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Obviously I am not in the same situation (yet?) but my thought is how the kids perceive this. They have limited time with Dad and now Dad wants to limit that time further because GF is more important. Looking at it from the kids' POV, I would say it is important that they have the most structure the two of you can provide. Kids adapt better when things are predictable. I think it is easier for adults to adjust than for them. I agree that DS should see the concert. I also think you are doing great to not readjust your life to meet GF's needs. My view is that a promise is a promise. Dad promised the kids he would see them. He should see them and screw the GF (figuratively, of course) <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/eek.gif" alt="" />
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larousse,
let me get this straight. He-man plumber busts into your apartment (literally) and then proceeds to tell you stories about all his exploits while flexing his muscles? I have never seen a plumber wear cologne on the job. Are you SURE there was a leak upstairs???
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I only sit on the students who ask politley, ya know pretty please! The ones who don't can only watch. Naughty Pio. To my credit, I saw that post hours ago but declined to reply. After larousse decided to take up that mantle, I could no longer resist. Sorry.
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I agree with you about people expecting the NMNK (never married, no kids) men or women to be more accomodating can be an unfair expectation. HOWEVER, this is a woman who knowingly got involved with a man with 3 kids. I've even heard she persued him. To then expect the ex W, me, to bend over backwards to accomodate their social plans, I don't think so.
I'd heard at one point in their fairy tale romance ex almost broke up with her because she was being unreasonable about a picnic they had planned & middle son had a Dr.s appointment that conflicted. ex TOLD me I MUST cancel, middle son couldn't posible make this long standing appointment. Words out of her stupid mouth. Should she be more accomodating? IMO, yes.
Formerly nam
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I saw that too but decided to see if it would slip by unnoticed. Guess not.
I do not like to, nor do I, drag my boys into these situations with ex. But this directly affects older son & I needed to let him know he can spend the night with me Sat. if his father can't work out this social dilemma. I don't want him to tell his father this as ex may try tyo make it work to his advantage.
My guess is gf is starting to resent, again, the amount of time 3 children take away from her & ex's perfect romance. I guess the soul mate manual didn't talk much about the needs of kids.
When he first asked me to change the three day weekend I figured some lucious travel opportunity came up for him & gf which the children interfered with. I can almost picture their two idjiot faces trying to figure a way to get me to help them with their problem.
Formerly nam
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Sorry Nam, I expressed incorrectly, by 'no dating no attached woman' I meant you, not OW.
It's my language handicap, I thought not attached meant a woman without a partner, a husband or a BF, for the moment, meaning you. I thought that for your XH and his OW it may seem easy to ass_ume that as you don't have a BF at the moment, acording to them you may not have weekend commitments.
Sorry Nam, I didn't mean to say that you should acomodate to his and her selfish demands in anyway, shape or form.
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me thinks larousse has indeed noticed the plumber & the pencil stored in his crack & she's liking it. Now I want to get this right so I don't get this smelling of stuff mixed up...the pencil no...the colonge if perhaps your BF is an exbf?
Formerly nam
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But I do understand that point of veiw as I have a NMNK friend who has dated men with children. She is unique I believe in that she wants the man to put his children first, it is a man devoted to his children that she likes. But there are times the two might work together rather than to exclusion of on or the other.
Formerly nam
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Personally I don't like to touch the plumber's invoice for his services - at least if it's written in pencil.
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I'm having coffee people, you can't make me laugh so hard. BF is very much boyfriend. Not only that, he tells me what to tell the workers, plumber included. I hesitate a little, wondering if the comments of an American would appply to Mx construction habits. Every time BF has been correct in the way things should be done and the way I should handle the workers. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" /> I promise not to look at any man behind or front for that matter, until BF arrival in two weeks. I was going to go this time but he got a deal that gets him three trips for the price of one mine. Now, no pencil comments please, I'm going to have breakfast.
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Bawhaha Pio!
Now getting back to the students who don't ask nicely for me to sit on them.
They must not only be relegated to watching, for some this is what they like, they must bring whatever it is they want to sit on since I don't provide that. For some it may be a doll referred to earlier or a special chair one might find in an adult store geared to women. Or, you know, some men.
Formerly nam
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What's to see in the front larousse?
Formerly nam
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Bad Nam... <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />
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Yes larousse you're right. I think ex & gf do [censored] u me because I don't have a SO in my life I'm in a position to accomodate their social life. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/rolleyes.gif" alt="" />IDJIOTS!
Formerly nam
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Gotto go. I have to get middle son dress clothes for an opera he'll be attending tomorrow. His three sets of dress cloths from last year no longer fit this sweet boy who is 12 & taller than me. Good luck with the plumber. Let it slip you have a BF...oh wait maybe not..then he may forgo the cologne & use his pencil. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/eek.gif" alt="" />
Formerly nam
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And Stef - just so you know, I do intend on keeping grounding you. You just may save your marriage. Can you see how your husband is changing and you are becoming attractive to him again? You have the upper hand Stef. I figured that was your intent. So, I printed out the reverse babble, Pep's carrot and stick of Plan A, and Mr Wondering's list. I am starting to see how he is changing, I just don't trust it yet. But I am more motivated to continue on in Plan A! And, I'm going to have to respectfully disagree with you on having him spend the night. It is still technically his house and I'm working tonight, so I won't get home until about 10 pm, so we won't have too much time to spend together anyway. I plan on going about my business when I get home tonight, just like any other night.
BS (me)-26
WH-27
Dday-August 2006
0 kids
Married 4 years
NC established 1-26-07
status-working on it
"Sometimes, I'm afraid and I don't feel that tough...but I'll stand back up."
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Bolita M,
Thank you for ordering me another pair of glasses. Thank you for the case too.
Love,
Valeria
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OK, haven't made it out the door yet. No clean clothes & a shower put me in slow down mode.
Late breaking news.
ex contacts me to say "OK, thanks. I'll pick up oldest son after concert."
Now I can relax.
gf will likely be pissed. I wonder if I'll get a hang up call.
Formerly nam
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If you ever send the Hope diamond by DHL, Saudi customs doesn't care how much something is really worth - they only care what you put down as the "declared value" on the airway bill. So value the diamond at about $5.00 and they don't charge customs because it just isn't worth the bother. So basically - LIE!
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Now I can relax.
gf will likely be pissed. I'm sorry - what's my motivation here?
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