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How to live in perennial pain 101
If your life has become too "standard brand" & "generic" ~midlevel happiness~ & boarderline yawningly predictable ... and you crave those highs and those lows ... here's what to do:
1. get on MY SPACE & present yourself as a single person ... or "married but looking"
2. go to classmatesdotcom, AKA the germination of ruination, and search for your old sweetheart
3. if you are in recovery from an affair (you own, or your spouse's)... give yourself permission to make one more contact with the OP ... for closure, naturally ....
4. if you are unhappy with the results of your actions, continue these same actions for years and years ... practice makes perfect
5. wallow in your anger for as long as possible ... because that way, you cannot be expected to assume uncomfortably fitting responsibility garments
6. make certain that all your efforts are focused on getting him/her to change
7. take the humor out of every corner of your life & replace it with dour glumness & never crack a smile no matter what
8. deny yourself simple pleasures
9. beat yourself up where everyone can see so you garner sympathy & befrend no one who holds you responsible for your self-inflicted wounds
10. *and the grand-daddy-o* of all deliciously painful choices ... make certain your spouse & your your children are miserable because of your decisions ... why should they be happy when you can't be ???
You follow these guidelines ... without fail, those highs & lows missing from your humdrum life will most certainly appear... and that "alive" feeling is such a rush ... as everyone around you circles the drain
[color:"red"]feel free to add your own suggestions [/color]
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11. When in pain, seek sympathy not advice from others. Sympathy feels nice, like the love of a favourite Auntie, but advice usually requires you do something that's uncomfortable. Yuk. Nasty stuff.
MB Alumni
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LOL...Dead on the money!!!
Mrs. W
FWW ~ 47 ~ MeFBH ~ 50 ~ MrWonderingDD ~ 17 Dday ~ 2005 ~ Recovered
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12. when caught in an obvious lie ... NEVER back down from the lie
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13. Remember that your situation is absolutely unique. Proven templates and techniques NEVER apply to you. Reinventing every wheel can help keep you in perennial pain longer.
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14. avoid conflicts & annoying radical honesty
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15. Run away, take your toys, and promise never to return. 16. Return. <I have used this one many times, with varying success <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/wink.gif" alt="" />>
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Whine, beg and plead when you can't get your way...
when this doesn't work start throwing things...especially your favorite things...throw hard so these favorite things WILL BREAK INTO PIECES and can't be fixed...
in other words..resort to two year old behavior in times of crisis...
Last edited by mimi1254; 06/24/06 06:40 PM.
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18. Make certain to blame everyone else for your misery but yourself (include the GOV'MENT)...After all shifting BLAME is such a lost art form and makes you so very unique and original... <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/rolleyes.gif" alt="" />
19. Constantly decide that you will be happy when or if ________. NEVER, BUT NEVER CHERISH THE PRESENT!!!
FWW ~ 47 ~ MeFBH ~ 50 ~ MrWonderingDD ~ 17 Dday ~ 2005 ~ Recovered
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20. Adopt the Scarlett O' Hara Philosopy of Life..."I won't think about that today, I'll think about that tomorrow!"...Procrastination is a great way to move forward...
FWW ~ 47 ~ MeFBH ~ 50 ~ MrWonderingDD ~ 17 Dday ~ 2005 ~ Recovered
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13b. Remember that your situation is absolutely unique, just like everybody else's!
-ol' 2long
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21: Go 2 a forum like this one and ask for help, but only from people who've been "in your shoes" (which look silly on you, by the way).
22: Swear that you can't end your A, because you've met your @$$holemate, but since you know what you're doing is wrong, you're going 2 talk 2 your spouse about the problems in your M without mentioning the small matter that you're in an active, sordid A, and promise US (people who don't know you) that you will wean yourself off the OP in stages.
-ol' 2long
P.S. I dealt with such a goof on another 4um yes2rday and 2day. I didn't paraphrase much.
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I'm not here looking for help. Just observing.
Threads like this one always make me shake my head.
Those people I guess this is directed at, have little chance of getting an Aha moment out of this, so it's more like laughing at the poor miserable slobs who are still fouled up inside their infidelity maze. Oh ho aren't they amusing - not.
It seems very freudenschade and thus unhelpful and meanspirited in my honest assessment.
It makes me lose respect for some of you, who I would otherwise admire.
It's why I never cared for a certain poster from the beginning. She was so great at pointing out others' splinters and now the log in her own eye is in plain view to anyone who sees.
I've always been turned off by people who put down others in order to make themselves look or feel better.
I just hope you all think about that, and maybe try some constructive humor instead, because it's a disservice to yourselves, all of the posters on this thread are better than this.
[color:"#39395A"]***Well, it's sort of hard to still wonder if you were consolation prize in the midst of being cherished.***
- Noodle[/color]
Devastation Day: Aug 26, 2004
[color:"#2964d8"]"I think we have come out on the other side... meaning that we love each other more than we ever did when we loved each other most." [/color]
[color:"#7b9af7"]
~Archibald MacLeish[/color]
Very Happily Married
Me FBS - 44
Him FWS - 51
I married him all over again, May 07
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I'm not here looking for help. Just observing.
Threads like this one always make me shake my head.
Those people I guess this is directed at, have little chance of getting an Aha moment out of this, so it's more like laughing at the poor miserable slobs who are still fouled up inside their infidelity maze. Oh ho aren't they amusing - not.
It seems very freudenschade and thus unhelpful and meanspirited in my honest assessment.
It makes me lose respect for some of you, who I would otherwise admire.
It's why I never cared for a certain poster from the beginning. She was so great at pointing out others' splinters and now the log in her own eye is in plain view to anyone who sees.
I've always been turned off by people who put down others in order to make themselves look or feel better.
I just hope you all think about that, and maybe try some constructive humor instead, because it's a disservice to yourselves, all of the posters on this thread are better than this. -10Swords <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/rolleyes.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/rolleyes.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/rolleyes.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/rolleyes.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/rolleyes.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/rolleyes.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/rolleyes.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/rolleyes.gif" alt="" /> Pep...Look Over Your Shoulder For Ashton Kutcher, because I'm CERTAIN that you must be getting PUNKED here... FWIW, as a FWS, I can see my past SICK self in many, if not all of the points posted...AND IT's GOOD TO JUXTAPOSE MY NEW SELF WITH MY OLD FROM TIME TO TIME!!! Allows me to see how far I've/we've come...So, it helped someone... Mrs. W
FWW ~ 47 ~ MeFBH ~ 50 ~ MrWonderingDD ~ 17 Dday ~ 2005 ~ Recovered
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10S,
I take full responsibility for what I wrote, and can tell you that:
A. I wasn't putting anyone down, and in fact, shared something I've done that hasn't worked very well FOR ME.
B. My post wasn't directed at anyone in particular.
Pepperband spoke of ways that we wallow in painful patterns (she called it "perennial pain"), and I have a good deal of experience, so I shared.
I'm tired of being told (either directly or passively, as you are doing) that my words and thoughts are wrong... or that I should be ashamed of myself for sharing them.
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thank you for your contibution Swords maybe try some constructive humor instead I think this is a very constructive list ... <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" /> and furthermore you have no idea where I got this idea ... I was thinking about Love Medicine and Miracles a book about cancer writen by Dr Bernie Siegel ... and I was recalling when I went to hear him speak ... and he shared a list he had "borrowed" from a HIV gay man he was friends with ... and the list was "How To Get Sick and Die" ... and it listed all the stuff one could do when they are HIV positive that would virtually insure a much more rapid decline into the end stages of illness ... and I also discussed the movie Road To Perdition with my H today ... it's a very DARK movie BTW ... and I started putting a list in my head as to how to NOT survive infidelity ... like reverse psychology one uses on a little kid ... "Do not eat that carrot ... it's got muscles inside & you don't want any muscles." so guess what ... this thread was a product of my mind-droppings ... and although you have expressed your displeasure and reservations ... I simply do not care why? because it served a purpose for me to write it and if no purpose was in it for you I'm actually fine with that... do me a favor click on my name & choose the IGNORE this user feature thanks Pep <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/cool.gif" alt="" />
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NBII I really liked your reference to your numerous "goodbye cruel world" exit posts I love that part of you that can giggle at your own past follies... it moves us closer together, I think ! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/laugh.gif" alt="" /> Pep
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Not helpful
Last edited by KiwiJ.; 06/24/06 11:30 PM.
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I bet it's NOT you Jen !!! How much is the bet? hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm? <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/laugh.gif" alt="" />
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