Pio, do you think you're a pariah because your plan A didn't work? Well, lump me into that same group.

You don't have control over the outcome of a plan A only its implimentation & the thoroughness with which you follow it. Gemela made her own poor choices. Some people will screw up all the opportunities they been presented not even recognizing that they are opportunities. You can't control this.

I'm sorry you're dealing with HPV. Am I correct in the assumption this was a result of g's A? I don't know if this helps but I have a friend with herpes. She has had a few relationships & is in a long term relationship that involves sex. Herpes is not a problem for her partner. I dated a man casually for about 6 months who had herpes. He was not someone I could see having a long term relationship with so we are friends now. But, if he were someone I felt could have been a partner the herpes would not have stopped me.

Myrta, I hope you don't mind me asking, feel free to not answer if you'd rather not, do you live in Spain?

I ask because I lived in Spain about 4 years ago for about a year & loved it. We lived in Madrid & for a brief time in Colminar Viejo.

Gemela denies that the HPV is a result of the A. All I know is that I never had any symptoms for 9 years. She has an A and since I have had two outbreaks. This second outbreak has lasted since January - not kidding.

My suspicion is that OM did not have HPV during the A but got it when he went to the UK fr his vacation. When he came back, I believe that is when he spread the good will. I realize HPV can lie dormant for extended periods but it is hard to believe that I didn't get it as a result of the A.

We did not have SF for weeks after I found out about the A and I was aorried about STD's. Maybe I was paranoid but very soon after we had SF that first time, I had a strange feeling down below. It was a sort of tingling that just wasn't quite right. I kept telling myself it was paranoia. A couple of weeks later, the sores broke out. This time I have them on my legs. I had one that was big, red and really painful. I bought a leg brace to try to keep it from rubbing against other things. I think it popped because it is all dried up now. I still have more that aren't so big. My "weewee" [I think that is the technical term Mel Brooks used in the movie High Anxiety] feels like it has a fresh mosquite bite 24/7. It is very difficult to sleep because it itches. I look like a professional baseball player because I can't stop scratching. It is hugely embarrassing. Can I be more graphic? Are you eating dinner?

To answer Myrta's question, no I never really believed that our M might be over until I found the love letters and photos. That moment changed everything for me. Prior to that, I really did believe it would somehow work out.

One of the things that pissed me off the most was that ex never admitted to an affair. I could have dealt with anything just as long as we were open & honest with each other. Never happened. I just made up my mind to believe he had an affair. It helped me to move forward. I guess you can make up your mind to believe gemela gave you HPV.

The dishonesty leaves one in an uncertain position & makes it difficult to find closure since there are uncertainties. In my case I don't know with 100% certainty ex had an affair. He denied & I was unable to confirm. Do I have an STD as a result of his affair? I don't know.

It's been more than 3 years since I was intimate with ex. & there's been no one since. I'll get myself tested at my next Dr. appointment in about a month. I don't know why I've waited really. No symtoms of anything I suppose, & maybe in part because I don't know for sure he was with someone else.

Nams?...if so, exactly at what time would you need to go to sleep?



Pio....how about fitting in some 'adult' company and spend some time with friends? ...or expect your vocabulary to drop...

On my end, I have this big house....it's a rainy weekend....so, can't get ahead with my outdoor painting maintenance job.... I may just mustar up enough energy to gather a few friends over for supper....and share this big house...I was thinking of a 'society game' night.....because it would be a mixed bag of friends.....and this could help break the 'ice'....

...this is just in the 'planning stages'....trying to visualize myself doing it...will see if I go through with it.....it's what I WOULD like to do.... haven't 'hosted' since WS left.... it would be another step up the mountain for me......

yeah....Pio...'celibacy' is the WORD..... for me, it would be 'trust' issue that I would need to work out first..... and not a lack of candidates.... have been known to turn heads....and have just been recently confirmed....that I still do!



No....you have made it quite clear what ONE of your issues would be

Anyway...off to pick up my DS10 at school.....

Pio.....another question that 'flew' into cyberspace..... how come your weekends are in the middle of the week?...is this a religious thing in SA, or what?

Hey Luna! Haven't seen you for a while.

Getting up at 4:30 was not by choice & I avoid getting out of bed at that time like the plague normally. Just couldn't sleep.

I'm getting closer to my decision about school & now that I may actually have to commit to it I'm getting nervous.

Last night was back to school night for my two youngest. Last year on the same night I'd spoken to the art teacher there about going back to school to become an art teacher. When I saw her this year she asked me what I'd decided & we talked about what I thought my choices are. She was very supportive of the art teacher idea & pointed out some issues with the elementary ed. which her daughter has recently graduated in.

So, I'm leaning very heavily in the direction of art ed. The commitment makes nervous & being a poor sleeper to begin with having something on my mind throws me for a loop.

On a positive note I'm making plans with a man for Sunday afternoon. I'm more excited about this man than the last. I'll keep you posted.

Nams, I just KNOW that you will never, never regret doing the art ed.

Don't be nervous. What's that ridiculous saying "Feel the fear but do it anyway."

Hey - I'm with Pio. Real men don't visit Spa's!!

Hi Nams,



....and the point is?..... because it would be a problem if you WEREN'T!



....I suspect my post to you on this subject may have been lost to cyberspace..... but my 'bottom line'....was that, if you could swing it, I support your doing more than just 'leaning'......GO FOR IT!



...and this would be the man you have 'up your sleeve' I suppose?



Hi BigK..... real men would also not be 'threatened' by the mere SUGGESTION of going to a SPA's......LOL

Tell me, BigK...are you speaking from experience? LOLROF!

Hi Nams....No, I dont live in Spain. I live in Washington,DC area <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />. Although my dad is from Puerto Rico and my mom is from Spain; I was raised in Puerto Rico. Have visited Spain, and absolutely love it too. I cannot wait to go there again(probably next year). HOw come you live there all those years? Work related?

Take care

Myrta

Friday is the Muslim "sabbath" day amd Thursday has been the traditional day of rest for the weekend. AFAIK, all Middle Eastern countries orient their weekend around Friday. More recently, some countries have tried to align themselves more with the West and have made Friday and Saturday the weekend. Having lived her working for US companies in the past, the shift in weekends coupled with the time zone change only gives you about 3 working days to deal with the home office. Moving Thusrday to Saturday adds a useful day of communication.

Our calendar is based on the lunar month and we have about 15 (+/-) fewer days a year than you do. I think it is currently something like the year 1427 here (but don't quote me) but we are catching up. I did an estimate one time to see when the Gregorian and Hijrah calendars would coincide. I decided I probably wouldn't be alive by then so gave up interest.

Myrta,

I've never been to Spain... but I kinda like the people.

Thanks for explanation, Pio.

Okay as usual I got it wrong. It wasn't weewee. Here is teh Q&A portion of Dr. Thorndyke's speech at the psychiatric convention AFTER a doctor shows up with his small children:

THORNDYKE: And so, in conclusion...

...let me reiterate...

...that there are no rules.

That each patient is a supreme individualendowed with those qualities...

...that distinguish the human being...

...from the slime from which he emerged.

Thank you.

THORNDYKE: Yes, Dr. Colburn.

COLBURN: May I ask you a question?THORNDYKE: Certainly.

Dr. Thorndyke, you mentionedin your address that penis envy...

...should be deemed an antiquated psychiatric concept.

Could you expand on that?

THORNDYKE: Of course.

Let's rememberthat the term "penis envy"...

...was created in a predominantlymale atmosphere...

MAN: Excuse me.

Sorry I'm late.

Forgive me for bringing the kids.I couldn't get a sitter.

THORNDYKE: Please, have a seat.

As I was saying, in a world ofpredominantly male-oriented psychology...

...it was only naturalto arrive at the term, pee...

Pee...

"Peepee envy. "

Are you saying there's absolutelyno validity to...

...peepee envy?

It has no more validitythan if a man envied a woman's...

...balloons.

Dr. Thorndyke, do you feelthat the trauma of toilet training...

...has a bearing on the sexual futureof the adolescent?

Toilet training. That's a vast area.

Let's be more specific.Are we talking about...

...number one or cocky-doody?

For argument's sake, let's say cocky-doody.

THORNDYKE:I'd say professionally, cocky-doody...

...has very little to do with the futuresexual development of the adolescent.

-Thank you.-You're welcome.

Let me backtrack for a second.The female erogenous zone.

-You mean the balloons?-No. Lower, much lower.

Where the babies come out. The woowoo.

The woowoo?

THORNDYKE: Yes. The woowoo.

Perhaps the most significantpsychological feminine component...

...known to mankind.

(Cheers and whistles)

Myrta, the family, ex, me & our three boys, lived in Spain about 4 years ago. We lived there for almost a year. ex's job brought him there. It was to be a two to three month job that turned into more.

It's a beautiful country with great people. I like that it's not huge. Because we lived in Madrid, which is in the center of the country, we could take weekend trips just about anywhere in Spain. The food was to die for.

Luna, the man up my sleeve. I know that sounds disrepectful & I don't mean it that way. I only say it that way because the people you "meet" online are like smoke & until I meet him he's not "real" & therefore a man to be keep up my sleeve. When my friend uses that phrase she means it more in the sense of a man on the back burner which I think is closer to what the actual expression means.

Kiwi & Luna, I don't think I'll regret art ed. I think I'm just nervous now that I'll have to do it rather than just think about it. Plus all the usual concerns; will I be able to finda job, about ability; do I know enough about art history, about printing, photography etc. I'm a potter & I draw, the other stuff I left behind a long time ago in college. The questions of can I? are creeping in. I am confident person & I do know I can do this it's just...

BigK, if we didn't call it a spa would it have more appeal? Man's Massage Den? Working Man's Foot Care Center? Manly Men Facial Shop?

If there were tools on the sign I'll bet Pio & Todd would want to go.

Pio, LMAO. I guess it's better than vahjayjay.

Nams, can you???? OF COURSE YOU CAN. Good luck with the sleeve man BTW.

Weewee, hoohoo, winky, woowoo, cocky doody.

I think I've done my boys a grave disservice by not using the proper terms for body parts that Pio has gone to so much trouble to point out.

For me, it needs to have "sweat" in the name although "sweat shop" has already been taken.

Sweat Gland Massage Center? Manly Men Sweat Bonding Shop?

Manly Sweaty Mens' Facial and Foot Exfoliating Shop

You'll have every gay man within 100 miles lining up to join.

LMAO Nams. I think cocky doody is No 2.

Thanks Kiwi! I know I can...I'm just...wobbly.