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Pio,
I just looked up the current weather for various cities in SA. Daytime highs of 100 - 103; overnight lows from mid 70's to mid 80's.
Why in the world do you need an electric blanket in SA?
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Hey Todd, do you know "Brilliant Disguise " by Bruce Springstein? Yes, great song and lyrics. I saw Bruce with others on an old Roy Orbison and Friends television show. It included Jackson Browne, Elvis Costello and others. Anyway, I knew Springsteen played guitar but I had no idea how good he is. He played a solo that was fantastic. Third class worked like a charm. The postal service just delivered it. They said normally they would wait ten days or so just for good measure but being the box was so wet, they wanted it out of their facility and in mine. This place must have crockpot radar. They have alread confiscated the crock pot and its contents. It must be good. They didn't bring any back to me. But thank you.
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~~~~~~~~~~~~in wafts the Aquanet~~~~~ I sprayed on extry just for my fine silly foreign friend, piojitas. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />
Todd, there is no such thing as an "AA intervention." AA has nothing to do with that. AA is a voluntary [usually] program for alcoholics who are there to quit drinking. I don't know anyone who got to AA via an intervention, but I know lots of folks who got there when they hit their bottom or when they were forced there by a judge, employer, or spouse. All of which have [usually] LEVERAGE or power over the alcoholic.
I don't know your situation, but I do know that Plan A is about the WORST thing you can do with an alcholic and Dr. Harley does not recommend it. Plan A is simply a new opportunity for exploitation for the alcoholic. It will not endear the alcoholic to the BS, because the alcoholic does not have normal emotions and reactions. Plan A=ENABLING in the case of an addict.
The best plan for someone married to an alcoholic is a very dark Plan B and the complete absence of enabling. All money should be cut off. Anything that will help the alcoholic hit bottom is helpful.
For yourself, I would recommend Alanon. They can teach you how to live a productive life while married to an alcoholic. Actually, they teach you to see through all our bullcrap, which is why we hate them! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/wink.gif" alt="" />
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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I sprayed on extry just for my fine silly foreign friend, piojitas So now I'm silly, foreign and GAY??? <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/mad.gif" alt="" />
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Ola, muchacha! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />
edited for foolish American mistake! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/rolleyes.gif" alt="" />
Last edited by MelodyLane; 10/01/06 10:20 AM.
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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So now I'm silly, foreign and GAY??? And your point is.....?
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Sorry, Pio. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/frown.gif" alt="" />
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Doesn't she have children? More likely your WH will get stuck baby-sitting. She has an 8-year old son (that just loves WH, BTW, how nice). I don't think she would have WH baby-sit, if anything, they would do things as a "family". Think I'm going to throw up again...
BS (me)-26 WH-27 Dday-August 2006 0 kids Married 4 years NC established 1-26-07 status-working on it
"Sometimes, I'm afraid and I don't feel that tough...but I'll stand back up."
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I honestly believe your M can be recovered, but it doesn't sound like you want it to recover right now and I just think you both have to want it, if you follow MB or not. Wanting it is the first step. Actually Stef, in all reality, this is not necessarily true at first. Trust me on that. How can you recover something or fight for something that you don't even want? What's the motivation? I can do Plan A all I want, but I can't make WH want our marriage to work, and if I try to make our M work, he's going to resist every effort I make, because he knows what I'm doing and doesn't want me to change his mind.
BS (me)-26 WH-27 Dday-August 2006 0 kids Married 4 years NC established 1-26-07 status-working on it
"Sometimes, I'm afraid and I don't feel that tough...but I'll stand back up."
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stph20,
I know the pain is unbearable but them spending all kinds of time together is good for you and bad for the A. The A is exciting because it is fantasy. Once WH has to take on domestic responsibilities, the A isn't so much fun any more. BF leaving and giving WH free reign is a good thing to have happen, IMO. Even better is if OW and WH live together. They will really learn to hate each other then.
The A can't last. You have not really exposed it all that much so it still has the veil of secrecy. OW promises the world to WH. WH wants the world. Now OW has to deliver on those promises. She can't. If WH is in financial troubles and tried to get OW's help, watch out. BF has been an enabler of your WH's affair. It is good that he is gone because he can no longer help the A.
Even if BF has not encouraged the affair actively, he has supported it passively by not kicking the living sh*t out of your WH. Sorry but that is what he should have done. I have exposed to everybody we know, why is that not enough? But, what if they do start spending more time together and really do fall in love? They already think they are, I don't know what can convince either of them that they're not. I agree BF should have kicked WH's a** too.
BS (me)-26 WH-27 Dday-August 2006 0 kids Married 4 years NC established 1-26-07 status-working on it
"Sometimes, I'm afraid and I don't feel that tough...but I'll stand back up."
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Stef - if he wanted a divorce he would have filed by now. Ignore what he SAYS. Get this through into your brain. I'm TRYING to ignore what he says. He says he would have filed already if he didn't have to have the 6 month separation period and he could afford a lawyers retainer. Those are the only reasons he's still married to me at this point. That's why I'm trying to change his mind.
BS (me)-26 WH-27 Dday-August 2006 0 kids Married 4 years NC established 1-26-07 status-working on it
"Sometimes, I'm afraid and I don't feel that tough...but I'll stand back up."
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BTW, Yes according to her thread, she did finally expose to OWBF. He was really nice about it. It is likely the reason OWBF is moving out but I don't know that for sure. I did expose to BF and to OW's mother. WH said, if anything, I made OW leaving BF easier...I'm not sure how that works, but whatever. She is the one that's moving out. She's supposed to be moving in with her parents with her son. Still freaking out. Need to calm down. I'm so scared.
BS (me)-26 WH-27 Dday-August 2006 0 kids Married 4 years NC established 1-26-07 status-working on it
"Sometimes, I'm afraid and I don't feel that tough...but I'll stand back up."
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WH said, if anything, I made OW leaving BF easier...I'm not sure how that works, but whatever.
She is the one that's moving out. She's supposed to be moving in with her parents with her son. You mean she is SAYING she is "moving out." Talk is cheap with a WS, Steph. Words do not equal action. Further, if the affair destroys her relationship with her BF and she is forced to move in with her parents, that will cause nothing but conflict in the affair. It will also place great pressure on your H to take her in with the OW's child. That will be another blow to the affair. Do you think you would like to have to move back with your mother? hmmmmm
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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It's her choice to leave BF and move in with her parents.
And my H is currently living with his mother, so they can't go live with him.
BS (me)-26 WH-27 Dday-August 2006 0 kids Married 4 years NC established 1-26-07 status-working on it
"Sometimes, I'm afraid and I don't feel that tough...but I'll stand back up."
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It's her choice to leave BF and move in with her parents.
And my H is currently living with his mother, so they can't go live with him. Well, yes they could go and live with him. He is not endentured to live with his mother. He can go and get an apartment any time he wants. And I seriously doubt she "chose" to go live with her mother because she adores her mother, but because she has no other choice. Most folks don't choose that unless they have to. So, don't look at this as a bad thing, but a GOOD THING. This will put pressure on your H to take her and her child in. And no adult LIKES going back and living with their parents.
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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I'm still not following...how is it a good thing? They both chose to live with their mothers because that's a better alternative to being with BF and me.
BS (me)-26 WH-27 Dday-August 2006 0 kids Married 4 years NC established 1-26-07 status-working on it
"Sometimes, I'm afraid and I don't feel that tough...but I'll stand back up."
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I thought I already explained this ....TWICE?
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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Here's what happened in my case.
I believe ex was having an affair while we were married. It was never confirmed but through his behavior after we separated & the fact he moved in with his gf (into her house) two weeks after the D was final I feel I can say he was cheating in either an EA or PA.
They worked together for years & still do. ex is 43 she is about 36 - 38 from what my kids say. She has never married & does not have kids. I thought once the reality of having to negotiate kids & having my boys around when she's used to not sharing would be a cold dose of reality. Especially because she was very resentful of time ex spent with the boys & showed much inflexability regarding his time with them.
Anyway, he moved in with her Jan. of '06 & is still with her. I'm guessing they're "soul mates", puke.
Formerly nam
here since 07/31/03
coastal, CT
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"soul mates?" lol Are they high schoolers? <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/wink.gif" alt="" />
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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