Jedd and MyOwnCross,

I really and truly do wish you both well. You know, y'all came to a site dedicated to "building" strong and happy marriages. You received advice from many of the most experienced people here. People who have not only saved or vastly improved thier own marriages but have helped thousands of others do the same. And this ain't based on a single book, it's based on life experience of all those people they've helped as well as the knowledge from countless books. The kind of books that marriage counselors read....

That you choose to ignore all that and drive on is your choice. We didn't advise you to hurt you rather to protect y'all from future hurt and to protect her children from hurt and to protect a yet planned life from hurt.

If there is one thing y'all do take from the experience of the masses, I do hope that y'all get into pre-marital counseling and truly give this relationship a chance, but after posting here, I can understand that y'all may be scared to do so.

Best of luck and I'll keep y'all in my prayers.

And PS... It is highly unlikely that the moderators are going to remove a post full of sound advise. If someone was out of line then they may edit that persons comments.

I did not imply that your ideas came from one book only. Also, professionals use books as a reference and base their advice on a per-person indivual basis. As you stated we came here for advice. Sorry... but that was our fault. Accept my appologies.
Best wishes and goodbye.

The answers lie right here. Do not get married....earlier you said that your finacee cries for a child of his flesh and blood. Now you say that he is not pushing you. What is it?

I do believe with the others here. You have not healed and are in a euphoria with this man. You are having sex...and that should end immediately. There is a high on having sex...and you really don't think clearly.

DO YOU really in your heart want another child? Doesn't sound like it to me. Sounds like you are done...and wanting to get on with your life...career...and taking time for yourself. Which is good!

You both sound like nice people that care about each other. There are issues that are surfacing. I agree that you 2 should have counseling. As I see it...this marriage will not make it. You stated that you feel guilty....where does the guilt come from....I would say that he has expressed he wants children of his own...which is a natural request. If you both loved each other...there would be no questions on this subject...you both would realize that this relationship needs to end now...for this is not a minor issue.

You would not be writing here...if having a baby wasn't a big issue.
You would not be writing here...if you both agreed on the same resolution.
You would not be writing here...if you had time to really find yourself.
You would not be writing here...if you were totally healed.
Look at what the posters are writing...for many of us have been there and are trying to guide you from their own mistakes.

I just read an article about every 5 years of marriage take a year off of relationships. This time is needed for you getting through the 5 steps and also to find yourself. It doesn't sound like you have found yourself.

Really think about this...many of us have the experience and are here to help others and give their testimonies.

Blessings...LoveinHim