Not that there is anything wrong with that.

<img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/blush.gif" alt="" />

From Republican to Democrat in only two hours. Amazing.

hahahaha

I don't get it.

No cabe duda <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />

Hello everyone,

Glad to be back with a few secs to post.

Finally got through all my deadlines and have a deliciously long break to enjoy kids, do home improvements before putting house for sale in spring and having some quality "me" time

Of course, as timing always is a challenge, today is the first day without a million deadlines...DS is ill with 102 fever and general flu misery...I am hopwing that it doesn't spread like the plague between DDs and myself since I have big plans for kid fun in the coming weeks:)

Life without WH is blissful at times, overall a huge improvement on my psyche and occassionally sad

My kids are having a hard time. I got a great book from the library on healing the hurt for children who experience loss...there is a website/foundation called RAINBOWS that is dedicated to helping children through loss, crisis and grief. I'll post the link later when I have more time...I have already found it enormously helpful. DS sobbed and verbalized his feelings and fears and said he feels like dad died...not b/c of his amount of contact with him b/c that has actually improved...it is the concept of him being gone that has caused all the grief

I forgot to mention my anger...comes in spurts...I cried with DS and told him what I was afraid of and that I too felt like it wasn't fair but that we would work together to make the best of things. He seemed less distraught after seeing my same reaction...

On a lighter note we are preparing for the Holidays and I am going to be painting my downstairs before we decorate for Christmas. The kids are very excited about our roadtrip planned for Turkey day so I sure hope it doesn't snow...after the big wreck I don't think I would risk driving long distance in hazardous weather. I am still getting paperwork and legal stuff from the accident...go figure.

I missed you guys, your humor, hugs and support. I will post back later with individual comments. Gotta run DS to an appt.

hugz

Hey Pio,

I'm glad to hear your assessment of things with G is positive, even if for that particular moment.

I wasn't trying to suggest you dump everything because the loving feelings for G aren't there right now. While MB strategies work for many people & are certainly the best out there, we are all different. We all require different things to keep us satisfied & happy in a relationship & an individuals WW behavior can often be a point of no return.

I sincerely hope that's not the case with you & G.

Is she very clear about your ENs, not just what you require of her to recover from the A? It's especially important she meet these needs for you now. I just hope you've made her aware of what you require.

nams,

Don't you remember that we spent days looking for my EN's and couldn't find them. Even Myrta tried to help but to no avail.

Obviously we need to wait this out and see if feelings can eventually return. I don't expect that to be any time soon. I am getting better about telling her when things bother me. I'm still bugged that we don't really seem to talk that much about "us". That is partly my fault too. I think she is afraid to talk about anything. No news is good news - so to speak. We are spending time together.

Pio,

It's great you're spending time together, especially that you want to.

Yes, I remember you having difficulty with your ENs.

How can G generate feelings of love in you for her if she doesn't know what will do that for you?

I'm also glad to hear you can tell her when things bother you, a good step, but she will need more. ex never did this for me so I was left in the dark to guess. Never sucessful.

I think gemela is doing everything I could expect her to. If I had an EN I wanted met, she would likely try her best to do it. But intimacy is gone and trust is demolished. All I can say is that it is generally pleasant to be with gemela and she seems to be trying to protect my feelings. I'm not sure what else I can do at the moment. Maybe I need to have a raffle for EN's or something. I could sure use some and can't seem to come up with them on my own.

How unusual Pio, that you can't come up with a list of ENs. Do you think that's because of her affair or were you not able to list priorities for you prior to that?

It just has never taken much to make me happy. It all started (as previously posted) when I began reading philosophy. I now try to enjoy what I'm doing rather than doing what I enjoy.

Great attitude Pio!

Does that mean then that G can simply be herself & as long as she's not engaged in an A she will be sufficiently meeting your needs?

I'm not trying to be difficult here, just wondering how G can know what it will take to really get your love back.

pio,

Raise your expectations. What about affection, SF, and admiration? Do those need not exist for you even though you are feeling estranged from your wife? Put another way, don't you have those needs as a man and regardless of your marital situation?

Pio,

I have no intention of erasing my thread on ENs, I think I'll just let it die a slow death.

Just think of it as a philosophical difference, I prefer to accentuate the positive. I've had 6-7 f the worse months of my life in the worst year of my life. I need positive experiences to help erase the negative ones.

I agree and apologize.

One possible solution is to harvest trees in a regular fashion and bury them into the ground, thus trapping the carbon. The areas would be replanted and harvested in an ongoing cycle. This would create over a period of years an enormous carbon "sink". Perhaps over the course of several millions years this carbon 'sink' would turn into oil.

booka,

I can assure you that you are the one person I don't want to get any marriage advice from. You don't have the qualifications. Post about other things but keep your advice about my marriage to yourself.

Wrong. Try best two out of three. Booka, all kidding aside, I think you may have a disconnect between what you believe you do and what you do. Go back and read some of your posts. You tend to wallow in self-pity. In no way can that be construed as positive.


Is this an example of accentuating the positive?


On this, we agree.