I wish I had know about the peyote. It would have made the ride much more pleasant.

Oh and about the photo - put a jacket on will you? That's disgusting! Laying there naked and all. At least Miriam had the decency to put a jacket on!

OK Stef - I changed the link for Plan A in my signature - Pep's Carrot and Stick of Plan A in the Just Found out forum is much better than the one I originally linked as in subsequent posts she explains every part. Click on it and read Pep's posts.

http://www.marriagebuilders.com/ubbt/sho...e=0#Post2995076

Oh Stef - this is a list I've seen posted by MrWondering a few times - Print it out and stick it where you will look at it often:

DOs

1. Act Happy
2. Get a life (new activities, etc.)
3. repeat over and over..."I will make it"
4. Actively LISTEN....keep conversations at "to the point...small talk" ...don't blow it up beyond the waywards current comfort zone
5. Tend to Agree (Thank you for your truthfulness, It seems that way, you have a point)
6. Expand your social relationships (Being especially aware of your own vulnerability and keeping sharing and time with opposite sex relationships to an absolute minimum)
7. Get sexy (gym, new clothes, etc)
8. Focus on your strengths and Positives...don't put yourself down verbally or constantly go over what you did wrong
9. Accept Uncertainty (Do your best today and let God take care of tommorrow)

DON'Ts

1. Repeatedly say "I love you"
2. Ask questions that don't have answers yet
3. Criticize, complain, whine or nag
4. Say, "I've changed"....allow the wayward spouse to simply judge your actions
5. Argue, Reason or Plead
6. Don't get family or friends overly involved in recovery (notice I said "in recovery", EXPOSURE to bust up an active affair IS ESSENTIAL and EXPOSURE to the OP's spouse is an absolute MUST)
7. Act helpless or depressed
8. Discuss morality, invoke God or Dr. Laura type babble
9. Suggest marital counseling (must be the waywards idea)
10. Tell them continually "we need to work on the relationship"
11. GIVE UP

I put a jacket on, when I finished work.

BK, the title of make ruler really make you pull out your resources. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />

Good stuff, Stph20. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/wink.gif" alt="" />

Yep Todd made it go right to my head. LOL.

BK, this is going to be the War of the Rulers. Hahhaha

Morning Ma'am, I mean Nam, <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

How are you today?

I was curious, did you study to be a teacher and then took a specialization to be art teacher? There is a MB LWP36 that's struggling to reach a decision between settling to be a teacher or pursue the acreditations to be art teacher.

Ya know lunamare? larousse has a brilliant idea: call a plumber! That should solve your problems.

And if you get lucky, you'll get to see some butt-crack too!

Is that you larousse looking so very pretty?

You're not the only one who would love to have a one on one pottery teacher. Honestly, what they need most is time at the wheel to improve their skills. Students will often look for the magic approach to making pottery. They think I can impart THE perfect technique. So much of pottery is about feeling your way with the clay. What works for me may not work or be comfortable for you. Time & the commitment to get it right is what works. Otherwise known as practice.

One night stands? EW! Not even in my dreams. Plus, think of the cootees!

Pio, I didn't see the pctures larousse saw but how nice you were able to make G's dream of seeing The Taj Mahal come true.

Todd, what I mean about being too understanding of your WW's inability to fess up to her affair & her not acknowledging your illness is that the reasoning sounds likeit staight out of a pop psyc. book which to me screams excuse & entitlement.

I can picture it now a BS says to a WS "Do you think you can't acknowledge your affair because it's too horrible to contemplate that you have gone against all you beleive in to screw OP?" WS quickly calculates their chances of success at getting away with something & says "YES! That's exactly right! I'm so torn apart by what I've done I just can't imagine it's even true." The next second they're on the phone to OP making plans for whatever or just to say ILY. GAWD! PUKE.

Good morning larousse! Have you been up all night?

I've made the choice to go for my master's in art education now it's a matter of paper work & being accepted. Classes would start after the new year.

So far gemela's panacea is "I wasn't thinking" or "when you are having an affair, you don't think". So gemela is blaming everything on the affair and is therefore completely innocent because it was all natural (affairs do that to people don't they?) and beyond her control.

She is taking the best of SAA and using it to explain all her ills and now she has nothing to be responsbile for. She is taking the temporary insanity defense.

Still Pio?

Nam,

I tried to sleep but I'm freezing. Brrrr. I feel like pinguin with all the windows open to let the plaster dry on time before the painters come to work tomorrow.
Maybe LWP is facing that choice, I'm not sure I understand quite well but her WS is pushing her to divorce and she doesn't know if she should seek work with the certification she has or pursue the Art teacher certificate.

Pio, the plomber that worked in the appartment upstairs tells incredible stories. He says he was a fightern, kind of Nelson? the kind that make the kind of coreographie the hamsters tried on the new arrival.

Nam,
if you teach me clay you won't sit on top of me, would you?
<img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/eek.gif" alt="" />

He's just trying to impress you. Do Mexican plumbers have visible butt-crack like American plumbers? In the USA, I think it is a union requirement - besides - it is a great place to keep your pencil so it is always handy when you need it.

You see? I might have gone the other way with that <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/blush.gif" alt="" />

I have a parenting issue I'd lke some feedback on. I posted it on after D/dating board early this morning after waking up too early & letting it piss me off. I think I'm less panicy now.

ex & I try to accomodate changes in scheduling concerning the kids. I have done the majority of accomodating & mostly weekend changes.

ex asked me last week if I would change this 3 day weekend. I said no I can't I'm busy. He askes again last night but askes only for Sat. afternoon to Sun. morning. No I say, I'm busy.

The problem is my oldest son wants to go to a day time with concert with a friend he has had planned for at least a month. As it is he will be staying with me Fri. night because I live closer to the concert location & the friend's parents can pick up & drop son off at my house. That's one accomodation.

ex was to pick up son Sat. evening then he would spend the remainder of the WE with him. Now he's asked for oldest to stay here Sat. night as well & bring the other two Sat. afternoon to spend the night & he will pick them up Sun.

Uh, no, I'm busy.

The problem is I don't want son to miss the concert because ex is selfish. I just found out from son this morning ex wants to attend gf's class reunion. I'm not feeing like baling ex & gf outof their little bind. Hey, thisis what a never married no kids woman gets when she hooksup with a mna with 3 kids. They come with responsibilities you @^*#@!

I've told oldest son he can stay here Sat. IF his father can't manage to make this work out. What I don't want is ex try to fanagle anything else involving the other two. Oldest son can feed himself & spend more time alone than the others can.

To top it off ex trys to word things in such a way that he thinks I will find appealing which I can see coming out of gf's mouth. IDJIOTS!

I only sit on the students who ask politley, ya know pretty please! The ones who don't can only watch. Naughty Pio.

Nam,

I have not experience at all about your situation.

From an outsider point of view seems easy to say that you should do what better suit you and your boys, no matter what your X wants.

I have no idea if it's an issue but sometimes family and friends tend to see the no dating no attached woman as the one who should be more adaptable to the needs of all around.
Unfair, I tell you.

Todd, the other part, the part about your wife not acknowledging your illness is bizarre. This also seems too easy to say she can't imagine you're not the invincible man she's always relied on.

I seems more like selfishness gone to the extreme. She doesn't want it to be true so she puts away under I don't want to deal with this 'cause it will be a pain in my a!! & goes on her it's all about me entitlement path.

Were you ever able to see Sandi Gold's 20/20 piece?

Pio,

the plomber doesn't show his crack but he neither has an impressive behind as far as I can notice, oops. He does fold the already short sleeves of his T-Shirts and always smell to just applied lotion. I find that nice in a non sexual way, like a man who takes care of himself even when he does such a 'dirty' job.