Point well made and completely understood. thanks.

Unfortunately you and I both know that Rob is a far better man than me. You have a lot to be thankful for.

Let's see where gemela and I get to. I think we are a long way off from that conversation. But I won't forget your message when (and if) it happens.

I was just going to add that Rob IS an exceptional man. I don't think he's a better man than you but he is exceptional and I am thankful I have him.

I hope it happens for you one day soon.

Do you know something? Thinking back to the e-mail I received on that Monday morning after the funeral on Friday where we'd caught up, chatted and bantered about the "old" days. If I'd never received another word from him I would have thought "yeah, the old days were fun but they're gone now." I remember my first reaction when I received the e-mail at 8.30am on the Monday morning. It was "Oh sh**". I was so naive.

I have no excuse for my recent behaviour. Only that the fact of being pursued seems to be my Achilles heel. I was in a place where I knew I would never contact him again.

Anyway, I have to go.

Take care.

A startling admission Jen. How are you going to make sure if (when) he pursues you again you will not be vulnerable?

KiwiJ period has left the building.

I'm telling you Pio, the period is much more insidious than Suzet's asterisk.

The BigK, how are you? I enjoy your posts. You are a launched torpedo searching for the warmth of truth.

Still getting your nightly 90 minutes I see. Good to see you getting some much needed rest.

BTW. Is it KiwiJ period or KiwiJ full stop? I speak American English but they don't. Keep that in mind.

No sleep last night at all. Going for forty eight hours straight. I will tell you if I hallucinate.

i'd say full stop.

i'm well todd - how are you?

See, I've never heard full stop before.

That's even trickier. KiwiJ full stop.

Fair to midlin BigK.

Piojitos and ToddAC,

I see you both are still fascinated (or ‘bothered’) by the asterisk after my screen name, so here you can read about the story behind the asterisk and at the time, why some other posters has also start to put asterisks (or other symbols) behind their names.

Since I can’t change Suzet* back to Suzet (my previous screen name with a different pass word), maybe I can try the full stop too to make it less “insidious”. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/crazy.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />

ToddAC does not speak for me with regard to non-alphabetic characters in screen names. Personally I feel he is obsessive about it. I simply filter them as previously explained. I simply prefer the unadulterated screen name. (This is a good thing since non-alphabetic characters seem to be no longer allowed.)

Are you Suzet with a star? Suzet with an asterisk? Suzet with a multiplication sign? Suzet with a snow flake? It is simply too ambiguous. Maybe it has intrigue. If it is what you like and you are comfortable with it, keep your star/asterisk/whatever and tell ToddAC to go get stuffed.

I am still trying to get used to my WW having an affair. Bigger fish and all that.

KiwiJ.,
Thanks for your input; I know everyone is different but I often wonder how others react especically when they aren't verbalizing.

Hi Suzet*,

Fascinated, yes.

Bothered, no of course not.

I meant it in the most humorous way possible.

And BTW, I do speak for Pio. He hates to admit it publicly but it is true.

I apologize if I offended you.

<img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

Can't sleep? Don't need much sleep? Too busy for sleep?
I myself am not big on sleep but after extended periods will crash and burn...Starbucks is my best friend...my comfort food...ok my drug of choice since it's legal and socially acceptable to be a javaholic!

Since an early age, I have always felt that sleep is a waste of time.

So are you musically inclined, multilingual and hold down a power job or two with all this nonsleep time????

"I haven't read all of your post and am not going to either. Whatever happened before the A could have been resolved in many different ways. An A is never justified for any reason. Whether I have changed or not or if I feel I have is fairly unimportant. The only thing that really matters for gemela is how SHE feels."


How bad that you havent read all my post... I think you are on defensive, or you dont accept some trues that I explain there.
Is this your way to solve the things that you are not agree? just to ignore it? ok its your choice, and I just try to share my thoughts..as a WS, mexican
I agree with you when you say tnat any A has any justified.. and I was not try to doing that.. NOOOO!! I just want to explain my thought about why gemela is having this behaviour, and I think she is not the witch (bruja?) in this tale.. she is "drug", or sick... and I think your reaction after D day has not helping here to be health (emotionaly)

About your words
"Whether I have changed or not or if I feel I have is fairly unimportant."
I want tell you that if you REALLY want to be with your W and with your M.. you should be worry to know what can YOU do in order to keep your love alive, and as a consequence your M.. not because your DD, because YOU...
I know is not easy,, I have live similar situacion, I tried to fill my H needs and its so difficult if he shows me indiference.. but (until now) I keep trying..

Why you are not intereting in know WHY and WHEN did you leave to be gemela's best friend? I thinks this is important, because.. if you were a friendo for her,, she would have the confidence to share with you her feelings...
and she wouldnt told you lies...

Its just my opinion...

Big K, I didn't think that was a startling admission, I think I have learned a great deal. If I haven't learned anything in the last 3 months I am a simpleton. The answer is NC, it's drop the groceries and run NC, it's look the other way NC. It's consider Rob and our marriage NC.

To be honest the only thing occupying my thoughts right now is work. I am in an extremely stressful situation with my (woman) colleague and it's only Rob picking me up, dusting me off and pushing me off to work with words of support, that's keeping me going. SHE IS NOT GOING TO WIN THIS BATTLE, I AM.

Kiwij
I understand your point.. and even I dont know your hole story,.. NC is hard, but is the best for ourselves...
In my case my H havent given all support that I need not just because my work, incluse because a sickness that I have.. and this made more difficult NC.
THere are days that, Im tentent to call OM, just to chat.. but I know that this is bad, and this would be the worst thing that I can do right now.. because my H had given me a "second chance" and I need to put all my effor... but when my H shows indiference and when I feeling blue.. I miss OM..
My H became a violent man, and inclusive if he read this, he would get furioous.. and I know he has the right to do that, but that dont help our M either...
sorry, this is not my thread.. I just want to share with you this,,,
My H is reviewing my laptop at home, and my phone, and everything and I couldt write this in that laptop because this can cause lot of troubles in home. (Even my NC has been succesful)
BTW I was so depressed and I look for an old friend, who told me "you should love your H the was as he is".

Sorry pio, this is your thread,,,,
Im leaving this right now... <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/crazy.gif" alt="" />