Portuguese eh? Do you do the Lambada? Sounds like fun. Yeah, nams, you are pretty much on hold at this point. There will be plenty of opportunities at the right time.

Hey Bigger,

You know, I was thinking the other day that Communism is not even in our vocabulary anymore. And I have the migration all mapped out in my head. The jobs are located on an Air Force base and I don't know which command it is but it would be a pleasure to help develop the weapons system that brings peace to the world. Or war. And I am not that picky.

Thanks Jen and Todd. Some encouragement that I'm doing the right thing is nice to hear once in a while. I'm not getting that much anymore.

Todd, I don't think BigK is proud. He's one pushing for me to go to Plan B.

I think he's upset with me and I'm really sad about that, but I have to do what I feel is necessary and right, and Plan B is not it.

Hey 2much, hope things are better for you today.

Since you know the area, the jobs are at Eglin. I don't know if Eglin is TAC, SAC or ADC. I would guess ADC because of the coastal location. I entered a post earlier that must be stuck in cyberspace but I had posted that I had bought a lot in Blue Mountain Beach on 30-a if you know that area. WW wanted to buy a home which was not on the beach. My instincts told me to buy the lot, as expensive as it was. The lot was in The Retreat, if you know the development. After hearing WW complain for two years, I sold the lot at a reasonable profit. Today, it is worth a factor of 7 times what I paid for it. Just one more thing to be bitter about, lol.

Both jobs requiure a top secret security clearance which I had in the Air Force so hopefully that wouldn't be a problem. That is, if they overlook my deviant behavior while in the AF. I love the military; I just didn't love being in the military. Maybe being in during the Vietnam "conflict" was part of the problem.

If I get and accept the job, I would likely buy a condo in Destin or even Ft. Walton Beach. Would have to look at a map. I would much prefer Destin however.

Here's an aside but I recollect a Crocodile Hunter episode in which Steve was asked by the Rangers, who train at Eglin, to clear the area of snakes. He saw a bear and gave chase. The bear outran him but as he stopped, there was a magnificent Eatern Diamondback rattlesnake in front of him. Steve described the snake as being "10 feet long with a head as big as his fist". He laid on the ground and looked the snake right in the eyes. He declared that to be the highlight of his career. As you probably know, the Eatern Diamondback is the king of rattlers and Steve was impressed. Here is a guy who has handled snakes around the world including black mambas, cobras, crape myrtles , not to mention the highly venomous snakes native to Aus. And he found this snake to be the highlight. And that episode reminded me of what I miss about Steve: his unbridled enthusiasm.

Steph, it's WAAAY too soon for Plan B.

In your sitch I just don't think it would work at all.

Enjoy your fish nams! It sounds like fun and yummy too! Have fun tonight!

<img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/eek.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/eek.gif" alt="" />

I don't think Plan B would work either Jen. WH just wouldn't "get it".

Explain this to BigK for me would ya?

I agree that your WH just wouldn't get it. He's wavering and confused and to lose contact with you right now wouldn't help in any way whatsoever.

OK Stef - keep this spot open I will respond. But I'm getting yelled at to start cooking breakfast.

I am NOT MAD at you at all.

Ears burning were they BigK? <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

OK BigK, go fix your breakfast and come talk to me.

To be honest I'm thinking of an MBer who went into Plan B and I still think it was the wrong thing to do for that particular person's sitch.

What happened?

They divorced. I'm pretty sure things would have been salvageable if this person had kept in contact with the WS.

Maybe not. I could be quite wrong. It was not a good situation. I just always had a gut feeling that Plan B didn't help the BS in this case.

And that's what I feel would happen if I went to Plan B. WH is not stupid, but not very in touch with his feelings either. He wouldn't get the point of it. No matter what I said or how I said it, he would always think it meant divorce. And he wouldn't try to get me back...he just doesn't work that way. He would think, well that's her decision, so I have to go along with it.

I need to be here for him.

Exactly!

I'm glad somebody finally agrees with me...sheesh! I was starting to get a complex! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/eek.gif" alt="" />

LOL don't get a complex.

On a different topic, DD is well and truly home. I'd forgotten how many times she used to call me. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" /> They're house hunting now and I get calls every five minutes to look at "another one" on the net.

Hope is not a plan Stef. You hope this hope that.

You cannot control OW or WH, you can only control yourself. It is foolish to depend on some other third party to give you what you need. YOU have to decide what YOU need and then make that happen.

Despite what Jen says, your husband WILL get it. You have this disrespectful vision of him that "he won't care" or "he won't get it". If that is truely the case then why are you even with him? If he cares that little for you?

He is a serial cheater Stef. He will go and screw an OW whenever the fancy takes him and you just accept it and welcome him back into your life. You have discounted the price of admission back into your heart to $0.00 He is STILL in an affair whilever there is any contact. I am amazed that KiwiJ would say or think any different. She has been at MB long enough to understand this but seems to have learnt NOTHING in all her time here.

What are your boundaries Stef? Because I see NONE.

Now let me make 2 things clear.

1. My happiness is not dependant on you following my advice. I have learnt/am learning that I need to not get so emotionally involved with people I am trying to help. All I can do is give you the best MB advice which I have done. Whether or not you follow it is up to you. The advice I have given you is identical in every way to most of the MB "heavy hitters" I am not out of step with any of them. You ignore their advice and mine at your own cost because you are going to have a miserable false recovery. Experience on these boards proves that over and over again. You are no more a special case in this than your husbands affair is special. This is Betrayed Spouse Fog at it's finest.

2. I like you a lot Stef and I care about you. I do not want to see you get hurt as I know you will. I see an express train heading for the edge of a cliff and am trying to warn you. That's all.

Really, at the end of the day, your marriage will have no effect on me whatsoever. It will only effect you and WH. It's your life Stef. I am not mad at you.