That's what I thought, too.

t&l

P.S. I'm getting one of the Spanish speakers here tonight to translate for me. I hope it's not too graphic. At 58, I'm starting to get delicate.

In fact Stef - I want you to promise me you will avoid ANY relationship talk with your Alien WH for the next week.

What are his EN's again? Start meeting them as much as you can. EXCEPT for SF - Panties ON. Gotit?

Great - now Pio is type casting me as a bully.

Ouch. Now that hurts. Like I would do that.

not a bully - good cop - bad cop.

Besides, if you really want to get whacked with a 2x4, there is no meaner stick than Bigger's. Man that guy hits hard!

And I'll probably have to be told another bazillion times, each time he talks to me with his attitude. Sooner or later, I'm going to get pi$$ed off enough about the attitude, I'm going to tell him to shove it and give him what he wants.

And I would love to look at what he's doing,if he were doing anything!! If he had $$, he would be doing something; divorcing me!

I do trust you, because it makes me feel a little better knowing that he can't file yet and won't be able to for a while.

When can I start Plan B?

And how else can I break the A up?

I promise...no relationship talk for a week. He is supposed to come over Sunday to go through our stuff to agree on in the divorce...does that count, or should I cancel? I only ask, because if he does this, I want my a$$ covered first, so I would like the paperwork submitted to my lawyer before he can do anything, or doesn't agree to things later.

Homework to myself: do his EN's questionnaire for him and start meeting them when I can. I'll report it to you tomorrow.

And no SF...man, you play hardball!! It's as much for me as it is for him...I don't deserve to be punished because he's stupid!

Well I now have to get the DDs going. Breakfast, get dressed, go to the store, etc. And don't forget, I got roped inot a marathon Uno game later today.

How is it kids can forget to do their homework, forget where they left their teddy bear (EVERY SINGLE FREAKIN DAY!), forget to brush their teeth, etc. but they can never forget an off-handed comment about Uno? <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/confused.gif" alt="" />

Stef - Plan B should be a ways off. You are ready for Plan B when you have almost lost all your love for him. Are you perchance able to get telephone counselling with the Harleys?

Don't talk about Divorce with him. Gee you are right. A bazillion times doesn't do it. Talk marriage and reconcilliation not divorce - just not for the next week OK?

Do the EN thing. YES. Then you can do a proper Plan A.

NO SF. Damn right I play hardball. I understand from what you have written you love SF. Get a vibrator Stef. I hear the Rabbit one is particularly good.

Y'll write too fast, I'll have to give up my job to keep up with this thread !

T&L and Neak, surely Todd will apreciate your literary colaboration, he's in charge of cultivate us about the scary world of poetry and lyrics. Now, be aware there's an English teacher around, disguised as muddy fighter, she takes ofense to some language crimes. She ignores my crimes because I usually don't know better. Ty, Kiwi.

Pio your Spanish is pretty good actually, with apostrophs and all. It was just naturally that G used an Aztec way to rip your hearth out, more than 500 years of experience.

I made oat meal tonight and tried to be creative, wrong move. Almond oil escent, vainilla, cianamon and powder ginger. Yuck.

Hi Stph, you are doing fine, you just don't know it yet.

I wish I could get counseling with the Harley's, I just can't afford it, even though I know it's worth it, the cash flow is just not here right now. I'm going to call my pastor next week and set up an appointment for WH to talk to her, since he said he would last night.

It's not that I LOVE SF, I just enjoy it with him and he enjoys it with me...a vibrator is just not the same, but I'll refrain from it.

I need to avoid reconciliation too; he doesn't want to hear it and it makes him mad and frustrated with me. I am that smart now!

I promise to do what you say for the next week. But he always makes little comments about us getting divorced. I try to ignore him and them, but it's frustrating to hear it ALL THE FREAKIN TIME!! I know he wants a divorce, but good grief, get over it already!

I'm going to bed, it's way past my bedtime.

Thanks for the faith. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smirk.gif" alt="" />

Stef - Make sure you see I edited that post you quoted - I meant to say Plan A not Plan B


Has WH been in the habit of attending church with you? I didn't know you were a church goer. Will he listen to Pastor (he asks hopefully). My wife did.

He knows how to press your hot buttons Stef. You seem like you are developing some self control. This is good. Act. Don't react to him. Identify his EN's and meet them to the extent he will let you. This is good because it will make you attractive to him.

Consistency and Patience Stef.

That's been one problem: he is definitely NOT a church goer. Wants pretty much nothing to do with it. Until this all started, I haven't been in church since our wedding day, although I pray a lot and I do have a deep belief in God. I go off and on now, but I've been doing counseling sessions with the pastor about once a week, or when I think I need it. I haven't been in 2 weeks. So, he's been extremely resistant to talking to her, even though I've asked many times (but not pushed). He doesn't want any "religous talk" from her.

It all depends on his mood that day if he'll listen to her or not. He may have his guard up and then nothing will get through. But, if he's the one that said he would go, even though he doesn't want to, he might just listen. I don't know how it'll go. That's why I didn't call and set up the appointment first thing this morning and am waiting until sometime next week. And it depends on what the Pastor will tell him too. She's been preparing me for divorce, since he moved out. She may just listen to him and decide there's no changing his mind and not even try to. It all makes me a little nervous.

OK Stef - valuable information.

I honestly suggest at the very least your pastor is pro-marriage. Maybe you should find a church where there are counselors who are trained psychs as well as pro marriage. At the very least your pastor must understand your goals and be working with you not against you.

I was very disappointed with the counselling expertise of our Pastor who meant well and was pro-marriage (very much so) but didn't have the slightest idea how to help us. MB saved my marriage pure and simple. I found the tools here on this site much more helpful than my pastor. But having said that he was helpful when I was trying to ruin my wife's affair. Unfortunately for you, your Husband is unlikely to care about what your pastor thinks.

I presume you have exposed your husbands affair to anyone who can have an influence on his behaviour?

I have a problem and I can't figure out what I'm doing wrong.

I got some Slinfast and was reading the directions and it says that with sensible diet and exercise and one nutritious Slimfast shake a day, I can lose 1 pound a week.

That sounds easy enough.

So I decided to try to lose more. I figure if one shake a day equals one pound a week, ten shakes a day should make me lose ten pounds a week. So I have been drinking 10 shakes a day but I'm not losing any weight. I think this Slimfast thing is a load of tripe. It doesn't work.

Hi nams,

Whew! I am relieved. I was afraid you were being sarcastic. Just to update, I heard back from a few of the artists I contacted. Rembrandt called. He is one weird dude. I don't think I will represent him. Probably not that good an artist anyway. Then Monet called. Or was it Manet? Anyone, he couldn't speak English so I have ruled him out. And then Michelangelo's agent called and said that his client had his head in the ceiling. I will not represent drug addicts so I am down to that Picasso fellow unless he turns out to be a disappointment.

BTW, my son thinks it is a great idea. He will talk to his artist friends and get their input. My thought is to actually list their work on an internet site. What do you think about that? Basically could be a site to sell art for artist clients and collect a commission; percentage of the sales price.

Good thing you didn't know abot the Cambridge Diet (no, no the affair diet) until now.

Could someone tell me how we, women, are supouse to have fully operative brains? After half an hour of curling my hair with heated curler I don't feel the arms or the hands for that matter. My lef and right lobules must look like Todd microweaved potato.

Very impressive nams!

I especially love the texture you achieve in the finish.

Will you cut me some slack? You have been on me like stink on a june bug. Besides the mariachi knew exactly what I meant.

BTW, DS2 joined me for dinner and ended up spending the night with me. He was going in the field today and where I live is closer to the field location so it worked out great. He got the band to play some Bosa Nova number. He loves Bosa Nova and plays it on guitar almost excusively. Coincidentally, he is trying to put a band together as well. Completely different music from my band so no match. Anyway fun time.