My neighbor is a dentist and this is his first Ramadan in Saudi Arabia. I got to thinking about that. For those who don't know, Ramadan is the Muslim holy month and is so because it is believed to be the month in which Alah gave the Koran to Mohammed. The month is marked by fasting from danw till dusk, devotion to prayers, abstinence from carnal pleasures, etc.

Eating or drinking anything during the day is a serious sin and fasting during the month of Ramadan is one of the five pillars of Islam. The fasting is so strict that a Muslim should not even pick his nose because he might accidently forget and put his finger in his mouth and swallow something he shouldn't.

Okay so what does this have to do with my neighbor the dentist? I'm getting to that. The fasting rules are so strict that they can't even brush their teeth in daytime lest they accidentally swallow some toothpaste dissolved in their spit. So imagine being a dentist and none of your patients have brushed their teeth, gargled, rinsed - nothing. For an entire month! Makes proctology not look so bad after all. I feel sorry for my neighbor.

I have zero expectations that she will change or be honest. I have no interest in R with lies and/or the drinking. NC, Plan B, Plan C; none of it matters. I am no longer trying to R.

And, we have not had this converation for weeks. I have talked about having it for some time but not the conversation itself.

Withdrawal - aka a dark Plan B is also what Melody Lane suggested. She also asked if your wife ever drives under the influence because if she does you can get her picked up. Possible jail time might get her into AA. She has to hit bottom Todd.

No, she does not drive while drunk. That would be her best friend.

nams,

I have never heard of the group you mentioned. There is an old folk song called 500 miles but that's the extent that I know.

They took the crockpot from me but did bring me back a papercup full of the food that was inside. Problem is, it was cold. No microwave, stove or even a hair dryer and I didn't want to eat it cold. Then I remembered: I have an iron. Those things can get hot. I took two coat hangers and bent them in a way as to form a cradle for an upside down iron. I put the papercup and the food inside on top of the iron and decided to go for a walk.

I was not even back to my room when I heard the sirens. They took the iron and the food, well I am sorry, the food is full of fire extinguisher contents. They also took my flashlight and my matches. The fire marshall said if they have to come out again, I will be arrested. At least I would get three squares that way.

I just have three words for you: "ground fault interruptor".

I have three words for you......

No, I don't - I'm speechless with laughter.

However did I let this one go by. What was I thinking?

I was looking for the Harley article on alcholism when I found that.

As you know, it's probably an article I should read.

I have GFI here. But it didn't get wet. It was the smoke. The smoke alarm at this joint is too sensitive. I worry about going to jail but honestly, I have nothing left that generates heat. No, wait, my notebook gets very hot. Where is that frozen burrito?

OW is nothing to me. I'm more concerned about the problems in our M that led him to have the A than I am about the A itself.

Trade it in for a Dell. I understand some of those can get quite toasty indeed. Check the battery number first though.

I just got off the phone with WH. It was pretty good. We did not talk about our relationship or divorce AT ALL, I'm very proud to report. I was tempted to a couple of times, but I didn't want you all to be mad at me anymore (especially BigK).

Plus, I'm still grounded for another 2 days.

Anyway, we talked for 110 minutes and 47 seconds. I'm not sure why he originally called me. He started out by saying he was doing math in his head...he lost me, but started asking about the bills. I think he just wanted to talk to me for some reason. And I say that because he hasn't called me like that before. He sounded almost nervous. Then he told me a bunch of stories about work and I told him some of my stories about work. He asked me if I wanted to have lunch with him tomorrow. I agreed...not sure what that means either, but I'm going to try not to analyze it. And he's coming over here Wednesday evening for dinner.

Obviously you have never bought "The Single Man's Cookbook". Check it out at Waldenbooks. I think it is now in paperback.

I'll quote for you from my copy:

"When reheating food on an upside down iron, always use a low setting. Never reheat on linen or cotton setting. A useful tip for reheating tortillas is to warm them first and then place them on the ironing board and set the iron on cotton setting. Wait until the iron has come to temperature. Firmly press down on the tortilla and then give it two quick jets of steam..."

Do you need an ISBN number?

This is too funny. I tried to buy that exact book a couple of months after I moved out. The clerk noticed my wedding band and refused to sell me the book. I asked to see the manager. She said so many married men had bought the book that single men were left out. So, of course, American ingenuity being what it is, I simply went to another bookstore but first removed my wedding band. They could see my tan line and told me that married men try that stunt every day. Still not deterred, I went to a tanning joint. I wrapped tape around my left hand and fingers but left an opening over my wedding band tan line. Since the white ring on my finger had not see the sun in over thirty six years, it turned red and the next bookstore I visited noticed the red area. This explains why I bought the Betty Crockerpot in the first place. It came with a free Crockerpot cookbook. That's how I started the first fire. No, no more cooking for me. I am done. I will eat yogurt and animal crackers from here on out and sit around in my dark room (they removed the lightbulbs) in wrinkled clothes.

yeah, right! Like you actually ironed clothes. Gimme a break!

Besides, if it's dark, nobody will see the wrinkles. I've mentioned this before. Wash your clothes and sleep in them. It takes most of the wrinkles right out.

I have slept in my clothes for many years now. What is this wash thing? Am I supposed to wash my clothes? They get washed when I shower.

My goodness Stef. I am very proud of you. You MIGHT even be getting it.

By the way, I want to extend your ban for another 10 days.

And the SF you will be tempted to have with him on Wednesday is a HUGE No-NO. NO SF until he comes back home for good and you are BOTH screened for STD's

He11 Stef - he just wants to talk to you. He's telling yu about work, he wants to have lunch with you.... This is ALL excellent. Really good.

It is the year 2035 and brain tranplants have become common. A man was told by his doc to select a new brain and get scheduled for surgery.

He visited a new showroom. The host led him to the first room. There was a brain in a display case. It had a lone spotlight on it.

"Sir", said the host, "this brain belonged to a physican. He had a 146 IQ and was 29 when he died. This brain is priced at $25,000."

The host led the man to the second showroom. The showroom was more elaborate than the first. Much nicer case and better and more lights. The host continued: "Sir, this brain came from a physicist. He died at 43 and had an IQ of 173. $50,000 is the price for this brain".

The host and the man walked down a long corridor. It opened up into the most magnificent room the man had ever seen. Music was piped in and the light display was dazzling. "This is our Mercedes" said the host. "This brain belonged to an attorney, who had an IQ of 105 and who died at 89. The price for this wonderful brain is $250,000".

The man looked stunned. "I don't get it. This brain is older and has a smaller IQ than the first two we saw, yet it is a quarter of a million dollars?"

The host smiled: "Yes, you see, this one has never been used".