Welcome to the
Marriage Builders® Discussion Forum

This is a community where people come in search of marriage related support, answers, or encouragement. Also, information about the Marriage Builders principles can be found in the books available for sale in the Marriage Builders® Bookstore.
If you would like to join our guidance forum, please read the Announcement Forum for instructions, rules, & guidelines.
The members of this community are peers and not professionals. Professional coaching is available by clicking on the link titled Coaching Center at the top of this page.
We trust that you will find the Marriage Builders® Discussion Forum to be a helpful resource for you. We look forward to your participation.
Once you have reviewed all the FAQ, tech support and announcement information, if you still have problems that are not addressed, please e-mail the administrators at mbrestored@gmail.com
Previous Thread
Next Thread
Print Thread
Page 379 of 613 1 2 377 378 379 380 381 612 613
nams #1694218 10/17/06 09:17 PM
Joined: Apr 2005
Posts: 1,775
N
Member
Offline
Member
N
Joined: Apr 2005
Posts: 1,775
This will be quick & I could very easily be wrong but I think I see a pattern. You are giving, especially in a physical way, I don't mean sex, & your H takes advantage then scurries away. He gets a fix then decides that's not what he wants.


Formerly nam here since 07/31/03 coastal, CT
nams #1694219 10/17/06 09:28 PM
Joined: Oct 2005
Posts: 7,464
B
Member
Offline
Member
B
Joined: Oct 2005
Posts: 7,464
Well Nams - this is one of the reasons Stef was banned from SF with WH.


Me: 56 (FBS) Wife: 55 (FWW)
D-Day August 2005
Married 11/1982 3 Sons 27,25,23
Empty Nesters.
Fully Recovered.
nams #1694220 10/17/06 09:39 PM
Joined: Jan 2006
Posts: 6,128
P
Member
OP Offline
Member
P
Joined: Jan 2006
Posts: 6,128
I can see how cooling rate could cause microbubbles easily enough. It is a really problem in any solvent system but can just as easily be caused by heating too rapidly. For example, the glaze might polymerize through an esterification reaction. The is a type of chemical reaction that gives off water as a by-product. When you heat the glaze up, a chemical reaction takes place and the solvent that kept your glaze liquid has to go away. But if the glaze sets up too quickly, it can trap bubbles or microbubbles of solvent within the matrix and they are essentially there forever unless the glaze cracks and allows them to escape.

As an example, in my past life, we used solvent based varnish systems on motor windings. We used to heat the motor from the outside in and if we did that too fast, the varnish would start to cure and trap solvent pockets within the winding. Once the varnish formed a shell around the bubble, no amount of heat or time would free the solvent. One characteristic of esterification reactions is that they are always reversible (i.e. add water and the polymer breaks down). So the solvent trapped in the winding varnish would slowly dissolve it with time. We experimented with solventless systems but they proved to be uneconomic because they made the motors impossible to repair. So we instead went to a controlled rate of heating and we heated the motors from the inside out. That drove the solvent out of the varnish before it had a chance to set.

As far as glossy vs. matte, I expect that is just a surface phenomenon whereby the layers of glaze shrink at different rates. Keep in mind that your pottery piece is probably shrinking too and the glaze has to shrink with it. Then if you could look at a cross-section of the glaze itself, you would see it as layers with each layer shrinking at its own rate. If there is a big difference between shrink rate between layers, a lot of stress is built up placing layers in tension/compression which will likely cause them to deform. If the glaze is really hard, you can cool it fast enough so that the glaze becomes stronger than the internal force.

Think about how glass is made compared to safety glass. Regular glass is heated to form the glass and then cooled very slowly. it is very fragile. Safety glass is quenched very quickly so that the glass in the middle of the pane is still hot (and expanded) while the oustides of the glass is cool (and shrunk). As the inner part of the glass cools, it tries to shrink but can't because the glass on the outside is already hardened and won't allow it. So this need to shrink places the outer layers of the glass in tremendous compression making them very tough. Once that outer layer is scratched, however, the glass will shatter into a billion pieces if hit hard enough. So it is not just chemistry. Heating and cooling rate will have a significant affect on the final result.

BTW, did you know that glass is technically not a solid? It is actually a super-cooled liquid.

Do you fire your pieces and then glaze them or do you do it all in one shot?

[and stph thinks SHE can bring a thread down - HA!]

piojitos #1694221 10/17/06 09:50 PM
Joined: Oct 2005
Posts: 7,464
B
Member
Offline
Member
B
Joined: Oct 2005
Posts: 7,464
I did know that about Glass. I knew some people who had a real old thick glass door. It was noticably thicker at the bottom. The glass flowed over the years.


Me: 56 (FBS) Wife: 55 (FWW)
D-Day August 2005
Married 11/1982 3 Sons 27,25,23
Empty Nesters.
Fully Recovered.
piojitos #1694222 10/17/06 09:52 PM
Joined: Jan 2006
Posts: 6,128
P
Member
OP Offline
Member
P
Joined: Jan 2006
Posts: 6,128
stph,

Continuing what I started last night, I doubt your H ever sat down one day and asked himself "what's the easiest way out of my M? Hey, I know! and affair!". But it is interesting that, at some point, he did come to the conclusion that you would automatically want a divorce. Put that in context. I am sure my WW never ver had that thought. She was caught up in the moment. She never thought about divorce, exposure, being caught, etc. She just enjoyed the affair. It was a magic bubble that protected her from the real world.

I imagine that your WH is in love with OW because he is happy with her. But he could just as easily be that happy with a billion other women. There is nothing really special about this one. No "soulmate". She is convenient because she provides happiness and (so he thought) gives him an express ticket out of the marriage. Well you didn't play by the rules. He assumed that if he wanted out of the M and you must have wanted the same thing. In short, his decisions were driven more by convoluted logic than emotion.

I simply think that it is much easier to kill that kind of an affair and change his way of thinking than to kill the romantic affair. If it was an exit affair, that brings the balance even further back to the M provided you are doing a really good Plan A.

bigkahuna #1694223 10/17/06 09:56 PM
Joined: Jan 2006
Posts: 6,128
P
Member
OP Offline
Member
P
Joined: Jan 2006
Posts: 6,128
Quote
It was noticably thicker at the bottom. The glass flowed over the years.



Yes it happens to all of us. Quite depressing really. I spend two hours a day fighting gravity and the other 22 obeying it.

piojitos #1694224 10/17/06 10:09 PM
Joined: Sep 2006
Posts: 853
S
Member
Offline
Member
S
Joined: Sep 2006
Posts: 853
Quote
stph,

Continuing what I started last night, I doubt your H ever sat down one day and asked himself "what's the easiest way out of my M? Hey, I know! and affair!". But it is interesting that, at some point, he did come to the conclusion that you would automatically want a divorce. Put that in context. I am sure my WW never ver had that thought. She was caught up in the moment. She never thought about divorce, exposure, being caught, etc. She just enjoyed the affair. It was a magic bubble that protected her from the real world.

I imagine that your WH is in love with OW because he is happy with her. But he could just as easily be that happy with a billion other women. There is nothing really special about this one. No "soulmate". She is convenient because she provides happiness and (so he thought) gives him an express ticket out of the marriage. Well you didn't play by the rules. He assumed that if he wanted out of the M and you must have wanted the same thing. In short, his decisions were driven more by convoluted logic than emotion.

I simply think that it is much easier to kill that kind of an affair and change his way of thinking than to kill the romantic affair. If it was an exit affair, that brings the balance even further back to the M provided you are doing a really good Plan A.

Well, that makes more sense now than it did this morning! Thanks for explaining it better for me, Pio. I still don't like it, but I get it now.

I sound really stupid tonight, but I've had a horrible day and I'm exhausted.


BS (me)-26
WH-27
Dday-August 2006
0 kids
Married 4 years
NC established 1-26-07
status-working on it

"Sometimes, I'm afraid and I don't feel that tough...but I'll stand back up."
nams #1694225 10/17/06 10:13 PM
Joined: Sep 2006
Posts: 853
S
Member
Offline
Member
S
Joined: Sep 2006
Posts: 853
Quote
This will be quick & I could very easily be wrong but I think I see a pattern. You are giving, especially in a physical way, I don't mean sex, & your H takes advantage then scurries away. He gets a fix then decides that's not what he wants.

OK, nams is supposed to be in bed, so can someone explain this to me too? I don't get it.

Keep in mind I'm really, really tired and not really this stupid!


BS (me)-26
WH-27
Dday-August 2006
0 kids
Married 4 years
NC established 1-26-07
status-working on it

"Sometimes, I'm afraid and I don't feel that tough...but I'll stand back up."
stph20 #1694226 10/17/06 10:17 PM
Joined: Jan 2006
Posts: 6,128
P
Member
OP Offline
Member
P
Joined: Jan 2006
Posts: 6,128
Quote
I still don't like it, but I get it now.


And exactly what part of infidelity are you supposed to like? <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/confused.gif" alt="" />

I'm just trying to show you some positives in a very negative situation.

piojitos #1694227 10/17/06 10:24 PM
Joined: Oct 2005
Posts: 7,464
B
Member
Offline
Member
B
Joined: Oct 2005
Posts: 7,464
Stef,

Did you speak to the phone woman?


Me: 56 (FBS) Wife: 55 (FWW)
D-Day August 2005
Married 11/1982 3 Sons 27,25,23
Empty Nesters.
Fully Recovered.
piojitos #1694228 10/17/06 10:33 PM
Joined: Sep 2006
Posts: 853
S
Member
Offline
Member
S
Joined: Sep 2006
Posts: 853
Quote
Quote
I still don't like it, but I get it now.


And exactly what part of infidelity are you supposed to like? <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/confused.gif" alt="" />

I'm just trying to show you some positives in a very negative situation.

I told you I sounded stupid tonight! You were warned.

I meant that it doesn't make it any easier.

BigK, I explained it in my thread.


BS (me)-26
WH-27
Dday-August 2006
0 kids
Married 4 years
NC established 1-26-07
status-working on it

"Sometimes, I'm afraid and I don't feel that tough...but I'll stand back up."
stph20 #1694229 10/17/06 10:43 PM
Joined: Oct 2005
Posts: 7,464
B
Member
Offline
Member
B
Joined: Oct 2005
Posts: 7,464
Are you blonde by any chance Stef? (j/k)


Me: 56 (FBS) Wife: 55 (FWW)
D-Day August 2005
Married 11/1982 3 Sons 27,25,23
Empty Nesters.
Fully Recovered.
bigkahuna #1694230 10/17/06 11:01 PM
Joined: Sep 2006
Posts: 853
S
Member
Offline
Member
S
Joined: Sep 2006
Posts: 853
No, actually I'm a true brunette believe it or not!

I'm just very tired. I've been working A LOT lately and I just got a promotion so I have more responsiblity than I did and today was a very bad day for me, and I'm TIRED.

I can't even really blame it on that...I tend to be ditzy on a normal day...I probably shouldn't admit that on a national forum...


BTW, I think you should come to Illinois on your vacation next year! There's not much here but a bunch of corn, but that can be interesting...if you squint your eyes really tight and try really hard...


BS (me)-26
WH-27
Dday-August 2006
0 kids
Married 4 years
NC established 1-26-07
status-working on it

"Sometimes, I'm afraid and I don't feel that tough...but I'll stand back up."
Joined: Jan 2006
Posts: 2,431
T
Member
Offline
Member
T
Joined: Jan 2006
Posts: 2,431
Quote
Wait....did you mix it all in the cake mix box and put the box in the oven? I think I see the problem.


I know it must sound obvious now but at the time, these were the instructions on the back of the box:

"Duncan Hines has included a newly designed box which makes it possible to mix the ingredients in the box. You never have to dirty a bowl!" It goes on to say mix the ingredients and then "put the mix into a generously greased 13" X 9" pan and bake at 325 F for 25-30 minutes".

Now note, it never says to remove the mix from the box. I called Proctor and Gamble to point out the error in their instructions. They said that it should be obvious that one should pour the mix from the box and not merely lay the box into the pan. Then she asked me what kind of oven I had. Hmm.... never anticipated having to tell them that. But, secure in my manhood, I told her an Easy Bake oven. I don't like being laughed at if I am the only one not laughing. I really got mad. She felt so badly (right) that she is sending me a certificate for a year's supply of Duncan Hines cakemix. And oh yeah, a six pack of light bulbs.

Fortuntely, I have plenty of room for improvement.

stph20 #1694232 10/17/06 11:33 PM
Joined: Oct 2005
Posts: 7,464
B
Member
Offline
Member
B
Joined: Oct 2005
Posts: 7,464
Quote
I'm TIRED.

I think you might be tired - try going to bed and sleeping.

Quote
I can't even really blame it on that...I tend to be ditzy on a normal day...I probably shouldn't admit that on a national forum...

International forum Stef.

Quote
BTW, I think you should come to Illinois on your vacation next year! There's not much here but a bunch of corn, but that can be interesting...if you squint your eyes really tight and try really hard...

Love to go to IL - I have some other MB friends there as well but I just can't fit it all in unfortunately.

BTW - Go to BED!!!!!


Me: 56 (FBS) Wife: 55 (FWW)
D-Day August 2005
Married 11/1982 3 Sons 27,25,23
Empty Nesters.
Fully Recovered.
Joined: Jan 2006
Posts: 6,128
P
Member
OP Offline
Member
P
Joined: Jan 2006
Posts: 6,128
Quote
Now note, it never says to remove the mix from the box. I called Proctor and Gamble to point out the error in their instructions.


This reminds me of the case where an Oklahoma Sooner fan bought a Winnebago so he could travel and see all the games. Of course he thoroughly reads the owner's manual as we all do when we buy a vehicle (riiiiggghhtt) His first weekend he gets on the road, puts the vehicle on cruise control and goes to the back to make himself a cup of coffee.

After he wakes up from the coma and after several months of painful physical therapy, he hires a lawyer to sue Winnebago for not stating in the owner's manual that it is necessary to remain behind the wheel when the vehicle is placed on cruise control (he thought it was auto-pilot). Anyway, he won almost two million dollars in damages as well as a new Winnebago (and Winnebago quickly modified their owner's manuals).

So, if you play your cards right, you could sue both Duncan Hines AND Easy Bake. (Go for the deep pockets).

Joined: Oct 2005
Posts: 7,464
B
Member
Offline
Member
B
Joined: Oct 2005
Posts: 7,464
Hmm Pio - I'm assuming you know that the Winnebago thing is an urban myth right?


Me: 56 (FBS) Wife: 55 (FWW)
D-Day August 2005
Married 11/1982 3 Sons 27,25,23
Empty Nesters.
Fully Recovered.
bigkahuna #1694235 10/17/06 11:47 PM
Joined: Jan 2006
Posts: 6,128
P
Member
OP Offline
Member
P
Joined: Jan 2006
Posts: 6,128
Quote
International forum Stef.


BigK,

Sadly, most Americans don't know the difference. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/teary.gif" alt="" />

piojitos #1694236 10/17/06 11:49 PM
Joined: Oct 2005
Posts: 7,464
B
Member
Offline
Member
B
Joined: Oct 2005
Posts: 7,464
Right Pio - Hence you have the "World Series" for domestic competitions.


Me: 56 (FBS) Wife: 55 (FWW)
D-Day August 2005
Married 11/1982 3 Sons 27,25,23
Empty Nesters.
Fully Recovered.
Joined: Jan 2006
Posts: 6,128
P
Member
OP Offline
Member
P
Joined: Jan 2006
Posts: 6,128
Quote
I'm assuming you know that the Winnebago thing is an urban myth right?


It's only important that the judge doesn't know that.

Page 379 of 613 1 2 377 378 379 380 381 612 613

Link Copied to Clipboard
Forum Search
Who's Online Now
0 members (), 167 guests, and 59 robots.
Key: Admin, Global Mod, Mod
Newest Members
anonymous2025, Miss Crystal, Muschalek, Lucy Martin, Liiyan
71,936 Registered Users
Latest Posts
Separation
by ScreamArt - 01/16/25 11:36 PM
Can I become attracted to anyone?
by ertoops - 01/14/25 06:05 PM
Advice pls
by BrainHurts - 12/24/24 02:50 PM
Forum Statistics
Forums67
Topics133,620
Posts2,323,477
Members71,937
Most Online3,185
Jan 27th, 2020
Building Marriages That Last A Lifetime
Copyright © 2024, Marriage Builders, Inc. All Rights Reserved.
Site Navigation
Powered by UBB.threads™ PHP Forum Software 7.7.5