Mr Mxyzptlk,

You mentioned a few posts back that you harbored zero bitterness/resentment re: some past childhood issues that were major...it is none of my business and I don't know you personally but I would appreciate if you could tell me how you have managed this.

Y I ask is that my H has had major past issues that he has compartmentalized and repressed and swears that he just put it away and moved on...these are HUGE issues that I feel have shaped everything about how he deals with life, relationships, trust etc and he insists not dealing with it is in effect dealing with it

I realize I can't force him to confront his demons but I feel that my M can never fully recover (if it is even an option) without him dealing with these fundamental issues that have shaped his entire life

Sooooooooooo, from your personal experience do you not see a connection from what you endured and how it has shaped you today? If it was negative and abusive how can you not be bitter or resentful...have you forgiven? If so, what is the difference btwn forgiving that and WW?

If I am probing to deep just send me some lyrics to shut me up!

LOL...good one, I actually believed I wrote it in that sequence for a sec!

Made ja look........ <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />

lol

Don't blame me. Take it up with DC Comics.

Hi 2much, stph, Todd, Pio, Larousse, luna, believer, bigk, sorry to those I missed.

I finally got called for substituting. My guess is the shine has worn off the newness of this year & the kids & it's time for mental health days.

Todd, the central web site idea is a good one & exists for two dimensional artists. It's a place where artist pay a yearly fee & can post a certain number of pictures. It's frequented by people looking for images; advertisers, illustrators, people wanting a particular image to represent something. I don't know the specifics of payment but I think it depends on the use.

For me, as a three demensional artist, I don't sell an image but a product. Much of my work is inexpensive compared to painters or photographers & expensive to ship. I have a website but I stopped selling from it & use it now as a place to send people to see my work. Well, in theory that is, I don't maintain it so it's looking very stale. Even the pictures I posted aren't on it & there old. Of course my newer work is more fantabulous.

What appeals to me about working with a representative is my focus gets to stay on the work not on finding places to sell or what sells best where. A dream unlikely to come true.

Forget about those other artists Todd, they all talk funny. Some are French. Thank you for complimenting my work.

Todd, I think it's perfectly reasonable to D your wife right this very minute because she prewashes dishes going into the dishwaher. I have gone around on this issue with my family & it's a no win just like which way the toilet paper comes off the role. Dolts prewash BTW.

Thank you larousse for your nice comments on my work. I know what you mean about having to quit your job to stay current with this thread. The problems is it's an addiction. You know, like tequila. You want to find out what's happened to whom & it takes forever to wade through it all. I go to bed hoping people will have had the good grace to do the same or go outside & play so there's not so much catching up to do.

LOL on your thread philosophy...I completely agree! So, are you onto your next tequila pursuit??? It helps wading thru the thread to sip a nice cocktail...it least that's what I've heard <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/eek.gif" alt="" />

Oh my, 2much, my ex has some huge issues from his past that he has said exactly the same thing about. He swears these things are not factors, that he's dealt with them & they have no influence, now or in the past in shaping him.

Your 100% right you can't force him to deal with these issue, I know, I tried.

2much, I'd be happy to arm chair psychologist my ex's issue & how they screwed him up if that would hep you. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/eek.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/wink.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/laugh.gif" alt="" />

Hi 2much, I grew up in a tough neighborhood. Things happen in such neighborhoods. One such incident was that a friend and I were grabbed by an older group of guys who basically staked us to the ground and began beating us with anything they could get their hands on. They finally let us go. I did not tell my Dad because he would have literally killed them. I did tell my brother who was similar age to the guys who did this. He took care of things. And no, he didn't kill them. Some things are worse than death. This incident affected me for many years. And more incidents as well.

If I can make an analogy here, when you grow up poor, you don't know you are poor because everyone else is also. At some point, and for me it was junior high, you get exposed to others who are not poor and it hits home. Similarly, the same goes for living in a rough and troubled neighborhood. I didn't know any different. It takes a while to process certain things and in my mid to late twenties, my background began haunting me. I was bitter as could be. I felt sorry for myself. I dwelled on "why me?". I began my own form of therapy. When I had a negative thought about my background, I wrote it down. I would also jot down my "justification" for feeling that way. Then, in the next column, I listed sensible, common-sense alternatives to my faulty thinking. Bottom line is that I gradually pulled myself out of an attitude nosedive. I have to credit WW for help in this area as well. She helped me focus on some things to which I was blind.

Most people with whom I grew up are either dead, in prison or are bums. What made me different? Two things: intelligence and drive. Intelligence courtesy of my Mom and I, for some crazy reason, was born with drive. Once I got over the emotional hump, my life was great. Getting over the hump takes awareness and realization. Life is not fair. It never was and never will be. Things just are. The incident I related happened to me, but it wasn’t about me. My friend and I were convenient that’s all. Nothing personal. It felt personal at the time, but it wasn’t. And my brother’s revenge against those guys was not personal. And least not to them. Nothing ever bothered my Brother until Vietnam. He won the Bronze Star and the Purple Heart and threw both in the trash can. To this day, he cannot and will not talk about it. As far as I know, the neighborhood stuff never bothered him. And as for the guys who did this to me and my friend, I have and never will forgive them. What they did was unforgivable. But I have put it behind me and moved on.

Rob prewashes all the dishes before they go in the dishwasher. I bought a garlic press that was specially dishwasher proof and he won't allow it in the dishwasher. Also, DS and I apparently don't know how to load a dishwasher and he reloads it after we've put dishes in it.

DS and I also don't how to use toothpaste tubes - apparently.

Hi tams,

I am reasonably sure that I read this in SAA. What is so crazy is that we put the top of the line Bosch DW in our home. It heats the water to 161 degrees and had a food disposer built in.



This is an excellent point. But isn't pottery sold on the internet every day? I see your point but if someone likes your work, I think most would go ahead and buy. No?

And oh, I finally heard back from that Picasso guy. He is not interested but is referring me to his daughter. I think her name is pigeon or something like that.

Gawd Kiwi, a husband who puts dishes in the dishwasher! Next time around I want one of them. He can rearrange my undie drawer too if he feels like I don't organize it properly. At least I'd know how he felt about it.

Lol. You know, you can tell a lot about a person's mind by how they load the dishwasher. I am quite serious. Take my aforementioned SIL, please! She loaded our DW one day and I opened it to add another glass and almost fainted. It looked like it was loaded by a three year old. No rhyme and no reason. I emptied the dishwasher and redid it. Is that an OCD? Probably. When I load the DW, which I love to do (it is like putting a puzzle together. conversely, I hate unloading because it is so mechanical). My approach to loading the DW is very methodical and logical. Guess that is not surprising, huh?

Oh, you squeeze the middle? Do you roll the tube up as you go?

Nams, we share most household duties, except carwashing and lawn mowing (he does those but he won't touch ironing). We both leave for work at 7.30am in the morning, I get home at 5.30pm, he gets home at 6.30pm. It only seems fair.

I am responsible for most of the cooking because I'm a good cook. He cleans up afterwards. But he cooks as well (sometimes), as does DS (but his meals are all vegan so there's only so many of those we can eat).

Squeeze the middle and don't roll up the tube.

A crime against nature apparently.

Todd, Rob loads the dishwasher just the way you do. LOL

LMAO @ crime against nature.

You will be surprised to learn that I squeeze the tube wherever I please. And I do not roll it up. It is an amorphus shape to begin with so why add structure when there is none?

Really???? That does surprise me. I thought your toothpaste tube would be neatly rolled after each squeeze from the bottom.

We do buy those stand up pump tubes. A good POJA result.