Ok, guys, here I am again. He stopped by this morning. Only stayed an hour or so. We had a nice visit. Laughed and talked and had breakfast together - all three of us. He had to meet someone for a job quote at 10:00 so he had to go. Offered to drop off d at my mom's on the way. He's coming to hear her sing on Friday night at the festival and, if he's not working, said he'll be here all day on Saturday to help out around here. My only lovebuster, I guess, was that I asked him to come alone on Friday. I told him d couldn't take seeing him w/ someone else yet. He said "Really? OK" that's it.<P>When he left, he stayed behind in the den for d to go start the car and he gave ME a hug this time. I didn't have to chase him down - usually I do, but the hugs are WONDERFUL, so it's worth it. I walked him to the door and he stood w/ it open and leaned down and then stopped himself. I started laughing "you almost kissed me, didn't you?" He grinned (God I love that grin!) "Yeah, I can't do that anymore!" He hugged me again and I kissed him on the cheek, told him I loved him. I did find out that he came by on Tuesday when I wasn't home and took a few long-sleeved things. He asked if that bothered me and I told him Yes. Well, it does! He said he wouldn't have done it but he was in town to see the dr and he needed something for a side job. I don't think he'll do it again.<P>So, tell me, my friends, what is wrong with me? Why did I promptly go to the bathroom and lose my breakfast and then proceed to start crying once they left? I haven't cried in days. Just been nervous and jumpy - intuition kicking in. It was a nice visit, we all got along - had a good time. What on earth is wrong with me? No mention of the attorney - not much time really. <P>I give up! I just don't understand - him or me at this point. I can't get angry, I can't get hopeful, I just keep feeling empty and frustrated. It's been 8 weeks!

Hi Lori,<BR>I think your like me. I too had a pretty good visit. We talk, we kid around, and we get along. But once they leave we feel like dog poo. I get the same way and I am not sure why.<P>It may be the sense of loss. Because we love them so much and we see that we can get along and do this and they still leave, It's like we are losing them all over again..... Every time. Espicially when they are affectionate. <P>Our lovebank get double deposits for the same stuff they did before because we are so hurt( hugs and kisses ), but then the huge withdrawl comes when they leave.<P>Then the loneliness set in...... Oh man, While they are here we aren't lonely. We don't even think about it. Then they leave......Ouch. So Lori, know that you are not alone, I too feel like you. One day we will be happy though, Hopefully with our spouses but if not with someone else. We deserve to be happy after all this pain we have endured. Take care<P>------------------<BR>Rutger......One day at a time.<P>

Thanks, Rutger. Holding on to the forum like a lifeline today. At least I know I'm not the only one - that helps. I've been keeping up with you, too. Praying that your w will come around. Don't you just hate not being able to figure things out?????<P>Guess we keep hanging in, huh?<P>Lori

Lori sounds like an upswing in the rollercoaster. I'm just perplexed by the "I can't do that anymore" comment otherwise everything sounded good to me.<P>It seems like he thinks he has fixed his problem. When he thinks it is fixed might be the right time to find out more. Someone on your other thread had some good ideas on how to find out more without confronting him. Are you going to follow up on those ideas? Otherwise hang in there, you don't know what the next drop will be like till you get to the top so enjoy the ride up.<P>------------------<BR>It's always darkest before the dawn

Awoken - Yep - gonna start snoopin'! It's something I haven't really done much of, but I have to figure out this missing piece. Actually, in my state, I misquoted the kiss thing.<P>"Yeah - I can't ever do that again."<P>YUK - I wanted that one too!!!! Needed it!!<P>I'm hanging in - just a little (ok a lot) blue. Miss him so much. And I can feel it - he misses us, too. That's the part that frustrates me. I just wanna walk up and say "Get your butt home!!!! NOW!!) I know, lovebuster, right??!!! Ok, back to my self-control mode.<P>Thanks for the input. <P>Lori