I thought with the plan b he would come running back or say he was wrong or leave vanessa, but nothing is happening, I havent been with anyone thru this whole ordeal and havent even had anyone look at me. Am i that ugly? or not approachable, or look too desperate? Tommie is not trying to win me back or anything. I have prayed , cried, asked god to please restore us and to break the binds with him and vanessa,
Im starting to think thaT if i could be like her and have men leave their wives and be all over me.
It will be a year next month and i dont see a miracle happening. How long does this stretch out ???? is there no signs of waking up or is this just the sign that my marraige is done and im holding out for nothing?

Unfortunately, I don't believe anyone here has the answer on whether it is over or not. If someone here did I'd love to talk to them.

And no, the fact that he left you does not mean you are unattractive. This is a natural reaction on your part as the betrayed. I went through it as every BS does. We start by doubting ourselves. What this does mean is that Tommie has a flaw in his character. He is the one that truely needs help.

I'm sorry for the situation that you are in. I've gone through it and still do to a degree. I'm sorry to say that you may not want the advice that I can give because I was unable to save my marriage. I'm divorced and am still alone.

The only advice I can give is to seek help as you are and to look at the principles being taught here. If he comes back or not you can emerge from here a stronger person than before.

And you aren't truely alone.

I know your pain. It has been a year anniversary when I found out about my husbands affair. Get the "After the Affair" book and read it. God has been my true source of comfort. You indicated you pray. Now read. Read Psalm 139 and realize you are wonderfully made. Adultry is rooted out of lust. Man can come up with 20 thousand explinations, but it is simply put, lust. Don't put your whole self worth on another persons weakness. Their incapability to have self-control over their own bodies shouldn't define you or your contributions to your marriage. I don't know you, but I know you are real and for all of that I know you are special to God. Start asking God how He sees you and you will focus less on how your WS sees you. Ask God to show you how to look at your own self image through His Eyes (God's). If gravity remains in place because God spoke to it and the stars stay in the sky and shine when and where He tells them to, I think we can trust what He says to us. I hope you can start to find peace, I am searching as well. I refuse to define myself by someone elses weaknesses. I hope you realize you are not the definition of your WS actions. God bless you.