Yes, escape!

I NEVER, EVER, EVER want to be trapped again.

Oh my GG does marriage = trap? Yikes! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/eek.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/pfft.gif" alt="" />

Sounds like things have at least simmered down a bit. His answer of "I changed my mind" was...kinda selfish. Not thinking about how you might feel or how it might affect your evening. I wonder if he would see it this way.

OK, back to ME. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/pfft.gif" alt="" /> I have two tentative dates scheduled for this week. One Wed. One Sat. I'm going to put on my free spirit hat & be my open, interested, can be fun self whether I like these men or not. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" /> I'll keep you posted.

Good for you. Dating is an adventure for sure.

Well, the I just changed my mind was a poor response and excuse. It did nothing to help me get over my reservations.

On the other hand, I don’t think M realized how upset I was and how I felt let down, especially for no reason at all. I think he has a better understanding of how I felt. Let’s see if it happens again.

Can't wait to hear the details nams.
I'll be watching for the updates.

Have fun.

Hope things are getting clearer on your end GG!
Will watch for updates on your end as well.

Karona

Interesting that he was able express a deeper explanation later on (not wanting to be part of extended family at this time). Even if he hadn't wanted to go because of not wanting to be a part of your extended family at this time, what's going on that he couldn't express that directly to you? He cancels at the last minute....says he changed his mind, there's no deeper explanation. Huh?

Okay, he's not social or he's shy or self-centered, or whatever......How is he working on contributing to your ENs? Sounds like you're doing most of the work to me. Even if it is your "own insecurities", etc,. the point is that you are dealing with those feelings. If he's interested in building a relationship with you how is he working to understand your ENs and seek to meet them?

Making a comment about changing his mind and "there is no deeper explanation" sounded like a real cut off to me. Done, Nada, No more discussion, because HE wasn't interested in further discussion. As it was, there was a deeper explanation.

I'm sorry but this is starting to throw up red flags for me about having an "All About Me!" personality! Ok so he's never been married, no kids, etc. Is he making any efforts to compromise, reach a POJA on things important to you? Even if they're not particulary important or troublesome to him?

He could be the nicest guy in the world, but not necessarily the best "partner" in a relationship. There are alot of things that could be used to excuse or explain his behaviors and attitudes. Many seem to be related to his long time single status. But, how long is it okay to use that as an excuse or explanation? That doesn't resolve the impact on the relationship.

If he is content living his life as he has as a "single"
"never married" man, how motivated is he to want to change some of his focus from "me" to "we" on a CONSISTENT basis?

Just my thoughts.

Heartmending, I don't think M has an "all about me" attitude. Actually, I know he doesn't. Yet, just because he thinks about others, doesn't mean he really wants the family lifestyle.

So far, M meets my needs nicely. He more than meets my financial security needs based on a dating relationship. He's good at affection and conversation. And while it's difficult for him to discuss his feelings sometimes, he eventually does. I wouldn't say I'm the only one doing all the work. I am probably the only one struggling with a lot of fear. LOL.

In general, my emotions have shut down a bit after Sat.