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larousse #1691058 09/28/06 08:03 AM
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Todd,

thanks for your replay to my question.
I have two more:
What attracted your wife to you?

I'll tell you what she has told me many times. In no particular order.

1. Sense of humor
2. Sweet
3. Intelligent
4. Ambitious - she knew I would be a good provider.
5. Looks
6. Affectionate


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What things in your marriage your wife found, finds, positive about you?

1. Good provider
2. She says I am the best Father she knows
3. SF
4. Affectionate
5. Sense of humor
6. Sweet
7. Supportive - I have gone to great lengths to help her grown and gain self-confidence and acheivements.

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Well one more:
How's your son, is he surviving without XGF?

It's a funny break up. When I was young and you broke up with a girl, you would hardly talk to her for a long while and she the same. Son and GF had dinner the other night; lunch the other day, etc. I don't know how to read modern relationship tealeaves apparently.

stph20 #1691059 09/28/06 08:23 AM
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L & L, ready to confess?


Alright, Todd...you win....not ready to confess...but you got me to post....

Just started my 'catching up' on the thread...and this caught my eye....


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I pride myself on being scientific

Sorry, buddy....back to the drawing board on that point!

Don't worry....I am 'lurking' and am keeping up to date.... you're all doing a great job with stph20 (she chose her name...and I will respect it....unlike our Australian camarade...LOL...because I think stph is in enough trouble.....although a vowel somewhere in there would have helped!)

I just 'feel' I little out of it...that's all...I'll be OK.

I still have 10 pages to go....hoping no major 'CRISIS' has happened overnight..but with this gang....who knows!

Geesh....Todd...you could have read the manual for the microwave before getting yourself into all that trouble!


XBW
DS16 & DS22
PLAN D: finalized!
lunamare #1691060 09/28/06 08:42 AM
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you're all doing a great job with stph20 (she chose her name...and I will respect it....unlike our Australian camarade...LOL...because I think stph is in enough trouble.....although a vowel somewhere in there would have helped!)

I'm glad some people are using my "correct" name! But, I've got to ask...what's up with the vowel thing??? <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/confused.gif" alt="" />


BS (me)-26
WH-27
Dday-August 2006
0 kids
Married 4 years
NC established 1-26-07
status-working on it

"Sometimes, I'm afraid and I don't feel that tough...but I'll stand back up."
stph20 #1691061 09/28/06 08:48 AM
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Vowels are friendly <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

Todd, I'll comment about your post in a while, ty.

Payday here for me. Like a solidarity gesture and to avoid further reprimands to you from the English teacher and the soccer coach, I won't buy a tequila bottle so you don't feel tempted to drink anymore Coronas.

See y'all.

Last edited by larousse; 09/28/06 08:49 AM.
lunamare #1691062 09/28/06 08:53 AM
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Geesh....Todd...you could have read the manual for the microwave before getting yourself into all that trouble!


Yeah I know. So much for being scientific, eh? Not to worry. They removed my microwave after the second fire alarm went off. BTW, does anyone know how can I get out of these handcuffs?

stph20 #1691063 09/28/06 08:56 AM
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Pio doesn't permit members in his thread if they have no vowels in their user name. I think that is why the BigK renamed you stef - to give you a vowel.

bigkahuna #1691064 09/28/06 08:59 AM
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OK Stef - valuable information.

I honestly suggest at the very least your pastor is pro-marriage. Maybe you should find a church where there are counselors who are trained psychs as well as pro marriage. At the very least your pastor must understand your goals and be working with you not against you.

I was very disappointed with the counselling expertise of our Pastor who meant well and was pro-marriage (very much so) but didn't have the slightest idea how to help us. MB saved my marriage pure and simple. I found the tools here on this site much more helpful than my pastor. But having said that he was helpful when I was trying to ruin my wife's affair. Unfortunately for you, your Husband is unlikely to care about what your pastor thinks.

I presume you have exposed your husbands affair to anyone who can have an influence on his behaviour?

My pastor is absolutely pro-marriage, don't get me wrong, but given the things that I've told her, she doesn't see him wanting to work it out. She wouldn't push him for divorce, but she hasn't given me any advice on how to stop the divorce either, so I'm assuming she'll be that way with him. But I don't know that for a fact. She's mainly there to listen and give advice, but not really counsel, in a sense. She knows that I want to save the marriage, her thinking (which is correct) is not to push him into coming back. But I don't think she really knows of any way to make him want to come back, so she's preparing me. I would hope that if he talks to her, she would urge him to see all the benefits of our marriage, but I don't know. She's told me that if he went and talked to her, she would see what he has to say and go from there.

I need to see her before he does so she will work with me.

And yes, I have exposed to EVERYONE we know and to OW's mother and boyfriend. WH doesn't understand why I felt the need (and I didn't know how to explain it, so I did look kind of dumb when he asked me why I did it).

I don't think the A has stopped and he's not going to stop it. I would like to talk him into stopping it for at least a little while, in order for him to figure out what he wants, but he thinks he wants her, so he's not going to do that. Don't know what else to do.

OK, going to go work on his EN list.

Last edited by stph20; 09/28/06 09:03 AM.

BS (me)-26
WH-27
Dday-August 2006
0 kids
Married 4 years
NC established 1-26-07
status-working on it

"Sometimes, I'm afraid and I don't feel that tough...but I'll stand back up."
ToddAC #1691065 09/28/06 09:36 AM
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Pio doesn't permit members in his thread if they have no vowels in their user name.


Absolutely not true. No rules against posting. I just ignore posts made by people with no vowels - but others read them so there's no problem.

I don't have any particular reasons for slighting people with no vowels. But we all have to live by rules. I have a vowel thing. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/confused.gif" alt="" />

piojitos #1691066 09/28/06 10:19 AM
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I don't have a vowel and you don't ignore me... <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/tongue.gif" alt="" />


BS (me)-26
WH-27
Dday-August 2006
0 kids
Married 4 years
NC established 1-26-07
status-working on it

"Sometimes, I'm afraid and I don't feel that tough...but I'll stand back up."
stph20 #1691067 09/28/06 10:38 AM
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Busted! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/blush.gif" alt="" />

piojitos #1691068 09/28/06 10:46 AM
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I knew I was loved... <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />

Told ya you were sweet...come on, admit it!

Last edited by stph20; 09/28/06 11:33 AM.

BS (me)-26
WH-27
Dday-August 2006
0 kids
Married 4 years
NC established 1-26-07
status-working on it

"Sometimes, I'm afraid and I don't feel that tough...but I'll stand back up."
stph20 #1691069 09/28/06 10:46 AM
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How was marathon UNO?


BS (me)-26
WH-27
Dday-August 2006
0 kids
Married 4 years
NC established 1-26-07
status-working on it

"Sometimes, I'm afraid and I don't feel that tough...but I'll stand back up."
stph20 #1691070 09/28/06 01:25 PM
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To pay homage to Superman and to attempt to be ignored by Pio, I am going to change my screen name to Mr Mxyzptlk. Now there is a name.

stph20 #1691071 09/28/06 01:42 PM
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How was marathon UNO?


Odd that you mention it. To be honest I had been dreading the Marathon Uno idea. Uno is not a problem but Marathon Uno is a minimum of 20 games by definition. My main problem with this (I am not joking) is that DDs have "Barbie" Uno. I have purchased 5 other diffrenet Uno decks in various languages and themes. The latest is, of course, Mickey Uno. But the DDs insist on playing Barbie Uno. Now the number 5 and number 0 cards in Barbie Uno feature Ken the Lifeguard. I hate those cards. They remind me of OM. I have often thought of removing them from the deck. Maybe I will.

Anyway, we went to the store in Khobar this AM. I admit I had not been excited about that because the traffic in Khobar is very bad and very dangerous. It never occurred to me that this is Ramadan. The streets were deserted. The Muslims, of course, are all sleeping all day long. So the trip was quite pleasant. Then we went to Ace Hardware to get a new sprinkler. I also bought me some new extension cords - 12 AWG! - and I am stoked. I also really treated myself and got me a Conair personal grooming kit I have been eyeing for months.

Since the hamster store didn't open till 10:30 AM (being Ramadan and all we were lucky it opened before 8:00PM - providence was smiling on me) we had 15 minutes to kill so we went into Toys R Us (right in front of the hamster store) and I got a Full Speed Mini Cooper Electric Power Road Racing Set. I thought this would occupy the girls all day and save me from Uno. I thought it was cool too. We got back home and, of course, they wanted to play slot cars immediately. I spent the next 2 hours putting the thing together. We almost don't have anough room upstairs to put it but I found a place it just fit. Well after 2 hours of this, a beer really would have hit the spot. Too bad. Then I realized that, of course, it was 220V so then I had to make another transformer to go from 120 to 220 (another disadvantage to living here). I finally got it running and showed the DDs how it worked and I told them that they needed to practice and learn to control the speed of the cars on the curves and the loops and that I was not going to spend the entire afternoon helping them. It was strictly going to be trial-and-error. Right. All afternoon - DADDY! DADDY! My car doesn't work. DADDY! DADDY! My car keeps flying off the track. DADDY! DADDY!...At one point I thought of keeping a spreadsheet of how many times they yelled "DADDY!".

So I went outside and put out the new sprinkler and then went into the garage to work out (the next best thing to beer on a hard day). DDs decided they wanted to play in the sprinkler. So I'm trying to work out. DADDY! DADDY! Valeria is spraying me! Well, you get the idea. Even after all that I could not escape Marathon Uno. And somehow I happened to get every 0 and 5 in the deck every single time!!!

Finally about 6:30PM DD1 got mad because DD2 kept giving her +2 and +4 cards and DD1 was not winning many games (she hates to lose at Uno - anything for that matter) so she quit. No complaints from me. I made them dinner and I was beat so I told them they could stay up and play but I was going to lie down. I fell instantly asleep. I slept great for an hour and then felt a tug and I heard "Daddy, are you asleep?". So much for that. So I installed them to watch Stuart Little. They asked if they could stay up all night. I said sure of course they could. Why not? They can't last past 8:30 PM anyway. And that's what happened.

Now that they are asleep, I am going to hunt down the Uno deck and remove the 0's and 5's right this second.

ToddAC #1691072 09/28/06 01:43 PM
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I am going to change my screen name to Mr Mxyzptlk


Why "Mr."? Seems a bit snobbish to me.

lunamare #1691073 09/28/06 02:00 PM
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she chose her name...and I will respect it....unlike our Australian camarade...LOL...because I think stph is in enough trouble.....although a vowel somewhere in there would have helped


Let's try and remember that the poor guy spends his entire life upside down. Must be tough with the blood always rushing to your head.

And to add insult to injury, those Australians created a hole in the ozone layer over themselves.

piojitos #1691074 09/28/06 02:17 PM
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Stph20,

* u can't talk WS into anything...best advice given to me by Pio...be consistent in what you do and say and ignore anything he says cuz it's babble...there is NO rational or explainations that will clear the fog...time and consistent application of MB principles are the key

*u said you don't need him but u want him...act accordingly, let him see ur independence and confidence in urself...no begging, questioning, interrogating, nagging, relationship talk etc. (I too struggle here as I am a supreme stormtrooper interrogater with no patience who wants to cut straight to the problems...the WS never respond well to this approach...go figure)

*it isn't just reading...it is applying the principles of what you read...much harder

*when you want to resort to questioning or relationship talk think of Pio and sing Small World to urself or think of Todd with the rabbit...anything to divert your urge

*in all business, finance aspects prepare for D...don't advertise this to WS, keep it to urself but get ready so he can't pull rug out from under you...no matter what the outcome you will thrive...you are way far ahead of most in a short period

*u say u have forgiven H but I believe it maybe too soon to make this claim...u r just on the surface of the moat, once you start plunging under you see alot more garbage to address...it is a choice we all make and maybe I am wrong to doubt you but...

*bitterness and resentment accumulate over time

OK, now I have not reached any successes in my M over the past months on this site, however has I not utilized the expertise of these folks I would have already been divorced, damaged my children beyond current damage, hated myself and felt like a failure

I now know I don't need WS to be happy or feel secure; look better than ever and am starting to rediscover who I really am...spent so many years afraid to upset WS and keep the peace that I stuffed all the good and fun stuff down inside and really had no idea who I was, what I liked or wanted besides my kids of course; if nothing else, this trip has brought me a new identity, greater appreciation
of life, closer relationship to God, my children and my mother...even if D happens, the journey has already been worth it

* Hang in there and keep posting

bigkahuna #1691075 09/28/06 02:20 PM
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NO SF. Damn right I play hardball. I understand from what you have written you love SF. Get a vibrator Stef. I hear the Rabbit one is particularly good.


Any other hot tips for the ladies BK??? Have you been conducting research on this topic???

piojitos #1691076 09/28/06 02:29 PM
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I empathize with all the kid drama...lots of the same here but as annoying as it can be at times it is equally fun...I try to remember that each opportunity is one to create wonderful childhood memories...

OK, so 50% of the time I am shouting out orders to kids who no matter what time you start getting them ready (school, soccer, church, anything on a schedule) can always end up waiting to the last second for something or forget something

I have the morning routine down to a science with the rise and shine routine, packing lunches, getting backpacks all fixed, making sure everything is signed and all the extra projects, fundraisers etc are all in place and YET...there is always a glitch...1 of the 3 will "lose shoes" or misplace assignment notebook or disappear at the exacat moment the bus pulls up:) This morning they were amazed that I hadn't started barking orders...I had explained that this is only necessary during the last 5-10 minutes if they aren't on task...do they have the faintest idea????

Did I mention the pet trauma we had this week? Short story...dog looses part of ear 30 min before I must leave...house looks like crime scene from dog with 1/2 ear shaking hemorrhaging head all over the house...managed to stop bleeding, treat topically and crate dog so that my high school aged baby sitter could keep it all together for the next 5 hours...it was a success...never dull moment in my abode...top that one!

2muchhrtbrk #1691077 09/28/06 02:38 PM
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Hey 2Much......
I was a little confused by this......
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my high school aged baby sitter looses part of ear 30 min before I must leave...house looks like crime scene from baby sitter with 1/2 ear shaking hemorrhaging head all over the house...managed to stop bleeding, treat topically and crate baby sitter so that my dog could keep it all together for the next 5 hours...it was a success...never dull moment in my abode...top that one!

I think you should go back and edit your last post.
Maybe I'm wrong.

LOL

Jeff


Me 44
WW 32
S 12 D 8 S 5
M 12yrs
W Moved out 07/22/06
ww served me divorce papers 10/04/06

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