THIS IS IT!!! This is what I have been trying to tell you!!!

NO IT DOESN'T DEPEND ON WW!

If it depends on her, then it is not forgiveness. WW has zero influence on your forgiveness of her actions.

What you are describing is vindication - not forgiveness. You are saying that if she pays enough to your satisfaction, you will let it go.

If you truly forgive WW, it will even be if she is still with OM and blaming you for everything.

You simply don't understand what forgiveness really is. I'm sorry but it's true.

I know this exactly. I have been in this position for approximately what? 8 or 9 months?

Different couple have different timelines. You will learn to be more patient with time. Other than that, Plan A is tough duty. I won't kid you about that. It is why we want to give you so much encouragement. We know how hard it is. But you CAN do it.

I just made a stupid move and called him back.

I needed to know why he called me and wanted to know about my meeting today. He just said he wanted to know what I found out. He didn't call for any other reason, ie. to work things out.

I asked if anything I said last night got through and he said no.

I asked if he wanted this so badly why he's not making any moves and he said because he can't afford it. He said he would file tomorrow if he could, but he can't so he's going to wait his 6 months and file then. He doesn't have a problem with that.

I asked him again why he wanted this so badly and he said that he thinks he can be happier somewhere else. I pointed out that he said "he thinks". I said, "if you only think, shouldn't you be sure before making such a big move?" Then he got mad because now I'm listening to every word he's saying and using it to my benefit all of a sudden. I told him that that has been my point all along.

Tonight was not the night to do this...he had a bad day at work and was already in a bad mood. I didn't help the situation.

I hate this and am ready to give up.

I don't think I can. Not after tonight.

That's because you are forgetting who is on the phone. I know he SOUNDS a lot like your husband but he is NOT your husband. Your husband may still be in there trapped inside the body but he is not the one talking to you.

NOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[head banging on desk]

{thud}

[blissfully unconscious]

Well, they just looked so lonely, there all by themselves! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/teary.gif" alt="" />

t&l

I was on your ignore list?! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/eek.gif" alt="" /><img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/shocked.gif" alt="" /><img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/shocked.gif" alt="" /><img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/shocked.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/shocked.gif" alt="" /><img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/eek.gif" alt="" />

Let me join you in the small world of your coma............. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/crazy.gif" alt="" />

t&l

Give me a minute. I am just trying to remember how many times I said this same thing. Ok, this is going to take a while...



Use it to your benefit and then forget about it.

Stop listening to the words. Only look at his actions. Words to a lying conniving WS are useless drool from their mouths.

You, like me, keep picking at the scab. You keep getting into these little conversations hoping against hope that a light will go on, the clouds will part and the sun will shine again.

While I always wanted that, it never happened. I was the one who was always hurt by those conversations. I learned to stop having them.

You must have missed the part where there was a mechanical breakdown and we were stuck inside that ride for 45 minutes at Disneyworld.

I think I was traumatized by the incident. I'm still in therapy over it. Currently up to 400 volts - a new personal best.

Oops! I never heard that part. In that case, you can blame Neak for bring back those bad mammaries. She's my daughter, but only by marriage! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/blush.gif" alt="" />

t&l

As in, I married her father and we had a daughter...although I think I did all the really tough stuff! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/rolleyes.gif" alt="" />

t&l

Stef - Pio made some good points there.

I don't know how to stop having conversations yet. I do have hope that something will penetrate his brain and make him see what he's doing. I have 6 months of limited time spent with him to get him to change his mind. He knows I don't want a divorce, he told me that tonight. And he knows that I think I'm going to change his mind in these 6 months. "Not going to happen" (his words to me). He's going to have a barrier block in his head against me until he gets this divorce. So why bother trying anymore?

How in the he!! have you done this for [b]9 months!!

Now it's official Jen is snubbing up. She's online but hasn't posted to TKO yet.

I'm so confused. Is it that muscle relaxant injection talking or is this really a confusing post?

Officially I am over a year now. I only count time from "official" NC. I don't count from Dday.

It is difficult to answer that question. The first thing that occurred to me was like trying to cross a stream without getting wet. Just when you think you have gone as far as you can and can't get to the other side, you spot another stone just barely within your reach and you jump on it and get just a little bit further. That's the best I can explain it.

edited to add:

but you never lose sight of the other side. That's your motivation - always keeping your goal in sight.

Cinders - I could really have some fun with you, but I'll be nice.

It's us that's nuts, not you.

So, what keeps you hanging on and not divorcing, or her from divorcing for that matter?

what's Dday mean? Is it the day the A is revealed?