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piojitos #1689658 09/18/06 08:59 AM
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Yes piojitos, I had sex with him I never refused this,,, ever...
As you know I confessed almost everything to my H except for the sexual part... I have my reasons,, and these are violence, and my H threaten with kill himself.. he crased his car.. and well I explained to Tod that maybe when my Love Bank would be better that now, I could confess everything...
I NEVER EVER I denied my responsability about my A... or A's.... I dont need to explain someone like you but as you are the perfet MB member, well then Im going to do...
If I use another members logins here I have my reasons,,, I dont want to my H review all details here.. thats why... I had explained this very well...
I havent used any information that I have read here to hurt anyone.. and you do piojitos... just read again everything you post here...
And if we are going to be honest here why you dont read all G's posts and CONFESS the real person that you are, or better said, the perfect and lovely husband that you have been,
Its not my style been such adorable as you has been here.. so Im not going to use this information... and because I respect G privacy....
If I didnt explain everything since my first post, yes I admited, but this again is because my H is reviewing all my internet access...
What do you feel I started to ventile (ventilar) all your dirty lanundry here?
Now I understood so good G' comments,,,,
Life your life piojitos.
I made my desicion and Im going to recover my M, and until I got professional help Im going to keep posting here, learning, and sharing my experience... maybe I can help someone....
Solo porque hables el inglés bien no te hace el MB miembro vengador... ocúpate de tus asuntos.... Y ahora veo como interpretas las cosas,, y entiendo muy bien a Gemela...si fuera la misma lacra como tu entonces usaría información personal para ventilarla acá... pero no lo haré solo por respeto a Gemela.... no por tí, asi que puedes seguir siendo el esposo perfecto pobrecito traicionado...
Todos tenemos lo que nos merecemos en este mundo recuérdalo..
Y aunque seas una víbora venenosa,, (raro que un hombre se comporte como tal) espero que si G decide intentar de nuevo contigo, por tus hijas, ojalá llegues a encontrar la paz y todo ese coraje que tienes la direcciones hacia algo positivo y tu familia pueda estar felizmente unida...

I didnt want to post in your posts because you dont support some things,, some others point of views, but as you were so charming to post in mine, I want to let you know this...

Sorry for my mispeling oh big piojitos!!

Myrta #1689659 09/18/06 09:20 AM
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Hola Myrta,
I want to let clear something,, piojitos is telling his version of the story.. Yes I admited that I was posting under others login's,, but Im not telling other stories...
At the beginning I posted here on D day.. I was dessperate, my H was drinking I looked for help, and In fact I found it...then I confessed everything,, for me this was difficult, and it helped me.. told hole story... sometimes I write in spanish because I can express myself better in my native language... I erases most of all these posts because I dont want that my H knows hole story by this way...and right now my Love Bank is amost empty and I want to put some deposits before reveal all to my H...
Thats the reason Myrta...
I havent told my H about my OS with OM, and I almost sure that this is going to finish my M.. believe me,,, is the worst thing that my H could support... I want to be a better wife and build a strong M..
I want to recover my M, and at least for now I dont want to reveal evertthing to my H....

xxxxx #1689660 09/18/06 09:27 AM
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Well....catch up day for me.....been busy this weekend.... if you missed my post....I had announced my PLAN to 'invite' a bunch of friends.....don't think I had 'hosted' this kind of get-to-together since WS left..

Well...people... I guess I am a lot more organized than I thought..... made myself a plan....schedule....lists..... and the get-to-together was a TOTAL success!

My 'home' has definitely got its 'homey' feeling back....if ever I had doubted it! ....and it's what I can at least offer the boys 'minus' dad.....which I can't do anything about!

....Now on to reading what's up with you guys!


XBW
DS16 & DS22
PLAN D: finalized!
lunamare #1689661 09/18/06 09:37 AM
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Hi Pio,

...I am with the 'gang' on this one.... if G insists on returning without discussing it with you first.... then you might need to consider letting her know ....that she needs to make arrangements for accommodations....as she has not yet made her intentions clear to you.....

..I would no longer insist that she not come.....can't really stop her even if you wanted to.....and anyway this would allow G to 'blame' you for not allowing her to see DDs....

Missed you guys!


XBW
DS16 & DS22
PLAN D: finalized!
lunamare #1689662 09/18/06 09:51 AM
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I'll be honest. I feel so disconnected right now that I'll just take whatever happens. There is nothing standing in the way of divorce any more. I hate to say that but I have been lurking over in Hiker's thread(s) and the more I read about the romantic affair, the less I want to stay married. Maybe I should stay away from those threads? Dunno.

lunamare? Is that something to do with the moon and the ocean?

piojitos #1689663 09/18/06 09:54 AM
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xxxxx #1689664 09/18/06 10:01 AM
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If regreted says anything worthwhile, give me a heads up. I thought she had gone away. Too bad she can't stay away. I hate liars. I have had to deal with a lying WW for the past year and I just can't tolerate yet another one. Sorry.

xxxxx #1689665 09/18/06 10:15 AM
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regreted (who is also known as tear) said (and can't delete)

Quote
Yes piojitos, I had sex with him I never refused this,,, ever...
As you know I confessed almost everything to my H except for the sexual part... I have my reasons,, and these are violence, and my H threaten with kill himself.. he crased his car.. and well I explained to Tod that maybe when my Love Bank would be better that now, I could confess everything...
I NEVER EVER I denied my responsability about my A... or A's.... I dont need to explain someone like you but as you are the perfet MB member, well then Im going to do...
If I use another members logins here I have my reasons,,, I dont want to my H review all details here.. thats why... I had explained this very well...
I havent used any information that I have read here to hurt anyone.. and you do piojitos... just read again everything you post here...
And if we are going to be honest here why you dont read all G's posts and CONFESS the real person that you are, or better said, the perfect and lovely husband that you have been,
Its not my style been such adorable as you has been here.. so Im not going to use this information... and because I respect G privacy....
If I didnt explain everything since my first post, yes I admited, but this again is because my H is reviewing all my internet access...
What do you feel I started to ventile (ventilar) all your dirty lanundry here?
Now I understood so good G' comments,,,,
Life your life piojitos.
I made my desicion and Im going to recover my M, and until I got professional help Im going to keep posting here, learning, and sharing my experience... maybe I can help someone....
Solo porque hables el inglés bien no te hace el MB miembro vengador... ocúpate de tus asuntos.... Y ahora veo como interpretas las cosas,, y entiendo muy bien a Gemela...si fuera la misma lacra como tu entonces usaría información personal para ventilarla acá... pero no lo haré solo por respeto a Gemela.... no por tí, asi que puedes seguir siendo el esposo perfecto pobrecito traicionado...
Todos tenemos lo que nos merecemos en este mundo recuérdalo..
Y aunque seas una víbora venenosa,, (raro que un hombre se comporte como tal) espero que si G decide intentar de nuevo contigo, por tus hijas, ojalá llegues a encontrar la paz y todo ese coraje que tienes la direcciones hacia algo positivo y tu familia pueda estar felizmente unida...

I didnt want to post in your posts because you dont support some things,, some others point of views, but as you were so charming to post in mine, I want to let you know this...

Sorry for my mispeling oh big piojitos!!


and this

Quote
Hola Myrta,
I want to let clear something,, piojitos is telling his version of the story.. Yes I admited that I was posting under others login's,, but Im not telling other stories...
At the beginning I posted here on D day.. I was dessperate, my H was drinking I looked for help, and In fact I found it...then I confessed everything,, for me this was difficult, and it helped me.. told hole story... sometimes I write in spanish because I can express myself better in my native language... I erases most of all these posts because I dont want that my H knows hole story by this way...and right now my Love Bank is amost empty and I want to put some deposits before reveal all to my H...
Thats the reason Myrta...
I havent told my H about my OS with OM, and I almost sure that this is going to finish my M.. believe me,,, is the worst thing that my H could support... I want to be a better wife and build a strong M..
I want to recover my M, and at least for now I dont want to reveal evertthing to my H....


and regreted/tear also said this

Quote
About this piojitos that you wrote me in my thread..

"You delete your posts because you don't want your H to know any of what you did. You came on MB as tear - a woman who only exchanged a few emails with OM, oh, and had a cup of coffee once. Then you became someone else (forgot the name) and then you became regreted the internet porn queen."

You are right in just one part, I dont want to my H knows the sexual part... I admited to him that I was involved with OM.. now I realized how discosting was my behaviour,, I had OS with this man, I had sex by internet, yes,, and even by phone,, with this OM.. but this doesnt means that Im the internet porn queen... LOL, now you made me laugh piojitos, and I want to say thanks to you....a big laugh in the morning always is useful. thanks pio...




And respect to this commment:

....."at least be honest with these people even if you wish to continue to lie to your husband."

Can you tell me where I lie in my last post? ... I just asked for an advice about sexual affection, and I fact I got it and it was useful for me...

"I don't think you have any chance of saving your marriage as long as you continue to lie. Only the truth will save you. Until you can accept that and deal with it, posting to you is a waste of time."
Let me explain you again something,, two days after D day my mom arrived to visit us, so she lived with me some of those terrible days.. she saw my H drunk and yealing, in a lock room, she listened my H screaming about killing himself.. she wanted to stop me when my H left home, and I started to followed him on the street.. I refused, and you know the finish...
My mother told me,, if you have SF with OM dont ever tell to you H..
My father by phone, told me,,, you dont need to confess everything to me, go to the church and confessed to a prist (cura) and look for God forgiveness..
I havent spoken with a prist (cura) I started to pray again since my D day.. I looked for forgivess, I went to the church but the prist wasnt there.. (I need to go again)
Maybe Im wrong but I think I learned the lesson, and I need to change me!!! just ME!!! I was the one that lied, I was the one that forgot the promise that I did on my weeding day. a promise that I did in front of God, in his house.. I failed, I was a stupid and selfish person, YES!! I deserved burned in ****** YES!!!
I was thinking just in me, I forgot even my little daughter, YES...
I was in a dusty "lodo"... un lodo lleno de mier... and I think that I need to work a lot to be a clean person again...
I need to change myself, I had lot of troubles, and my family doesnt have the fault to deal with them...
Im not a perfect person, and I want a second chance, and if this time I failed again, then I deserved to be alone for the rest of my life..
Im hanging this second chance-, and I want to have my M recovering.. Im going to put everything I can, do my best..
In fact, I applied some advices (larouse, lovinganyway, piojitos,etc etc) and I was improving my comunication with my H...
MAybe Im making another error hidding SF with OM, or internet, to my H.. but I think this is the only way to have a chance in my M...
How a society that is so traditional can accept something so nasty? .. believe me,,, I have heard my H what he thinks about stuff like this...


So now whatever tear / regreted has written cannot be deleted by here and, if her BH ever finds this forum, he will be able to finally see the truth without her lying about it.

Tear / regreted,

I did my very best to try to help you but I cannot support you continuing to lie to your H. The lies will destroy your marriage. You may get by with it for a little while but sooner or later your world is going to fall apart. If you would tell you H the truth, I would give you all my support. But I refuse to support a liar. Good luck.

piojitos #1689666 09/18/06 10:17 AM
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Hi Pio,

Quote
I'll be honest. I feel so disconnected right now that I'll just take whatever happens. There is nothing standing in the way of divorce any more. I hate to say that but I have been lurking over in Hiker's thread(s) and the more I read about the romantic affair, the less I want to stay married. Maybe I should stay away from those threads? Dunno.


OK...but you still haven't answered the question....what will you do when G. shows up at your doorsteps?

Stay away from any thread that will 'discourage' you...... what a BS needs most is support....and I don't mean the 'cross-your-heart' type!

....and Pio....figure out what it will take for you to connect to yourself first......

....that's what I am working on...I am finding that I am 'good company' more and more......

...and, Pio, tell me, what have you done lately, for yourself...other than your attemps at exfoliating your feet?

Quote
lunamare? Is that something to do with the moon and the ocean?


Yeap...

Quote
If regreted says anything worthwhile, give me a heads up. I thought she had gone away. Too bad she can't stay away. I hate liars. I have had to deal with a lying WW for the past year and I just can't tolerate yet another one. Sorry.


OK Pio....can't heal the wound yet keep hitting on it!

Haven't heard much about 'colour' schemes for your DDs... have you got it down to an 'art form' or was it just the first week?


XBW
DS16 & DS22
PLAN D: finalized!
lunamare #1689667 09/18/06 10:25 AM
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I was going to stay out of this, but.... since Regreted keeps popping up, thought I'd just throw in this:

I'm sure that in every situation involving more than one person, that there are two sides to every story, different views of reality, etc. We all can attest that an honest WS is a very rare commodity and that G has proven that she has lied repeatedly.

Given all that, if I had:

1. Had an affair
2. Had sex in my husband's bed
3. Done that with my young children in the next room
4. Continued contact and repeatedly lied about it

well... I would never expect to be given any chance at my marriage again. And if by some miracle, I were given a second chance, I would do everything in my power to make up for all I had done wrong, regardless of the supposed faults of my BH. But then, since I would do all that, I wouldn't have an affair in the first place.

I'm sure Pio hasn't been the perfect husband. He's admitted that he made mistakes and he's tried to change. The fact that he has been willing to give G a chance at all is says a lot about his character and the love of his daughters.

And who is here on MB trying to deal with this situation and find help? G tried a bit and then disappeared. My guess why is because she didn't hear what she wanted.

This is Pio's thread. I'm not saying that anyone should be excluded, but if you upset him when he needs help, then maybe you should let him alone. I don't see anything constructive coming out of this for him. I may offer advice or opinions that Pio doesn't agree with or that irritate him, but at least my intentions are good -- I'm trying to help him -- NOT justify my own behavior.

That's all I have to say, Regreted.

Pio, sorry to talk about you in third person. I don't have anything constructive to offer you right now or I'd try to help. I hope that things work out better than you're expecting. And just want to say that anyone whose favorite shows are "The Daily Show" and "The Colbert Report" is ok in my book. That alone scores you extra points.

GrownUp #1689668 09/18/06 10:59 AM
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Hey Grownup,

Don't worry about me. I am not sure what is bothering regreted so much but she is free to say whatever she wants just as long as she doesn't keep deleting it. I do wish her husband would find this forum because I think any BS deserves the truth. I don't see anywhere in SAA where it recommends lying to your BS as a way to salvage a marriage.

I am disappointed though - me not the perfect husband? Is that yet another DJ?

Quote
I wouldn't have an affair in the first place.


Never say never. That is when you are at greatest risk.

lunamare,

When am I going to do something for myself? I don't have time. The maid goes out every night from about 7:00 to 10:00 or 11:00. She makes me babysit! I'm doing okay. I have been stressed out the past few days over the impending return of WW but I am calm again. I had to apologize to DD1 yesterday because I was short with her and told her I was tired of fighting with her every single night to get into the bath tub. This was just after I found out that G was coming back in 12 days. I could have handled it differently.

I get up every morning at 3:30 and exercise and that is what I do for me. Between sets I fix something, build something, create something in the garage. It is a very productive time.

Is it the moon and the ocean or the moon and the tide?

GrownUp #1689669 09/18/06 11:00 AM
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Grown up...

I had stoped to post in piojitos thread's... I gave him my personal point of view about his case.. he didnt like my point of view, so I decided to stop in his thread's I said thank to him (you can read that in this thread.)

Then pio went to my post to shows his point of view.. in a "polite manner" ...

Believe me I just using the replica's right.. thats it..

You are right Grown up and this site is for help, and my last post here in this thread are just to clarify some issues mines just this...

Thanks for make my mind clear.. Grown up. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/rolleyes.gif" alt="" />

xxxxx #1689670 09/18/06 11:07 AM
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regreted,

you lie to your H and you lie to people on this site. I remember your first weeks posting. All you admitted to was an EA via email. Then you recently made a new thread and hid many facts. You lie to everyone and you lie to good people here at MB that take their time to try to help people that need help. Problem is, you don't want help. You want enablers to support your wrong view of things so you have to bend the truth to get it.

My only problem with you is that you are a lair.

piojitos #1689671 09/18/06 11:35 AM
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Hi Pio,

Quote
When am I going to do something for myself? I don't have time.


...maybe its time to get your super duper spreadsheet out to figure it out.... do the DDs have friends? ..... could you alternate looking after them as a 'group' and free up a couple of hours here and there with friends' parents? If your maid is out every night.... consider other 'babysitter' arrangements..... I think working out it great..... and working in the garage being productive is great, too...but I am thinking more of 'adult' contact...... go out for a beer with the guys.....I don't know.... I am not a guy! ....you see, personally, a couple days at a SPA....having people looking after me...would suit me just fine!

....but since you are 'stuck' on just the name of these places... hard to imagine you being IN one of them....LOL....

....you are going away for a few days....maybe you could fit something in during that time....



....BTW....this won't get you out of answering my question: what do you plan to do when G is at your doorsteps?

Quote
Is it the moon and the ocean or the moon and the tide?


Sorry...didn't know you wanted me to be more specific...
luna = moon mare = sea


XBW
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PLAN D: finalized!
lunamare #1689672 09/18/06 01:10 PM
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But all the beer here is NA beer. I don't see the point of NA beer. Why get fat without any of the benefit?

I am going to meet a coworker in Bahrain on Wednesday and he is going to buy me a beer. I am going to sit and feel sorry for myself and drink my beer.

Then I am going to buy a size 4 soccer ball because I only have sizes 3 and 5. I am going to nuy shin guards for DD2 because even though I know they have soccer on different nights, I would never ask DD1 to let DD2 use her shin guards. Then I am going to get a new snorer for the darn teddy bear. DD1 and I thoroughly discussed the required surgery. I assured her that with lasers, there will be no bleeding and no pain and her teddy will be up and around in a day with proper therapy.

piojitos #1689673 09/18/06 01:13 PM
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mare = sea in what language? That's where I am stuck.

piojitos #1689674 09/18/06 01:34 PM
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Pio with all due respect, Gemela did not have a romantic affair. She had an adolescent fantasy and it could have been Daffy Duck.

I keep trying to say how dangerous "non romantic" A's are. That is A's that have no little love notes or silly pet words or any of the other adolescent stuff that marks most A's.

Anyway, got to get to work.

KiwiJ #1689675 09/18/06 01:35 PM
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Italian or Latin.

xxxxx #1689676 09/18/06 01:53 PM
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HOla Regretted--=-Como sabes que tu esposo lee aqui? El chequea tus actividades en la computadora? Si es asi, puedo ver porque tengas temor de escribir con el mismo nombre. Pero................el hecho de que hayas dicho cuando eras Tear que no habias tenido sexo, y ahora dices, que si....pues no veo la razon. Cuando eras TEar, dijistes que solo habian intercambiado unas cartas y lo habias visto, pero que no habia habido nada fisico.

Regetted....si tu esposo lee todas las historias contradictorias, de que si, o que no....pues eso es peor. El va a cre er que hicistes mucho mas . Yo creo que si vienes aqui a pedir o buscar ayuda, debes venir con la verdad de frente. NO te sirve a ti ni a ninguno que trate de ayudarte, saber medias verdades.

Yo se que es bien dificil confesar las infidelidades pero si uno quiere realmente recuperar el matrimonio, o hacerlo mejor, hay que decir la verdad, y atenerse a las consecuencia. Si esta de que el no te perdone, pues, ese sera el resultado o consequencia de lo que hicistes.

Te recomiendo sinceramente. que no le mientas mas a tu esposo. Tienes que tratar de decirle lo que paso, y que realmente estas arrepentida. Y rogarle que te perdone, que tu lo quieres, y no quieres perderlo.

Escribeme en espanol si quieres

Myrta

Myrta #1689677 09/18/06 02:48 PM
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