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KiwiJ #1690158 09/23/06 01:56 AM
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This bothers me. Can you tell me why?


Because if she loved you and missed YOU (not just the girls) completely this wouldn't even be an option.

KiwiJ #1690159 09/23/06 02:03 AM
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larousse,

You now seem very concerned about my hygiene. I can only infer that it is in reference to my feet. If you have any suggestions as to what I can do with my feet, I am very interested. Don't keep me on my toes.

piojitos #1690160 09/23/06 02:06 AM
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There's nothing that can be done about your feet.


KiwiJ #1690161 09/23/06 02:06 AM
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Todd, you must know your wife like the back of your hand. I know that after 32 years of marriage to Rob, I know him better than I know anyone on earth.

Do you talk with each other like a "married" couple or has too much happened. I said a while back on here that d-day and the months after were the only times Rob and I ever felt uncomfortable with each other.

Not sure where I'm going with this. I think perhaps I'm saying that there has to be some common ground and history where you still connect.


As you know, WW is Latin. She is very excitable. I am very calm but extremely intense. When we talk about contentious subjects, my approach is to let her say what she has to say while I remain quiet and then I say my part while she remains quiet. The problem is that she approaches discussions very differently from me. She says her part and then when I get three words out, she interupts and starts arguing. I guess you could say is more interactive than I. Frankly, it drives me crazy. After she starts, I have one of two choices: talk over her and start a screaming match, which she seems to love and I hate, or shut down. If she is sober, I generally will wait for her to wind down and she will eventially realize her folly and allow me to talk. If she is drunk, well you can connect the dots.

One of the things she told me tonight was that she found it easy to talk with OM. I asked her what that meant. She couldn't put her finger on it. Either he sits there like a statute or he is also intereactive. But then, he is her soulmate so what would you expect?

ToddAC #1690162 09/23/06 02:09 AM
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Hmm Todd. I don't think you totally understand what Harley is saying really.


Me: 56 (FBS) Wife: 55 (FWW)
D-Day August 2005
Married 11/1982 3 Sons 27,25,23
Empty Nesters.
Fully Recovered.
KiwiJ #1690163 09/23/06 02:12 AM
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So, Todd, can you tell I'm drinking red wine.



Of course. Let me see, Vidal Estate Hawke's Bay Syrah?

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Rob's top EN is SF


Well, at least Rob and I have one thing in common. Actually, SF is my top three.

bigkahuna #1690164 09/23/06 02:13 AM
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Hmm Todd. I don't think you totally understand what Harley is saying really.

Hi Bigk,

I am sure you are right. I guess I just like Pittman's no nonsense, no blame the BS for WS's affair approach.

bigkahuna #1690165 09/23/06 02:17 AM
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Sorry, Todd, I can't help you with that. Rob and I have never fought. I've never fought with anybody (except Pio) in my life.

Rob and I have always treated each other with respect and if we do feel unhappy with each other we tend to clam up, rather than say anything that would hurt the other.

You knew you were getting an excitable Latina when you married her. Something about that must have been appealing to you.

When we went to the party the other night, I was rushing around kissing and hugging and "OMG you look great" to everyone. If Rob did that I'd faint clean away. I asked him if he minded that and that he must know that's what I'm going to do. He said it was part of me.

KiwiJ #1690166 09/23/06 02:21 AM
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LOL Todd it's Rob's top 3 as well. In fact, it's probably his top 10.

I certainly don't see Harley blaming the BS for the A.

Ooh, I'm impressed with the Vidal Estate remark.

piojitos #1690167 09/23/06 02:24 AM
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larousse,

You now seem very concerned about my hygiene. I can only infer that it is in reference to my feet. If you have any suggestions as to what I can do with my feet, I am very interested. Don't keep me on my toes.

Put your feet up on your table saw and cut off an inch on each second phalanges. That should fix you right up.

KiwiJ #1690168 09/23/06 02:28 AM
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Sorry, Todd, I can't help you with that. Rob and I have never fought. I've never fought with anybody (except Pio) in my life.


Everybody fights with Pio sooner or later.

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You knew you were getting an excitable Latina when you married her. Something about that must have been appealing to you.


Oh yeah, there was a lot that appealed to me. She and I are polar opposites which is a good thing. She is very exciting. I wonder what her top EN is?

ToddAC #1690169 09/23/06 02:32 AM
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I found Pio's feet slightly disturbing.

Feet have that affect on me.

I have a friend who is paranoid about anyone touching her feet. What's THAT all about.

Anyway, time to go.

KiwiJ #1690170 09/23/06 02:34 AM
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Don't you even KNOW what her top EN is?

Good grief.

Most people do marry their polar opposites. Too much competition otherwise.

Yes, most people on MB have had some variation of a fight with Pio. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

bigkahuna #1690171 09/23/06 02:34 AM
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Todd, I appreciate that you point out to me that I was a little agressive towards Pio. You are right that I project my issues on his issues on so many levels it's scary.

I'm sorry Pio, you have always been very patient with me and I have always felt that by allowing me to say my mind to you, you make me a favor. I mean I reflect about what I wrote and why and your answers and others answers and I keep learning.

Pio hasn't say I think but G birth place is famous for it's pretty women and their feminity. That state, Tabasco is in the coast, people is very friendly and feisty, they love to dance and celebrate. I have read G chats and posts and I don't feel identified with her on a generational level or family background. Maybe I see myself when I was deeply in love with a man older than me. Dunno.

I sincerly try to see his situation under MB perspective but I also see myself in him sometimes in the sense that I have the impression that he has a problem conecting the dots between his reactions, and what was the original feeling that caused them. Also I identify with him when he expects specific reactions of behaviors. I was like that, like I think he might be sometimes but maybe I'm wrong. Now I feel so liberated that I can speak my mind and say what I need and how. I also learnt somethign invaluable. Nobody makes me do anything, I have free will.

I have the impression that Pio get's easily ofended by G reactions now and that he forgets that he has a saying and that it's ok that he explains to her how things make him feel. I think G wants to stay married to him and that she likes him, physically but also that she fights with some lack of enthusiasm to go bac to an adversarial partner.

He has a saying, he can say, I preffer that you come back to SA right now or when we had decided or whatever are his desires. The more he can get in touch with what he really wants, really deep down, in his heart of hearts the less frustrated he would feel.

Sorry Pio, I talked about you as if you were not here.


Pio, sorry I was not talking about your hygiene, more like something I was thinking about these days. The comment I mentioned, done by Peachy something... was done to Dazedandconfused some months ago. His XWW was deeply pasionate about her OM and she suggested him to have somekind of makeover. Maybe I thought about that comment, Peachy comment because of Pool boys pics, his personal beauty aside, he's groomed, some fashion clothes, maybe bad clothes taste. Lol. I don't mean to disrespeact you Pio comparing you to pool boy. Maybe you are groomed and smell nice always, I dunno.

Todd thanks for your comments. I don't feel my opinions are as valide as the opinions of other married members but I know that I'm sincere in my desire to learn and to have a fullfiling relationship and hopefully one day marriage. I had lost all hope on having a loving relationship because of my past experiences and MB has helped me tremendously to work on me and to learn to overcome my frustrations in a relationship.

larousse #1690172 09/23/06 02:40 AM
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Larousse, pool boy is the worst kind of Englishman there is.

He was not in the least bit attractive in any way whatsoever.

I would bet my bottom dollar that Pio is better groomed, better educated, better looking and better everything else than that little loser.

KiwiJ #1690173 09/23/06 02:45 AM
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Don't you even KNOW what her top EN is?


I could certainly make an educated guess. After I bought SAA, we sat down and I asked her to complete the needs questionaire. She refused. She later threw the book away.

Anyway, my guess is that her EN's are, in order:

1. Affection
2. Admiration
3. Companionship
4. SF

ToddAC #1690174 09/23/06 02:48 AM
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I would probably put admiration above affection for your w. What about financial support?

I always thought I knew mine but they are not quite what I thought they were.

larousse #1690175 09/23/06 02:56 AM
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larousse,

I didn't intend for my comment to be negative, only descriptive.

KiwiJ #1690176 09/23/06 02:56 AM
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I would probably put admiration above affection for your w.


Why?

larousse #1690177 09/23/06 03:02 AM
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larousse,

please feel free to continue to post your mind. I have never had any complaint about anything you have said. My only negative reaction to some of your posts is that, every once in a great while, your timing just seems off. For example, what you posted a little while ago does not seem relevant to me right at this moment. I am not saying it is right or wrong. It just seems other things have to happen.

For example, right now my highest priority is to do something about my feet - if possible.

Second highest is Gemela has to commit to the M.

One thing that I thought was strange about ToddAC's post a couple of weeks ago when he decided to R. He just decided it. He was going to make it happen. It takes two. ToddAC couldn't do it alone and neither can I.

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