I am from South America and before my wife and I got married, I told her how important it was for me to go back there for a year to live at some point. She seemed to understand the importance of this for me.
Since then, we have visited my family in South America a number of times and my wife has not been comfortable with those visits (some of it is mother in law daughter in law relationship, I think). She says the environment is unfamiliar and that she doesn t feel independent there.
After our last visit, she told me that she couldn t go with me for a year anymore and that the maximum would be one month. Both work and family take me back home to S. America and so this new condition of hers makes things very difficult for me. We have two small kids and I can t just pick up and go - if we didn t have the kids, I think I would go.
I feel very stuck. I feel that my original request is being ignored, that my wife is imposing new conditions and is unwilling to make any kind of concession. I know that she doesn't like it so much in the city where my parents live, but I feel that now she is unwilling to make an effort. I have stopped asking, but I remain angry because I feel that we had an agreement of sorts before we got married and that she has gone back on her part.
Obviously if we went down for a longer time, we would not live with my parents but would have our own place.