WS has been in EA since late April with coworker whose family is friends with ours (children especially). WS claims they have agreed to NC for the good of both marriages, except for the necessary professional interaction in the office. Short of moving the family, I don't know what else we can do. OW's BS believes they are truly working for NC, but I don't know what to believe since OW's BS has been a WS himself in an EA (which is what contributed to my WS & the OW talking in the first place).

I've reached a point where I believe WS truly desires to restore our marriage and break the addiction, but some days he still comes across (at least to me) as being in the fog and spitting out fog babble! I want to try to work through Plan A on my own since I feel there are going to be more "slips" in the NC agreement. But how do you survive Plan A? How do you keep from crying all the time? How do you keep your head on straight when you know they are talking or text messaging or emailing?

Just seeking some guidance here -- I've read tons of posts but this is the first I've posted. Thanks for your advice.

Frustrated in FL

Welcome to MarriageBuilders, FFL...

Sounds like you've been reading a lot here. Plan A includes exposure...to the company, family (yours and his), friends...how much exposure have you done?

You read where Harley says no contact is the only way, correct? Not limited, professional...nothing. No contact for life.

You believe your WH really desires to recover, is that correct? Are you both in MC? Doing the questionnaires? Plan A is about being authentic...becoming open and honest, owning your own thoughts, feelings and beliefs...not looking for your spouse to cure you of what is yours, and not allowing yourself to believe you can cause, control or cure him of what is his.

Find out where your crying is coming from...is it sadness, grieving? Is it from feeling replaced, second best? From fear? Pain? Anger? I cry for a lot of different reasons.

I've been in your place, FL...my WH worked with his OW, also...and I waited three months before he recommitted to the marriage and transferred away from OW. Hard place...I spent that limbo, pain time, working on myself...finding out about me, and learning to live respectfully.

We have a marvelous marriage now...there is laughter, trust, radical honesty, no enmeshment, peace and intimacy.

LA