I am the wife of a roughneck. He has been working in the oilfield for little over a year now. We've been married 7 years and have two children ages 1 and 4. He has had a problem with alcohol for a very long time and has been arrested several times for alcohol related offenses. The alcohol has caused alot of problems in our marriage over the years. The alcohol abuse has just recently gotten worse when he switched rigs and is now away from home two weeks out of the month where before he was on a rig that was close enough to home that he was home every night. On the other rig he would have benders and would go out and get drunk and stay gone all night now and then. I decided to quit nagging him about his drinking since he switched rigs and now the alcohol is almost a daily thing. The last time he was home he was home for a total of 11 days, only 2 days out of that 11 did he not touch a beer the whole day. I am certain that the beer he drinks when he is working is a daily thing as his toolpusher (the boss on the rig) has called here twice wanting to talk to him cause he did not show up for work on time. He is working 6 hours away from home right now. The toolpusher has said that it has been so bad this hitch with the crew that he was making alcohol the topic of the week. I don't know how else to approach him about this and not cause a fight. I have tried several different ways over the years and it always causes a fight. I get excuses like " this is who I am, you can't get rid of one bad thing and expect everything else to stay the same, you get rid of that and you get rid of some of the things that you love about me." I am at my wits end with this. The drinking has caused so much financial trouble and legal trouble that it is unreal. Six cars have been wrecked in the seven years we have been married the latest being just this past February. Is anyone else married to a roughneck or and alcoholic and is there any hope? Thank you.

Molly, I encourage you to do a search on Tredding_LTSwim's posts, a lot of great links to resources in there. Have you been to Alanon? Being married to an alcoholic is too much for most of us to bear without help. Best wishes!