I took a break for awhile becasue I had to. I was living the mess and then coming here and living everyone else's mess. But I am stopping into say I am doing well.

Lot has happened - WH filed for divorce, I caught MOW and WH together, he physically hit me, the emotional abuse continued. And I was near a breakldown.

And then - I slowly let it go. All of it. Began to look at my life in a whole new light and began seeing the opportuniutes I had before me. And I stopped trying to save my marriage - just let it go....

I went inot a plan B - a firm one. And it worked for me - it prepared me for the end of my marriage. And 8 weeks after Plan B he filed and I was ready. I shed a few tears when I got the papers, more becasue of the loss of a dream, then the loss of my WH.

And now - I can say while I care for him, I do not love him and would never want to be with him again. It doesn't make the loneliness any easier to bear, but I know that I am happier now than I have been in a long time.

SO the positives that have come out of this?

I ahve lost 64 pounds, started into regular exercise, applied to Yakle for my Masters, am considering a move that would be better for me, my children and provide a better income for me. Eating better, finally sleeping again. Made amends with my parents, reconnected with my sibs and planned our first vacation. Started dating - VERY SLOWY - I should add and made many new friends.

And I have no regrets.

You can't fix a marriage when only one party is willing os I figured out how to fix my life and am much happier.

OK - guys - I finally got a clue!

Thanks - Jan

OOPS - I should say that I was JANCANCROP before. I changed things awhile back because MOW and WH were snooping around.

Snickers-
I don't think I've posted to you before, but it sounds like you are in a happier place than you were. Plan B, when done completely, certainly paves the way to a more certain feeling when ending the M. How are your kids taking it all?

Congrats on the weight--I'm working on that angle, too, and we're about the same age.

BTW, now that I've read your new screen name, I'm heading off to the kitchen to look for chocolate...mmmmmm.

OH - and he is still in his fog - it never even thinned.

Blames me for the marriage falling apart, for ruining his life. Says he will never forgive me and is so angry.

I still have no idea what he is angry about.

Imanotherone -

Snickers is not only my favorite chocolate it was also the name of our family dog. We also had Cocoa the cat.

But yes - I love CHOCOLATE!!!

Snickers... your story is far from a "sad" ending. You sound fabulous. Taking control of your life, pursuing your dreams, feeling happiness in your heart again, making lots of new friends... we should all be so lucky.

Well done, and best of luck to you.

Cat and Dog named after chocolate....

Sounds like a

RECIPE

for weight gain for me!!! LOL!!


I think I'm going to get a dog and name it, "Getupoffthatsofaandworkout."
My cat will be called, "handsoutofthecookiejar!"

Snickers...

You are proof positive that not all MB SUCCESS stories end in marital recovery...You ARE a MB SUCCESS story...Don't forget that! Good for you! Btw, his anger is at himself...Maybe someday he will realize that you can't run from yourself..."wherever you go, there you are", ya know?

Mrs. W

P.S. IMA, YOU JUST CRACK ME UP...GIRL YOU ARE TOO FUNNY!!! I'm gettin' a goldfish named "quit-bein'-a-slob" and a companion for him called "clean-yo-house"! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />

So sorry you weren't able to bring WH back to the marriage, Jan. Regretfully, you cannot love someone who doesn't want to be loved. You've come out of this with your sanity and your self-respect intact, with goals that rose out of the difficult times you've gone through. Kudos, lady.

I'm really sorry that things didn't work out for you but, you sound as though you are coming to terms with it and you are out of the situation to the extent that you can now see it as it really was.

I'm getting close to a final resolution (D) but still too close to the situation for comfort.

I hate it that we all don't have happy endings that end in a recommittment of the marriage but I also love to read the posts of those who came out on the other side with a positive outlook and whose lives are going on and getting increasingly better.

Thanks for sharing a positive story. It really helps those of us who know it's over to have the affirmation that we won't die without them.