I know exactly what you mean. This is where I am.

Okay so whips remind you of a true story. This has to be good. Did you by any chance have a "special room" in your basement?

To me the math is pretty simple. Before WW left, she was deceitful, dishonest, fogged and I was not happy. I was always suspiscious, doubting, snooping to some extent but mot much. I hated that life. Now she has been gone and, although I am not overly happy, the misery has definitely gone from my life. The immediate source of pain has disappeared.

She has been gone a few short weeks. I have no expectation that she will come back and we will have anything different. I fully expect we will go right back to where we were before she left. Explain to me why I should be happy about that or why I should want her back.

Or, in a nutshell, better the devil you know than the one in Mexico.

Did I just kill my own thread?

Pio, I for one will be sort of sorry that she's coming back. You have been a different person since she's been gone. A happy person.

They tell me that American coastal airports are probably the worst place you want to enter a country from but they've already done it once on their trip out. Auckland/SF/London.

"Did you feel that you were thinking clearly when you were in the peak of your WW days?"

2much, I can only give you one example that has always made me cringe with shame. Well, a lot of things back then make me cringe with shame, but this is it in a nutshell.

In my old job I was PA to the CEO of the company I worked for. Part of my job was to provide lunch for the board when they met. I mean these guys were IMPORTANT. The OM had been in at the office (as a client) and I arranged to meet him for lunch. Lunch coincided with when I was meant to be providing lunch for the board (usually ordered ahead of time and served on the best boardroom dinner service).

I went to the sandwich bar up the road, bought about 12 sandwiches, stuck them on a staff room plate and dumped them in front of the board. I nearly lost my job during the A for that sort of thing - which happened regularly.

My boss knew about the A but his patience wore very, very thin with me. He was the one who told me that he knew OM and thought he was completely crap at business and couldn't for the life of him see what I saw in him. When I told Rob that, after Dday, it was one of the best things he'd ever heard.

I was a completely different person during the A and I wasn't a person I liked.

Well on a different subject, I raised a huge stink yesterday about the 2nd grader on the Division D soccer team. She is now history. I also complained about the coach and his not obeying the rules and told the committee that he was going to get someone seriously hurt. He wrote me and says he has coached soccer before but never young children so he is somewhat lost. He asked for my help. I said of course. Practice is tonight. So now I get to coach both C and D divisions. That's 50 little girls now. Why couldn't I have kept my mouth shut? I guess I know why - because DD2 wants to play soccer but I want her to do it safely. Did I mention she had 4 saves last week?

That is horrible! You do know you can sue for sexual discrimination? The nerve of that man! Is that all he thought of you??? <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/eek.gif" alt="" />

Do people run when they you see coming?

LOL about the PA. Or do you mean running round getting lunch for men.

Funny story and I could have got him for sexual harrassment for this one but he was a good guy.

I was fixing his printer once and I was under his desk plugging in cables etc. He was sitting at his desk. My phone rang (on my desk outside his office). He picked it up on his phone and said "Jenny's phone - may I help you." The other person obviously spoke and then he said "Oh she can't talk right now - she's under my desk."

Well it was a little funny.

Back on the serious subject. I guess that is my point. I know I am not happy but the intense and constant pain is gone. Why do I want that back?

Okay (pollyanna here) she could come back and be totally repentant, totally dedicated to the M, wanting it all back, etc. Let's just take that hypothetical case that she is completely over the A and totally committed to the A and to me. It's not that simple. There has been a lot of damage done. I am talking post-A damage.

The only way WW and I can stay together is a) to just start all over from scratch and b) she changes to some extent.

I meant about the PA. You know - the Monica Lewinsky syndrome that men in power have. I know what you meant by PA, however, in this context. Just couldn't resist. You were his Physician's Assistant.

Pio, I think that is the pollyanna approach.

To be honest, I don't think she's been gone long enough to have gone through a sea change.

It WAS too a funny story.

I don't either. Hence my dilemma. Basically I'm taking one for the team (i.e. the DDs). I hate that I have to do it. I hate ME for doing it. I guess in some way I am losing respect for myself by agreeing to let her come back.

Let's just hope she takes off the electric blanket...

I was his Personal Assistant. LOL.

Actually, his wife had an A which lasted about 5 minutes but he kicked her out. It changed him completely. I only worked for him after all that so I didn't know what he was like before but from the way he told it, he was the typical power crazed workaholic CEO.

Interestingly, his wife begged to come back 6 years after she left him. This all happened when I was working for him. He was in a new very happy relationship but it still threw him.

Have you spoken to her recently? Has there been any change in her attitude AT ALL?

Ohhhh THAT kind of PA <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/blush.gif" alt="" />

LOL, he was always a perfect gentleman. He was a great boss.

Not since I bought her ticket and I have no real plans to talk to her before she gets here. I do intend to have the DDs call her every few days. I have no need to speak to her.

Last time I spoke to her she said she missed me very much and she loved me. I replied that we would see her soon. I don't think that was lost on her. She noticed. I just couldn't say any more than that.

Well, that's all good, very good.

She's very beautiful and doesn't look shallow at all BTW. I always think people's intelligence shines out of their eyes and she has intelligent eyes. (I spent quite a bit of time looking through your family photos as you can see).

You, however.........


Just kidding with you. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />