No I totally agree with you. If I had been gemela, I would have had an A too. Can't really blame her, can I?

You obviously don't really want her to come back, so why are you letting her? I know what you said before about your vows and all that, but you both have to want the marriage for it to work.

Todd, you sound like you're done too, why are you still holding on?

Because it is based on feelings. I can't make this kind of decision based on feelings. I am not picking the color I want for a new car.

I have two children whose lives will ever be affected by whatever decision I make. It is not just a matter of what I want. If it weren't for the children, it would be a simply choice. No I don't feel like having her back will be a good thing for me. My DDs do want her back. My feelings might change as well. Alot of that depends on her.

Sorry but I got interrupted. DD1 calls me about 10 times every morning before school.

That has to be the most pathetic thing you have ever said. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/rolleyes.gif" alt="" />

You are a very good looking man.

But will it really be in the best interest of your daughters to grow up watching you in an unhappy marriage?
I don't have kids, so please don't take offense. I don't know what I would do if I did have kids and were in your situation.

Things are going to be tough for you for a long time until you decide one way or the other.

Cut me some slack. I say plenty of pathetic things. Too many to judge so quickly.

BTW,

I just want to apologize in advance. I may become very pathetic beginning Friday afternoon onwards. Fridays are always hard on me anyway (as 2much suggested - too much free time) but this will be my last Friday before WW is back. I am not sure what I am going to feel over those few days but I don't expect it to be joy and elation.

I know you say plenty of pathetic things. But that has to be the most pathetic thing you've EVER said.

Anyway, my mother will be here for dinner soon so gotta go.

Stop being pathetic. That's an order.

No it wouldn't be and that will never happen. But who is to say that my M cannot be recovered, given time. I believe in MB principles to a large extent. I just refuse to drink the kool-aid.

Using MB guidelines and, assuming we both want it, I do believe we could have a very happy marriage in time. If not, we divorce. But since I don't have a crystal ball, I can't know right now.

I understand that, but are you going to wait until after she comes back to decide you want it? I honestly believe your M can be recovered, but it doesn't sound like you want it to recover right now and I just think you both have to want it, if you follow MB or not. Wanting it is the first step.

Who decided she was coming home already? You haven't been in Plan B that long, have you? Did she show any remorse before she left?

Hola,

I have enjoyed very much reading the last five or seven pages, lol. It was very interesting, Saturdays and Sundays calm suit you'll. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/cool.gif" alt="" />

Pio,

It may help you to concentrate on your part of the marriage, in the things you can change about the way you react to her actions. The impression I get is that for some reason you have a clear picture of what is not acceptable from her but at the same time you can't say clearly what you need from her.

Justjulie said today that she has to learn to talk about issues from a present-future point of view instead of past-resentments point of view.

You are not satisfied with the way things were in the past, not only affair related and maybe you feel that you have to change everything that bothered you about her in the past.

Because of the damaged caused by the affair you 'read' G actions from a defensive point of view and you don't listen to what she says but what you think she's really wanting or thinking and althought you could have done that during the affair, it may be safer if you tried to listen to her, make her questions about her thoughts and desires and explain to her why you need her to explain herself clearly to you.

Avoid thinking on Pool Boy and avoid mentions of him to her in your talks with her. He's past history.

Dang, you're a bigger nerd that I thought. HD positraction by gawd. Hurst close ratio shifter. 400 ci engine. Hey, how many liters is that? It was on the side of my GTO and I still cannot remember.

And I would so be willing to do the work, if he would only do it with me. I could work for however long it takes, as long as he wasn't talking divorce. But that's all he keeps talking about. He's not going back and forth at all. He wants a divorce. Not much I can do about that, except Plan A, which I'm working on as much as I can.

6500cc

sorry 6.5 liters

Pio,

Thanks for looking out for me, but you guys can talk about cars. I'll be OK. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smirk.gif" alt="" />

Todd,

I liked the lyrics you posted. I saw a little bit of the video but my conection doesn't help to hear all the song continously.

It's interesting you mentioned Eric Fromm. He had a researching institution in the 70's in Cuernavaca, the same city where Pio took Spanish classes.
One of Fromm 'students' is now a prominent media Psyquiatr*
and he has managed to keep a scientific standar even in the stream of media demands. He came from Italy to study with Fromm and has written some books. Guisepe Amara is his name.
My first 'psy' book was Lost Fear of Freedom, I don't know how is the title in English. I find his reflection mostly still with vigence in todays world.

OMG, I just had a thought. OW was supposed to leave her BF at the end of the month...which would be today...what do I do if she did? And how will I know...starting to panic a little.

Am I still holding on? If I am holding on, somebody shoot me, would you please? WW called again tonight. I had just talked to DS1 and I thought it was he calling back. It was WW. Drunk. I hung up on her. She kept calling back and I ignored her.

Todd, sorry about the phone calls from a drunk WW, that s*cks.

Are you planning divorce?

Stph,

I think when the WS is talking about divorce and Plan B is not in effect some BS have used the 180º list.

This would be a nice pretext to call out BELIEVER and ask her if she would mind to post the link to the list, please? <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />