more?
i know to stay the course i just got to hear it i guess could anybody take the time to give me a boost if not i understand,this aint usally the time i get responses

Take a deep breath!! Just don't go bonzo. Act like you are doing just fine!! It's the only thing you can do right now!!! Not forever....just right now!!
MWIL

well i kept my cool cause she brought my sister in law so i just sat and talked with her.
now i know she was away with the other guy this weekend and im starting to lose the love i have for her.
i think thats what people have said itll work when im done with her i just wish things couldnt be this way.
im sure other wayward wives have came in the home to get there stuff like nothing is wrong right,and then there was still a chance of recovery?