Dorry and Imsolost,

I dropped off my H this morning for his 5 1/2 month long trip. His (our) problem has been very sporadic for the past month. It seems to be getting a little better. We (the kids and I) got him a massage for father's day and he loved it. I've been giving him massages (w/ no expectations for further contact). They seem to relax him and he'll usually initiate a few hours later...most of the time successfully! )

Our MC said that if H weren't leaving so soon that he'd recommend to not even try sex for a week, but to continue to satisfy each other's other ENs. (I guess the back rubs were the right instinct).

Anyway, we sat out by the pool drinking champaign, talking and smoking cigars last night as our special good bye. Things were wonderful! He also said I gave the OW way too much credit/power and that he was still in love with me.

Thank you both for your helpful feedback,

that is GREAT news vows <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" /> EN's are so huge <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" /> they really help you feel so much more in love...and meeting his other needs, he may feel the stress lift, and confidence regain...and soon he may find his little friend down there wants to cooperate.

We satisfy all the other needs as we wait for my husbnad to climb this hurdle...and as much as the sex thing does bother me...if I had to choose sex or everything else...I am pretty happy with everything else...so i can wait.

Dorry,

I have a question. Sometimes I think that my H has "let go" too easily and I wait for the other shoe to drop. I made the comment, "when you fall back in love with me," in a conversation the other day and he looked confused and said, "I am in love with you." Like he never said the "I love you but am not in love with you" speech in Feb. Do all WSs have memory problems like this or is it more deception?

I sent him the ENQ via e-mail; we'll see if he finally fills it out.

We e-mail several times a day and he usually call at least once a day if he can get through.

I don't know if I should keep bringing the OW up or not. I want to express what i need from him should she ever try contacting him or if he gets tempted to do the same. Our MC said to pretty much concentrate on our R and put the OW behind us.

Vows,

We also experienced the same things. Actually his immpotence came about when he was hiding it and while I was in the process of trying to piece things together. Didn't help that one of the emails that triggered D-Day was about the fact that he "couldn't get it up" and the problem wasn't him, it was me. It's very difficult to forget those statements that are discovered or are made that we take so personally.

The Impotence was a temporary thing. Once everything came out in the open and we were discussing things, things began to improve in the bedroom.

As far as your situation with him being so far away and bringing up the OW. When it came to my husband going back to Ohio (where the A occurred), I have always been very open with him that I have reservations. I remind him that I worry about him being alone/so far away, but I don't ask the specific questions and don't give him cause to think too much about her. He tells me that he loves me and it's important to keep our time together focused on "us". It's good to share with him your apprehensions, and about what he will do in light of temptation, because temptation can occur anywhere not just with OW.

It's good that the two of you keep in contact via emails and phone calls. Keep the faith... keep your focus on what's important... your R, your M, and your kids. Take care!

SS

Dorry, WAT, SS, V, and ISL,

Thank you all for your help with my issues. This is just a note to tell you all that I've move my thread over to general questions II (?)

It always amazes me that people apparently don't have a problem taking pills to treat depression, or any other disorder, but wouldn't consider the same when it comes to impotence.

Ma'am, the solution is Viagra, Levitra, or Cialis. Think of it as another "sex toy" until his confidence comes back. And let him decide when he no longer needs to use it.

I guarantee that you will have more fun with SF and the bonding it brings once his mind is more on pleasing you and less on worrying about the launch being scrubbed before liftoff occurs.

Thanks MIM,

He actually had a prescription for viagra, but tore it up when they said he'd have to wait 5 days to have it filled. It was an insurance thing I think. He's overseas now anyway and doesn't need to take it there. Hopefully, the time and distance will help him relax more and get OW out of his mind.