Hi larousse,

WW did cancel dinner plans but called late last night. See previous post.

Now keep the promise!

Oh Todd, I am so sorry you had to sit through this discussion with your WW...again, aside from a few variations.

She does have some things in common with my ex. He, like your WW, needs to feel blameless. He has rewritten things in such a way that he really had no other choice than to do what he did. He believes it. His mother did the very same thing. makes me wonder about mental stability.

Not to presume anything about your WW, but she may also be like my ex in that he had no indivudual problems that need addressing. This is something I could not work against. It was all in his hands to see his problems & find the desire to fix them. I don't know that he ever will. Sad, & my hope is these personal things don't screw with the boys.

What are your plans now Todd?

Yeah, I know. I will. In fact, she already called this morning but I didn't answer the phone. She left a rambling voice mail which I coudn't even listen to.

You must feel sick Todd.

Absolute NC is the only way you could ever hope to see positive change in your PRWW. Do NOT speak to her. No matter what.

Hi nams,

When I saw my Primary care physician after DD to get tested for STD's, he told me that his Mom had cheated on his Dad. His Dad didn't even discuss the issue. He had a moving truck back up the driveway and removed all his stuff. Two months later, he died of a heart attack. Still, it took his Mom over five years to admit what she had done. She is still with OM BTW.

My guess is that it will take WW at least five years to "get it". There is no way I am waiting her out. When she talks, I can hear her best friend talking so much it is almost laughable. She thinks her best friend is so precious. This is the same woman who, a few days after DD, showed up at my front door dressed to the nines, and offered to "help" me through my distress. I refused which I will admit was very difficult. She is a beautiful woman and very smart. But I couldn't do it. Anyway, if WW only knew.

But WW's philosophy is that her affair is my fault. That is her BF talking and perhaps OM as well. I cannot and will not deal with that. I told her that I am done.

Todd,

Sorry about the way the phone conversation went. It's such a pity. I really can't understand her frame of mind.

I wanted so much to share with you what Harley had say last Thursday to a man whose wife had had a change of behavior and lifestyle when she went back to work. The man that called to the program mentioned how her girlfriends had a strong influence in her ideas and behavior.
The BS is christian and didn't enjoyed or shared her WW's entreteinment options like partiying and drinking.

Harley recomended him to separate from her and then explain to her the conditions under which he could consider going back to her. Harley pointed out to him not to talk about values but more about creating a renewed wonderful marriage.

She seems so far away in her understanding of the situation, so in the fog but maybe, just may be, she could fantom, visualize that there is something for her to gain in changing her lifestyle.

I see that you try to apply healthy ways or protocols of discussions and that she ignores them every time. She needs consecuences now, I'm afraid.

I agree that you should not contact her and maybe write her a Plan B letter.

Sorry Todd.

About tequila,

They got, the people that make tequila in Jalisco, a world valide certification, as valide as champagne, meaning only them produce tequila and tequila can only be gotten from agave.

Now, I think you know and most people know but you don't drink a shot of tequila, called caballito in one gulp. It must be sipped.

I don't think you should drink tequila right now and not in a while but if it's real tequila it underwent a good destilation process and aging process in big wood conteiners as brandy or whisky.

You know nams, it is weird. I am not sick at all. I am sure that some of it is that I have the defensive shields up to protect myself from further hurt but my overwhelming reaction is that I feel sorry for her. She is lost in lala land and her "logic" is so distorted it otherwise would be laughable.

Hi larousse,

I offended you with my tequila comment. It was a joke. The way it goes with my sons is that I will tell them not to drink tequila, that it will kill them and it is the only liquor that will kill them. Then, one will ask, what about rum? I say, okay rum can kill you also. So there are two and only two liquors that can kill you. Then another son will say, yeah, what about vodka? Then I say, okay, yes, vodka can kill you as well. So that makes three liquors that can kill you and only three. Then one will ask, but what about gin? And so on and so forth. It started innocently and is now a standing joke we go through whenever the four of us are together. Kinda of a sentimental thing I suppose. And yes, I do drink tequila. Mostly in Margaritas, but I have been known to "sip" a shot. Like the time in California, we were in a restaurant/club and I ended up on stage playing a Jimmy Buffet song or two. At least that is what they tell me. Have I mentioned that tequila makes me crazy?

That's sad state to see someone you were once so tied to in.

Maybe I was weak but when I finally understood the depth of ex's stuff & his unwillingness/inability to deal with it that's when I was able to truly move on to heal myself.

I say weak because doing this moved me away from any love I felt for him & any desire to see us as a couple. Understand I didn't have a choice, but it was clear to me this was someone I couldn't be happy with. From that point I was able to move on in a more peaceful way.

I see that I'm a person who has not been positive or optimistic on your behalf Todd. I'm sure that's due to the outcome of my situation. So, I'm sorry if what you really want & need is support here & I keep tossing that wet blanket because I see some similarities between your WW & ex.

If you'd rather me not keep up with my wet blanket just say so.

Todd,

you didn't offended me, in fact I'm glad you can joke at this moment considering your WW's phone calls.

Please take care of yourself, of your health, this kind of tensions have a way to affect body wellness as you must know.

Nam, thanks for your answer about mold. I had a rather traumatic experience with a restorator in the past. Lol.

I'm off to take the car to pass it's twice a year health exam. Wish me luck.

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Ah, Nam, watch out, I'm sure Pio is thinking a way to left us again without a star, his creativity is scary.

A tramatic experience with an art restorer? Sounds interesting. I have emailed my painter friend about mold removal, I'll let you know what she says.

nams,

By all means, please keep posting.

larousse,

As for the mold, get a large bucket and fill it with a solution of 75% water and 25% chlorine bleach. Soak the painting for 24 hours. That should remove any trace of the mold.

No ToddAC. Muriatic acid - takes it right out.Fill the bathtub. Submerse painting for 24 hours.

I think the mixture is 75% bleach 23% water. Plus, you must scrub the painting back before the 24 hours of soaking.

All the boys are up so time to start the day. It's been lovely. See y'all later.